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Taking charge of my well being!

Unknown userMember15 June 2016, 8:59 pm AEST

Taking charge of my well being!

Hello All,

I decided today not to go to hospital. I have a new psychiatrist, meeting a new social worker next week and I have another lovely social worker who meets with me, as well as a great GP who is always there for me.

I decided today that it is time to take charge of my well being myself. So as I am exploring new ideas I will keep a little diary here and perhaps it is useful for some other people that are struggling along the way.

I really want to look at the good sides of my life history. I have a lot of trauma to go through, but I don't want to forget the good times. So I made a random selection of photos of my husband. I want to make a scrap book and capture the love and the memories. In the book 8 Steps to Trauma Recovery there is a section about start with the end, or something like that. I made it through the trauma and I want to celebrate that I made it and capture the good times while I am feeling better. Over time I want to add my kids, my friends, my family, my uni years, my school years... whatever, one at a time, savouring the good times...

I know that just because I feel well today, tomorrow is another day. But it is ok, I will work on my ideas when I can. When I feel I can.

Big hugs to all x

332 replies

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In response to: Taking charge of my well being!

MazaritaSenior Contributor04 July 2016, 8:07 am AEST

Re: Taking charge of my well being!

Hi @Former-Member, sounds like you have things sorted out so well for the day. Inspiring! Great idea with sorting out what the major focus is with your team. Sleep issues are definitely something worth talking about at your appointment with psych. Hugs and best wishes that you are happy with the outcome at the end of the day!

In response to: Taking charge of my well being!

Unknown userMember04 July 2016, 8:07 am AEST

Re: Taking charge of my well being!

Thanks @BlueBay 💐

How are you and what are your plans for today?

In response to: Taking charge of my well being!

Unknown userMember04 July 2016, 8:13 am AEST

Re: Taking charge of my well being!

Thanks @Mazarita

On the train now and not so confident about the day anymore, but this too shall pass.

I think what makes me nervous is that for the next 4 hours I need to push all thinking of my mental health away and focus on the task on hand. Sometimes I don't know if I can muster the courage to go into meetings. And I'm the key person & need to speak and rationalise and be creative. Very opposite to sitting in a corner and rocking myself through flashbacks.

What are your plans for the day? Are you busy? I hope you can plan some relaxing time into your day.

Take care and big hugs xox

In response to: Re: Taking charge of my well being!

BlueBaySenior Contributor04 July 2016, 8:33 am AEST

Re: Taking charge of my well being!

@Former-Member

I'm not too bad, headaches have slowly got better. And my blood pressure is slowly going down which is a good thing.

Going to work very soon. Hoping to stay busy all day so I won't have time to think of the negatives.

Talk tonight. xxxooo

In response to: Re: Taking charge of my well being!

MazaritaSenior Contributor04 July 2016, 8:42 am AEST

Re: Taking charge of my well being!

You rock for doing these things though, @Former-Member! I'm so impressed with all you achieve despite your stark struggles. Four hours will go quickly I'm sure. Once you click into work mode, things will get better I think. Then there will be time to unpack some of the things that have been troubling you out of working hours.

By contrast, I'm not busy today and concerned for my depressed state of being. But there are at least things that I will be doing at home and I have a phone interview about a short film I made in the 90s that is being screened later in the year at an event. So, even if I am not productive with the basic things, there will be some meaning in my day and, yes, time for relaxing.

Best wishes again for your day. Looking forward to hearing how it all goes if you are up to sharing later on!

In response to: Taking charge of my well being!

DecadianSenior Contributor04 July 2016, 9:36 am AEST

Re: Taking charge of my well being!

Hi @Former-Member

Good work in that you haven't contacted a helpline ine two days - you are working it out for yourself

Sometimes I think I will ring Life Line - and ask myself why and what I want from them - and have sometimes held a conversation in my head and not had to

Maybe that's one way of calming yourself - to start talking to yourself - asking questions and then hearing what you want to hear - from the other side of your discussion - and keep doing this - one side of your brain asking - the other side answering

When it comes to mediation I often ask just what that is - and I suppose there would be as many answers are there are people asking - but I think positive internal dialogue is one method

Dreams - thrashing about - this is not peaceful sleeping - having a peaceful time before bed might help - but I think that these dreams are telling you something.. I don't know what - but I hope you get time to ask your therapists today

All the best

Decadian

In response to: Taking charge of my well being!

Unknown userMember04 July 2016, 3:35 pm AEST

Re: Taking charge of my well being!

Hi @BlueBay,

How was your day at work? I hope you kept busy and time was flying. I'm glad to hear you're feeling a little better, count the better days, so you can rely on them when the difficult times hit.

Hi @Mazarita, how was the interview for the short film? That's pretty cool you made a short film! Are you working in that industry?

Hi @Decadian, thank you for your explanation of helplines - I think playing my own helpline would be much easier than over and over explaining who I am and what my issue is... I already talk a lot in my head and sometimes out loud - but I assured my psych that this was not another voice it is just me trying to reason with myself...

My meeting with the psych was okay. I think I put a lot on the table. We only briefly touched on the dreams. I am always surprised how physically exhausted I am after these sessions. I'm shaking, physically and internally. But I got off my chest what I needed to and we agreed on a couple of things.

All I want to do now is curl up and cry. I need to learn how to remember I am here and now...

In response to: Taking charge of my well being!

utopiaSenior Contributor04 July 2016, 3:35 pm AEST

Re: Taking charge of my well being!

I hope today goes well for you @Former-Member. Busy day but hopefully you will achieve what you need to.
Dreams. At my sickest, I would have the most vivid dreams and nightmares. The feelings those dreams created would stay with me all day. Once I went to hospital and got put on sleeping tablets, things changed. I would get a solid 8 or 9 hours sleep. No waking in between. And when I do wake up now, I feel like I've really had a good sleep. Not tired all the time.
Before the sleeping tablets my brain wouldn't shut up (especially the negative self talk). It even had never dreams.
Restful sleep and a routine seem to be what help me most.

In response to: Re: Taking charge of my well being!

DecadianSenior Contributor04 July 2016, 5:43 pm AEST

Re: Taking charge of my well being!

Curl up and cry @Former-Member

I am exhaused after I see my therapist too - and sometimes weep for what I never had -

Most of the time I am okay with it - because my life has been interesting - but very much alone in spite of being out-going and charismatic when I am with other people

Last week when I was having trouble climbing up and down the huge heap of damp tissues I asked myself "What I am doing? Why do I ring Life Line and tell the same story over and over and over and over again"

It's time to stop - but not cold-turkey - it's as if I am telling my son's story and trying to tell myself what I do know - I did everything I could for him

People ring Life Line for different reasons - and sometimes we need to debrief

I know you are talking to yourself when you have these conversation - I can almost feel the activity between the left and right frontal cortex - and I have seen this on TV - during MRIs and PRT Scan - when the brain is working it lights up areas all over esp the frontal cortex -

It's not hearing those scary voices - in reality - I don't hear anything - I just know I am having a worthwhile person who knows the depths of my life and its trauma

I'm sure you do too

Decadian

In response to: Re: Taking charge of my well being!

BlueBaySenior Contributor04 July 2016, 5:50 pm AEST

Re: Taking charge of my well being!

Hi @Former-Member

My day went fairly quickly. It's just hard when you have a new employee and after a month is still asking how to do something i showed her the first week.

But anyway, today is over and I have tomorrow off. I am not going to go to art therapy tomorrow, i thought i would give it a miss and relax at home. I do have a doctor's appt in the afternoon to check my blood pressure.

Glad to see your session with your psych went well. It's good that you put stuff out there and let your psych know how you feel and how you are.

I agree with @Decadian just curl up and cry. I do most times after my psych session and my therpaist session. I think sometimes we are so involved with our emotions and talking in our sessions that crying is a huge release of emotions. For me it works.

Take it easy tonight @Former-Member xxx

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