Taking charge of my well being!

Hi @Former-Member I was looking around the forum and noticed that you tagged me on the 27th Oct. Thankyou. I don't get notifications, so I only know if someone has tagged me if I look around.

I will keep an eye on your thread from now on. I haven't read through everything on here, because there are too many messages for me to read. So I don't know how you are going at the moment. How have you been lately?

I have been struggling alot for a few months, since I started seeing a psychologist again. I need to work on practising mindfulness.

I finally got out of the house at 2pm today and went for a drive in the mountains with my daughter. Then went for a long walk in the rainforest on the way home. At least I am able to go out walking now. There was a time where I didn't have the energy for that. So, I need to look at the little achievements, instead of looking at what I haven't achieved.

Looking forward to hearing how you are, when you feel up to it.

Hugs to you. xoxo

Hi @Former-Member

How are you?

I can relate to not having much energy too, and I think its important you to recognise and reflect on your achievement thus far. I started on a health journey last year, and I am slowly getting healthier and fitter. I was only thinking today of when I started on my health journey and how much I have achieved and I was kinda a bit disappointed on how I thought I had not achieved much lately but the fact of the matter, I am still exercising and doing more then when I started and I am quite consisted with this. I believe consistency is the key and even when I don't feel like it I still get up and train.

I am sorry to hear that you have been struggling the last few months and I hope you can find more peace and love in your life. I hope you are having a nice night.

Hi @Former-Member Nice to hear from you.

Good on you for keeping on going, even when you don't feel like it. Yes, it is good to be determined and keep up with fitness, healthy eating, that's for sure.

It can seem like such a long slow journey to wellness. But if we keep at it, we will get there.

We don't really have a choice, giving up really isn't an option, is it? Giving up, isn't living. We derserve to have a happy life. We will, if we keep at it.

Hugs to you. xo

I don't think we have an option either @Former-Member . Its not in my makeup to give up and not in yours either. How is the therapy going? Do you have much support outside therapy?

I'm starting my volunteer course this Wednesday, and looking forward to this. My niece wants me to go up to her place this Monday but I am struggling atm, I think I am going to have to tell her I can't make it. I don't cope with early morning starts and I already have one this Wednedsay and I don't fancy goig through peak hour traffic to go up and see her.

Atm my volunteer work is important to me and also being around people, I think its another step forward in my recovery. Do you have any other plans in your recovery- we could share some ideas of what as helped and what as not helped.

Sorry @Former-Member I just went off to do some things, clean kitchen etc.

I'm still here, will write message now, if you're still on. No worries, if you have to go.

I guess we are lucky that we don't give up. @Former-Member

I have always been like that. Once I start something, I don't often give up. I see this in my daughter as well, which is good.

I actually started going to this psychologist to have EMDR, I think I have explained to you what it is, have I?

Anyway, I have had 7 visits there so far and the EMDR hasn't worked for me yet. I seem to put up a protective wall, which I need to bring down. This is why I really need to do the mindfulness regulary, this will help. I was going every week to the psychologist, but now am finding it too much for me, so I have decided to go fortnightly for a while. That will also give me a chance to work on getting the protective walls down.

No, I don't have any other support. I have had to isolate myself from friends and especially family. I have my husband, he is ok, but I find being married very difficult, due to PTSD. I am hopeful that our marriage will work out, once I get well. If this marriage doesn't work, I certainly wouldn't try with someone else. I think we'll be ok. Family, I keep at a distance, they all trigger the PTSD. Friends are at a distance for now anyway, not sure if I'll reconcile with any of them. They are too busy with their lives and I don't have the energy to chase after them.

For years I having been searching for answers for my healing,( on my own lately). Self help books on everything you can think of.

Doctors etc haven't been able to help me at all. Medicaitons aren't good for me. Have been to naturopaths, other psychologists and you name it................... I have had alot of counselling in the past which has helped to some degree, but I still have a long way to go. It's been long and slow, but I am not as bad as I used to be.

Because I've had so many traumas all throughout my life, since being a teenager, my body just doesn't cope with any stress anymore.

I can see that the most important thing to do is exercise, eat well and learn to relax etc through mindfulness.

That's good that you have your voluntary work to look forward to oceangirl.

Sounds like a good idea to not visit your niece if you're not feeling up to it. I have learnt that sometimes we shouldn't push ourselves. Do what feels right for you. I'm not a morning person either. I have to get up early to get my daughter to school every day, but I have been going back to bed for a bit more sleep, after I drop her off.

Anyway, I will finish off for now. Look forward to hearing from you when you have time, no pressure.

I'm still here @Former-Member

Sorry I must not have seen your message @Former-Member .

You sound very much like me in how you approach things. I too have a lot of trauma and I can't tolerate much stress anymore. I agree that Drs are not much help at all, and its sad but I think in most cases- the only person who is going to get you through this is yourself.

I too was searching for answers for years too and doing a lot of what you are doing but I think the best way forward is just to try and live in the here and now. For me I have quite a protective wall too, and that has not always been the case for me- I know its slowly coming down but very slowly. Did you have specific trigger that contributed or was the cause of your defense mechanism.

I'm a bit hestitant about the voluteer course because their is assessmet attach to it and that makes it a little stressful because you have to perform. And plus I have early start to do this once a week but I think its manageable, I just worry about my sleep and lack of sleep and then my anxiety kicks in and then its a domino affect (depression). I just have to get organized so I am ready to go Wednesday morning- the good thing is that I will be finished at 3pm.

I find my family triggers me too, and it is really affecting my health. I can understand why you want to keep to yourself, I do too. I just want mostly to be alone but I want someone to be alone with too. I think that is enough I don't want to overwhelm you, its getting a bit late.