Taking charge of my well being!

Hi @Former-Member. I hear you with this. I think I feel in a similar position to you but for very different reasons. For me the decision to live seems to have triggered a massive depression that I can't seem to climb out of. It's like everything just got heavier and harder. I am so tired all the time and I have a good day, two if I'm lucky and then go straight back to wanting it all to end. It seems like it will never end.

At the moment @Former-Member the thing that keeps me going the most are the people that have done it longer and harder than I have and who have purpose in their life and those who just offer support no matter what. I know you need time away from here but I just wanted to let you know that it seems possible to climb out one day. Take care @Former-Member 💜😊

Wow @Former-Member you have come so far. Little by little you'll continue improving. It might be a bit of 1 step forward and 2 back on and off but that simply gives you more time to refine the techniques you're developing.
I'm so pleased for you! 🎶💕🎶

When the road seems trudging all uphill,
rest if you must, but do not quit.

My emotional bill of rights

Forgiveness is optional, moving on is priceless.
I am entitled to RESPECT.
My family of origin doesn't have to be the family I identify with.
What happened to me was not my fault.
Being happy and myself are my fundamental rights.

Hi @utopia

Good to see you here too. How have you been doing? I am still not going round the forums much, I seem to be better just focussing on one little thing at a time.

Hi @Former-Member I am so sorry to hear that you have been having such a tough time. But you are brave, you made the decision to live, that gives you options, choices. What treatment options have you looked at, gone through? I found the worst part was actually figuring out what was going on and finding a good team of therapists. Life is not great, but I have come so far in the last couple of months. I am thinking of you and I hope you get help. Take care my friend.

Hi @Kurra How are you? Good to see you here. I hope you're having more good times 🙂

Hi @R1CK13 Nice to meet you! Hope you're doing ok.

I am ok, I am trying to get my rest and relax sorted so I can live the days more fully. And then there are the triggers that tear me down, but I seem to be able to catch myself quicker and with a bit of medical help.

Some of the phrases I am saying over and over in my head are actually starting to make a difference. I always found remembering the most difficult part and then actually trying to be comforting to myself is still difficult - hard to explain.

Thinking of you all! Look after yourselves x

Good to hear from you @Former-Member. I'm glad you are finding things to help you. I think we are in a very long slow race. I'm sure you'll work out how to comfort yourself but like you it seems foreign to me too. I am finding some days I work through it and some days things eat me alive for no real reason. I don't have the trauma you have to deal with and so can only imagine the difficulties you are facing. Stay brave and keep fighting @Former-Member, you are doing a great job💜😊

@Former-Member. I'm good thanks. Glad to hear from you. I left hospital in early June - & it's only been the last month I have put all the pieces together and have started to feel content & more in control.
You learn quotes and techniques in hospital, but it's not til you get home to the 'real world' - that you start making sense of them & learn more with your therapist - that it starts to click. It's learning to be repetitive with shutting down negative self talk etc.
It sounds like you are getting there and it won't be long til you rwjoin groups and activities that you like.
I went to the movies on my own tonight and watched Bad Moms. Laughed so much. Was just what I needed after a bugger of a day.
What havw you been up to today? Any plans for tomorrow?

@utopia

I saw bad moms a couple of weeks ago. The first part of the movie made me think of how mad the world is and that it is no wonder people get depression and anxiety. I think I was only a week out of hospital, so didn't see the funny side of the first part.

I've seen a friend for lunch today and am now catching up with work. I missed a lot during my hospital stay and am still catching up - doesn't make it easier when working part time.

How was your Sunday?

@Former-Member. I'm glad you had lunch with a friend today.
I don't think I could have gone to the movies one week after leaving hospital. One or two weeks later - & I wanted to go back to hospital and hide. Thank god for my psychologist.
I wouldn't have been able to see that anythingwas funny dduring that time.
I washed all the sheets and doonas today. Bit early to wash the doonas - as mines wool & the weather hasn't been good for outside drying.
Am reading an interesting book - fiction - set in the Assam region of India. Really enjoying it. Mowed some of the backyard. I can't do the whole block in one day. Too exhausting.
Cooking some chilli con carn & rice for dinner. I might go and put some extra chilli powder in. Give it a bit of a kick.
Am so glad to see you writing on this site. Just do what you can. Don't push yourself - as you say you have a bit of work to catch up on.