messed up, can't escape

Oh @mandy84,

that must be so sad being with someone who doesn't even want to talk to you. Why did he insist you come with him on this trip if he wont even talk to you? He must feel guilty and can't accept the reality of what has happened to you.... your miscarriage. I don't know.

That's so strange about the "open marriage" thing he has going with his wife! Does she sleep around too? And he is happy with that? I guess she would want to seek comfort elsewhere if he never talks to her, either!

@mandy84, these people are very odd... I think you could find much better company. I know it might mean being alone for a while while you work things through... but counselling will help you with that.

There have been so many times in my life where I have found myself alone without anyone to really talk to... my family are all very emotionally vacant and inhibited. But it's better to be alone than in bad company... that old saying is so true.

I think these weird 'Christians' are quite warped. You are not going to be able to think straight while you are in their company.

Hi @mandy84

One thing we can help you with here is to let you know various forms of abuse you may no realise are abuse

If you are being kept short of cash or don't have any - that is a form of abuse

If someone watches you all the time and keeps you from having any contact with people of whom they do not approve - that is a form of abuse

And certainly verbal silence is

Be careful to keep this part of your computer closed to the guy you are with so he can't read your mail - and shepherd any money you do have to prepare for the time when you are ready to get away - I know this is hard - but if you ask we can give you suggestions

There are people here who have been or are in difficult relationships - some stay because they have their self-esteem and their reasons for staying are good - I left my marriage after years of silence (that's the short story) - it is very lonely living with a guy who rarely talks about anything interesting

We won't judge you here - we are all well aware of how harsh the world can be and how wonderful it is to have a secure place to meet like minded people

Decadian

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@mandy84 wrote:
Just looked at another thread about Christmas. Bad enough at my sisters with baby stuff everywhere let alone Christmas decorations and 'happy families' How can I enjoy chrisas with a family who couldn't care less if I was around, I just lost my 2nd pregnancy, the father is not really in my life, I quit my dream job for the pregnancy I lost, my friends (all church friends) knowing theyd be be like the few I've told and shun me for getting pregnant unwed. So not telling anyone else there. And my dad would be so disappointed. I've let God down too, and myself. I never knew I was capable of this. What a mess 😞

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Hi again @mandy84

This is a good place to be around Christmas - many of us know how gloomy Christmas can be for some people - Christmas Blues - people forget the reason for the season - so wrong and society is so hyped up

Now this is very important - You can't let God down - when God created mankind and gave us free will he knew we would stuff up and gave us the solution in Christ. God knows everything and even what mistakes we are likely to make - we are only human after all

I am seriously wondering about what kind of sect you are in - I have had a bit to do with some of them - well - 2 of them - and I know they are very much their way or the highway - but they are wrong

The more conforming and orthodox Christian Communities have a wider acceptance of our humanity and will be more open- and less judgmental. The people you are with atm are seriously weird. I won't go on with that - other people here have said very helpful things

And I am so glad of this - it must be so lonely for you write now. Have you been in contact with your Dad to let him know you could use his help right now. You assume you have let him down - but give him a chance - he might be breaking his heart wanting to know about you

I had several miscarriages before I had children - I know how disappointing it was to have all this happening when I wanted children so badly - the grief from your miscarriages is real and will be with you for a while - and I know it might be hard to grasp right now - if you had the children you were carrying you would at least have them - but right now - they would make life harder while you are looking for a better life.

I just realised you were a nurse - my suggestion is you get back into nursing as soon as you recover enough from your miscarriage - it's only a suggestion but it is a way to start. It might not be right for you - but they always need nurses - and give your Dad a chance

btw - my dd got pregnant before she was married - sure - they planned the baby and got married in a Church - but once she was of legal age it was my opinion that a child whether born in wedlock or not would still be my grandchild. Nothing could make me abandon my dd - she is the most precious person in my life

It's so good you have found us

Decadian

@mandy84 maybe work will open up an avenue. Life can turn and change. Dont believe that you only have him.

You have yourself, care for your body and spirit.

Sorry if I was too intense about it. Do what you feel is the right thing.

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@Decadian wrote:

I am seriously wondering about what kind of sect you are in - I have had a bit to do with some of them - well - 2 of them - and I know they are very much their way or the highway - but they are wrong

The more conforming and orthodox Christian Communities have a wider acceptance of our humanity and will be more open- and less judgmental. The people you are with atm are seriously weird. I won't go on with that - other people here have said very helpful things

@mandy84, I totally agree with @Decadian. The people you are keeping company with are seriously strange. Well, they may be a registered church or whatever, but that doesn't mean they are healthy and have everyone's best interests at heart. From what you have written, I have major doubts about them. I so hope that you are OK right now.

Please let us know what is going on and let us know you are alright. Remember, you can always speak to someone at Lifeline if you need to.

Sending you support and hugs.

I agree @mandy84 ....

If things have turned really crazy, then Lifeline is a good idea right now .... 13 11 14 ...

They can help you put the tumultuous emotions back into some sort of working form, and offer support services.

Take great care Hon, and we're here for you ....

❤️💕