messed up, can't escape

Hi @mandy84,

I'm so sorry this has happened to you... you must feel very lonely right now, and also very angry, I think. I know it's very little comfort, but at least you now know exactly the type of man you are dealing with... you seemed to have some doubts before.... you thought there was a possibility to continue your relationship with this man.... I hope you have changed your mind about that.

He is a typical self-centered "user"... he has probably done the same thing to a lot of women... doesn't sound like he has a conscience at all!

I guess you can think of it as at least you have a roof over your head tonight... can you make a few calls and aim to leave the motel first thing in the morning, before he returns? Can you get the bus to the airport and catch a flight back to Sydney to your sister's house? I would be thinking along those lines, once you are thinking more clearly.

Put your safety first and stay at the motel until you feel less weepy. Then get a plan of action together.

By the way, it's him who sould feel cheap, not you. You have not done anything wrong really, but you have been taken advantage of by someone who is more experienced and 'street-wise' than you. Unfortunately something similar happened to me, when I was 18.

I really feel for you. Let us know you are ok.

Big hugs,

@mandy84,

of course you are exhausted after what has happened to you. I'm so glad you have your sister to turn to. She must realize something is wrong since you spent the night crying and drinking on her couch? Couldn't you confide in her? It would be such a relief to tell someone what you are going through.

It's a good thing that you are in touch with your anger... to me, it means your instincts are intact, that you realize how you have been wronged and that you deserve so much better.

You are also grieving for your lost pregnancy... that grief is something that takes time to work through. It's not something that can just be buried.

I would think you are going to take time to process all that has happened. But I'm so glad that you got that flight out of Melbourne and away from that horrid man.

If you can, maybe get an appointment to see a G.P. and get a referral to see a psychologist. I believe it would help you greatly to get everything off your chest.

Don't hate yourslef, @mandy84- you have everything to look forward to and you are a good person with a big heart.

Hi @mandy84

You have made some mistakes but that's all they are - mistakes. Right now you are up to your neck with regrets but you have left this guy in the middle of the night and gone back to Sydney - how brave that is!! and yes - of course you will be hurting and grieving

But you are not a waste of space in anyway. None of us get through this life without making them and when someone says "Well - you've made your bed ... ta da...." you can say what many people now say "Yes - I made my bed and it was not right so I got up and made it again - somewhere else"

You need to seek help from WIRES or other women's councelling services - the time immediately after breaking up with an abusive person is the most dangerous. I can't remember if this guy has been physically abusive - but don't run the risk of seeing him - most of all alone. Don't let him know where you are and if you are in doubt at all - ring the police.

I can't make this point strong enough. So far your self-esteem has taken a huge battering - but this can be fixed in time - beware of your personal safety right now

As far as letting God down - that is impossible. He knows us. He knows what mistakes we are likely to make before we are even born - and he sent Christ for us - for the people who make mistakes - the confused people - the lonely and the lost - the people with MI - the bereaved, and the people who are living in a really bad place because of those choices - and - of course - he came for the people who think they are righteous and holy because no one is that pure. He came for me too because I have stuffed up myself. I married the wrong man - and of course I would not have my beauitful daughter had I not - but still - getting out of a marriage has a lot of the same crappy feelings attached

People here will not judge - so you have some to the right place - we own our mistakes here - the website is entirely confidential and private. We really care.

Right now you feel worthless but you are anything but -

Take a lot of care of yourself and if you sense this guy is after you - seek help from a women's refuge. I don't know what to suggest myself - but the moderators will

Take care of yourself

Decadian

I agree with @Decadian, God does love you and will not ever leave you. Even in your darkest hour God will be there for you.

Your mistakes do do make you who you are. Hang in there.

And please do go see a doctor if your tummy is still hurting after a miscarriage... I am no expert but I think it's always good to have a check-up. Maybe ask for a female G.P?

x

Well said @Sahara

Yes @mandy84

You might need another D&C after your miscarriage - I think you said you had one but it is a good idea to either go back to the doctor you treated you - and yes - a female doctor would be better for you in these circumstances

Or you can go to an ED - and still ask for a female doctor and say it's your preference.

I was so busy thinking up how to protect yourself I didn't think about the physically effects of your miscarriage. I have the feeling it was a bit further along than a few weeks

Dec