Can’t take this hurt anymore

It can be a long process @Razzle but you certainly seem like you have the right counsellor to do that. With such complex issues to work through you do need to have that trust in your support people and I am really glad you have that with you counsellor. Knowing a little about what you have discussed it also shows me that you have strength - because these things are so hard to come to terms with ourselves let alone discuss them with someone else and then further work through everything associated with that.

We are both very lucky to have the supports around us that we have and even more so that it actually helps. Keep on that journey Hon - you are doing great

Thanks @Zoe7 ❤️❤️

You are so welcome Hon - I'll check in with you tomorrow. Hope you get your shopping done and that thunderstorm comes for you to enjoy @Razzle

@Zoe7 All the best for tomorrow too, I hope it all goes well

Thanks @Razzle I'll let you know how it goes

Hi @Zoe7 Hope your appointment a couple of days ago went well.

Had a couples session yesterday, spoke about my situation, didn’t really resolve anything, I don’t think I can resolve anything, it is what it is.

One thing I did find out, I am seriously on a different level to my husband as far as our relationship goes. He thinks everything is all roses, that we’re all fantastic and all our problems just don’t exist. I don’t even know what to think anymore

Wow @Razzle That seems a pretty huge gap between what your husband thinks and where your thinking is. Does he have any idea about how you are thinking? DId you have a chance to voice some of your concerns in counselling?

@Zoe7 We actually share a few concerns as far as our son and the baby go. There’s still a few issues I’m concerned about that he’s not overly worried about.

As far as the both of us are concerned, it’s like now that we are dealing with this issue, everything else is in the background and not important, like it doesn’t exist. It’s as if he can’t deal with more than one issue at a time. And I have voiced these concerns - for around 18 months in these councilling sessions and at home, I don’t now anymore how I’m supposed to make him listen.

That is super tough @Razzle I don't know how much more you can do either apart from continuing to voice your concerns in these sessions until he does get it. Does your counsellor recognise what you are saying and have any input that can help you get your point across Hon? It is good that you both have some similar concerns with your son and his daughter but that ultimately needs to be up to your son to resolve as well. You can only control what yuo can and what your son does it seems is out of your control - not easy to live with at all but it really is something he needs to deal with. If he wants to have a relstionship with you and the same for his daughter then he is the one that needs to stand up and make that happen.

@Zoe7 yeah our councilor can see what’s going on, he does what he can to make my husband understand what the issues are, I think he must feel like he’s beating his head against a brick wall too sometimes.

As far as my son goes, I’m always here for him, whenever he needs me I’ll be there. He does have to sort out what he wants, I can’t do that for him. I’m stepping back from all of it for a while. I have no feelings of attachment to the baby, it sounds cold but I feel nothing. And I don’t want to get attached to her if we’re going to be no part of her life.

Im tired of being built up just to be torn down, it happens all the time over and over again. I’m all about protecting myself from now on, it’s not going to make me popular with the people around me, but I have to do it for my own health and sanity.