Taking charge of my well being!

Hi @Former-Member

How did you go at the doctor's?

Hi @Former-Member

A cuddle before work - wonderful - grab the chances when you can - esp in the middle of winter

It is strange how life passes - my Dad died - ah - 5.5 years ago - it was a peaceful death and he went quickly and easily and maintain his nobility until the end.

Mum died last year - she totally lost the plot when Dad died - and I felt angry when she started yelling and crying and calling out his name at the funeral - and yet I cried for what never was and the rise of memories I had repressed at her funeral

I had a good night's sleep last night - very peaceful - very pleasant - I woke up early and chatting in a little Face Book group I am in - great time to start the day

So I hope your day is as good as it can be @Former-Member

Decadian

Good morning All,

@Decadian losing parents is difficult and the range of emotions is unbelievable. To this day I go through my moments - my dad died unexpected and young, he was only in his early 50s.

I had a difficult morning yesterday, unfortunately the cuddle only helped at that moment. Then I was on the road and over and over my thoughts went. I called a helpline, but I was not really sure what to say. I would so much love having a helpline where they could just understand what is going on and get you back to the here and now - but I guess through the phone that is even more difficult than in a session - if I don't want to talk, or rather cannot make sense myself to be able to talk, how are they supposed to help? Then I was sitting in the carpark of my GP and thought about seeing him. I think I know what he would have done if he saw me yesterday morning. So I sat in my car, all of the sudden all grown up again, and wrote a list about the choices I can make in this moment. I did not look at my safety plan, because I think it is outdated - I did that before starting trauma therapy, nothing on that list interests me when I feel like I felt yesterday.

So I wrote down my choices at that moment - 6 of them included professional help, 1 going to work and seeing what happened, and I concluded that I can always choose to end it all at any point, it is my choice. Somehow that helped. I realised that at least 4 out of 6 professionals would send me to hospital, so I thought I try work, left a message for my psychiatrist and decided I can always make another choice later. I went to work and there is this one person who has a very calming effect on me, and he was there. After lunch the fog started to lift.

Woah I think I have to have some serious discussions with my professional team.

Hi @Former-Member

Wow sounds like you had a tough day but it ended quite okay. Well done on your self control. It's great when you have someone at work like you to calm your mind, that is a huge relief.

Yes, maybe writing things down so you can explain it to your psych/GP will help.

I remember sitting in my car after leaving my psych's rooms and bawling. I picked up the phone and called ASCA (adults suriving childhood abuse) and the lady i had on the other end was fantastic. She helped me calm down, distract myself and just breathe. I was able to then drive home.

Take care @Former-Member hope you have a good day. xxxooo

@Former-Member

It does sound as if you have had a tough and unusual sort of day

Yes - I agree that there are times when all your positive and helpful ideas are really tired looking when other issues take over - I am having a bit of that myself today - and I feel tired just thinking about everything

This is when those terrible words "At least....." tend to be told - and "At least I know what you are talking about" make sense

Yes - keep that appointment - have that discussion with your professional team - I think you need it right now'

Decadian