Taking charge of my well being!

Wow @utopia

That was a busy day

Having someone store there stuff at your house for so long is a very unpleasant thing

And my ex-husband - I used to tell him - "Stop taking things that people give you - they are only giving it a good home - and I won't have it in my house"

So he stored this mountain of stuff at his mother's house - and when she sold her house he used money he didn'g have to build what he called a garage on our property and filled it up with junk - and stuff he had in the house used to gradually find it's way into the garbage - I think the junk was still in that building when the house was sold - I wouldn't know

I hate cluttter - sure - some things I have a keepsakes - other things find their way into the hard rubbish collection

It will be great for your son and his mates to have that space to hang out in. A garage can be another room

My daughter and her family have the garage and there's a pool table and a fridge for drinks and it's even got a couch in there - it's for casual entertaining

All the best with that project - and getting your spare room back

Decadian

Good morning Everyone,

@Decadian Thank you for reminding me that we ourselves can only make it better. I did an online CBT course late last year and I think it is time to pull out the "fun activity" planning one and go through that again. I've been really slack with it, because I feel completely overwhelmed just looking at my calendar. I actually have a few things to look forward to in the next couple of weeks / months, so I will make sure to write them somewhere I can see them every day!

@utopia Your project sounds amazing!!! And huge! But it will be so worth it! Your son will have so much fun in there 🙂 I hate clutter and clear out regularily what I am allowed to clear out - but do not dare to touch hubby's treasures.

I think I should go back to bed, it is only 5am.

Have a lovely Sunday!

Hi @Former-Member,

i just wanted to say hi and that I still follow your journey. Sometimes I share similar things to you like the sitting in the car thing. I can also identify with you the range of emotions and thoughts you go through each week from the optimism that we'll work this all out to complete despair wondering what the point is although I know they are for very different reasons. That constant roller coaster is exhausting. Like you too i am starting to identify that life often needs to be planned for hour to hour as anything more becomes overwhelming. I just wanted to add that I see your strength of spirit and have great faith this will carry you through your darkest times. Sending best wishes, kind thoughts and hugs for the next hour and every hour after that💜😊

Hi @Former-Member & everyone else

Thank you for your wishes and kind thoughts and for following my journey.

I've had a couple of good days, did some soothing and grounding work with my therapist and work has been ok. I am in week 2 of "Mindfulness in 8 weeks" and my big toe is still there. I got bored during the first week of 35min bodyscan, only to find out I had to do it in week 2 as well (I've checked, no bodyscan in week 3). Anyway I decided to try that book and it says, that you do not need to enjoy it, feel more relaxed or in hippy heaven, they are exercises, just like in the gym. So I will do them. And I actually did them all through last week, which was a terrible week. Somehow the bodyscan does not trigger memories (like silent meditation), probably because it is so new for me. I always feel like I have 4 toes between the big and the little toe - but I've checked, there are only three. I am also fascinated by the amount of non existent feelings I have in certain body parts.

I really want to work with my support team and make an impact on the things I can have control over. Mindfulness, exercise and diet is something I want to work on, but little by little, for now I am proud that i made my mindfulness nearly every day.

How are you all doing? Warm wishes and big hugs to all.

Hello all,

I think I am on the way down again 😞 well it was nice to have a high. It's all about attitude, right?

Okay, I have so much to look forward to this weekend, my son is coming to visit, we meet with friends and I am really looking forward to see my boy 🙂

Remember... little by little, hour by hour. Work will be over soon, then I can have a nap and perhaps pick myself up from the exhausting project work I did earlier today.

Positive thinking, positive thinking!!!!

POSITIVE THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a shit day!

Too much black and white thinking. I've got to shut up that little noisy voice in my head. Look at the good things. Nearly bed time, can't wait to get to sleep. Just so confused and upset!

Okay, little steps, little steps. One more thing to do before I can take my night meds and go to bed. I can worry about tomorrow tomorrow.