Can’t take this hurt anymore

That is good @Razzle You really need that outlet to discuss all this and being in a situation where you trust the counsellor will also help. Hopefully you will be allowed to discuss what you need to and find some ways to cope a little better moving forward. I know there are no quick fixes but being allowed to talk through some of your pain is important.

@Zoe7 Yeah it will be good to talk things out in the open, get another perspective.

It will @Razzle and hopefully you can get some strategies to deal with it all also - especially when you are feeling like it is getting on top of you again. Let us know how it goes on Thursday Hon

Do you have any plans for tomorrow?

@Zoe7 Not much planned, except there isn’t much food left in the house so I’m going to have to head into town at some point and do a grocery shop. Might be nice to get out of the house for a bit

I have to do the same tomorrow in between appointments @Razzle I did a small shop on the weekend to get me through to tomorrow - looking forward to getting paid and getting more of what I need. It certainly may be good for you to get out of the house. Treat yourself while you are there Hon. I occasionally get chocolate covered donuts as a treat ...yummy 🍩

@Zoe7 there’s still a tonne of Easter chocolate here to get through, don’t think I could go anything sweet as a treat at the moment. There’s a park in town, might sit for a bit there if it’s a nice day. There could be thunder storms - which I love watching, but from inside the house not out in the open.

I used up every last vegetable tonight, even had to hit the emergency pack of frozen peas, we rarely eat frozen veg so grocery shopping is a must.

The thought of driving to town let alone shopping is filling me with dread already. I have no motivation to do anything at the moment

Sometimes when we really need to do something it forces us out and about as well @Razzle and that can become a distraction as well as a necessity. I think you having to go out tomorrow is a really good thing for you - just to break up the monotony of your days at the very least.

I love thunderstorms too but much prefer them when I can see and hear them from inside the house - not fun getting stuck in them when driving or out and about

I have no Easter treats left - only had a few of them to start with though. I might even get some donuts tomorrow

I also have DBT and pdoc tomorrow so will be a bit of a draining day - that is where the donuts come in - as cookie monster says "they are a sometimes food" and some times they are good for a little self-care

@Zoe7 Sounds like a tough day for you, hope you feel ok afterward. It used to take days to recover from my sessions with my councellor, sometimes I used to sit in the car and stare out the window for a couple of hours before I felt safe enough to drive home.

It used to be so hard to talk about the really horrible stuff, but now that he knows it all we don’t really get into specific details. Every now and then we have to go there, that knocks me around for a few days, but lately our sessions have been about connecting the appropriate emotions to situations - I’m really bad at that. I guess that’s not helping me now

That is an area that I think we need to continue to work on @Razzle especially when there is history of trauma and we have hidden our emotions so much to get through each day. Your counsellor seems like he is a great support though and you have worked through a lot. Part of that is learning to identify your primary emotion and finding ways to be able to deal with what you are feeling - not at all easy but with A LOT of practice it can help.

I get those really tough session - when I was previously seeing my psych (before I had a break) we delved into the really tough stuff and I found I couldn't handle it. With the help of my GP and pdoc - and DBT - I have now got to a stage where I try not to look back as to do so is just too painful. There are times when that all comes back and hits me hard - especially with nightmares - but I am learning to deal with those moments a lot better - it has taken a lot of time and a lot of therapy though.

@Zoe7 It sounds like you have some good supports around you too.

I understand the nightmares, although I have only had a few, but they really got me rattled. I feel like I am only new at this, I’ve only been seeing my councillor 1 on 1 for about a year, although I have been seeing him for couples councelling around 18 months. There’s still a lot swirling around my head that hasn’t been sorted yet. It’s a long process