Taking charge of my well being!

Oh sheesh @Former-Member, @Appleblossom @utopia

I had forgotten - not too deeply forgotten - but a year after my son died I got a series of migraine attacks and was at the doctors constantly and eventually I was put into a local general private hospital - I was desperate - couldn't endure myself any longer and my doctor asked what I wanted to do and I said "sleep for a week" and so they arranged this - giving me sedation twice a day and all I did for a week was sleep

After that I had another week in hospital and I was ready to leave the hospital but not in any mood to go home - but I did - and these posts have reminded me how I put my life back together -

I could use some of those ideas now - but it's my back that keeps me from doing too much - not my emotions - it is entirely different - emotions are harder

The tough part was the disintergration of my marriage - we ate our meals watching TV and lasted a couple more years - but how did I cope?

I gradually added more to my days - I went back to my classes and finished the year - and I got a job part time - for 5 hours a day until Christmas - in the end I was working all day and went back after Christmas and stayed for another three years - great -

But to say how I did this - nearly 30 years ago - I really don't know - perhaps looking for work was helpful - and no one at work knew my son had died so recently - it took time - bit by bit - and the details are lost in time now -

@Former-Member - it will be like finding a new life - I can tell you that if something works for you - you will continue doing it - and if it doesn't - you will stop - all the time you had in hospital will have given you more power over your life - you had a decent break there

But as for strange thingss - who says what is strange - different is better - not wrong - who makes up the codes for behaviour - being in hospital is a great place to be when you are coping with all the stuff you went through

I didn't think anything you wrote here was "strange" in that sense at all - not even remotely

You will get back to your valuable and helpful activities - don't jump in the deep end - take your time to sort your values and responsibilities and be your own person

Lots of hugs

Decadian

Glad you are doing well @Former-Member

I see a little sunshine under my heavy curtain .. will try and get out in it in the garden today. My son is playing piano atm.

Yesterday we both went to a memorial and played piano in it. It was for a an old drama professor who had helped my son.

He was an atheist so it was non-religious but in my old church choir hall!!??

Relaxing today as I have a quiet life generally and it was a little stressful playing publicly ... but all went well.

It was also good that though most of the people were theatrical types it was very real and authentic and non hyped. His struggles with depresssion, alcohol and having his gayness accepted by family were all touched on in a way ... that made him seem whole and human ... so the mourners did not have to pretend ... and it was better that way.

Good morning All @Appleblossom @Decadian @utopia @Former-Member @BlueBay @TAB @Former-Member @Kurra

I hope you are all going ok.

I find it increasingly difficult to write my thoughts down, to read your answers and reply. And I am sorry if I don't reply. But I am not in the right headspace to be on the internet. I have also found the same "issue" with chatting to helplines. It propably has much to do with the fact that I have now started trauma work and am not willing to share this on the internet. But I am ok and I have a support system in place.

So please know that whilst I would love to sit down in person with you and have a cuppa, the internet doesn't allow for that. Whilst in hospital I have opened my laptop less and less and taken my mobile with me less and less. I think I just need a digital break.

Hugs to all and thank you for all the support you have given me in the past few months. xox

Hey @Former-Member

I totally uderstand what you're saying. You need your time to work on you. Take as much time as you need, we'll be here for you when you decide to come back on.

I too had no internet access while in hospital and I had decided to stop coming on here for a while but I came back on I think too soon. But i also have my knitting now that is taking up time instead of being on the laptop at night.

Hugs to you @Former-Member take care xxxooo

@Former-Member I hope everything works out for you my friend.

Rememeber - Some days are Diamond and some are Stone ! i wish you every success along the journey ahead. we are here if you require us.

Take care.

Hi @Former-Member

You take all the time you need - there are times when we need to be away from certain subjects and certain environments

And you are taking charge of your well being

Work on your therapy - and when you are ready to come back - we will be ready to welcome you

Decadian

I totally understand that @Former-Member. You are the most important person in this equation and I think it sounds like you have come such a long way since going to hospital. It sounds like this is the next part of your recovery and I can totally understand how draining it would be let alone how deeply personal. Take care of you, sending hugs and wishing you the very best for the future. 💜😊