Can’t take this hurt anymore

@Razzle I can feel your pain through your posts about this. I would be distraught too.

This might be a solution for you if you feel up to it at some point. It might give the other grandparent a rude shock as well. It’s an article on the right of the grandparents

https://www.google.com.au/amp/amp.abc.net.au/article/9855124

thinking if you through this incredibly heart wrenching experience 💜🤗

This is an incredibly tough position for you to be in @Razzle and none of it seems at all fair on you, your son or your grand daughter. You have every right to feel as you do being held back from sharing in this joy - none of this situation is okay. I understand that you no longer want to enter into the mind games or lies being told and that they are having an effect on your relationship with your son as well - that is unacceptable Hon.

I definitely do not have any solutions for you here @Razzle but a lot of love and listening ears so you know you are not alone here.

@Razzle You're in a difficult position, and I do feel your pain. I would say nit it in the butt as soon as possible. You and your husband need to stay strong and work together as a team. Unfortunately this not uncommon for this to happen but it does cause a lot of hurt in families and conflict.

I would have dicussion with your son and talk to him and to stay in touch with him. You need to talk about wanting to have realtionship with the grandchild and your son and perhaps daughter in law. Its quite a touchy issue when involving in laws.

But in saying that, you need to have a life of your own too that way it might lessen the hurt but always keep your door open to your son and grandchild. The mother and other grandparent are only looking out for themselves. Its in the Grandchids best interest to have people in their lives that care about them and love them- its so important in their development. I hope I have not said the wrong thing. But your son needs you too- keep your door open to him..

Thanks @Teej I do know we have rights, I knew long before this baby was born that we’d end up here. I read the article you included in your comment, thanks for that, there is a lot more involved than what I had originally thought.

I know I’ll have to go down this road eventually, but I can’t deal with all that just now. I can’t handle anything at all right now, I just want to disappear and not feel like this anymore.

Thanks for your support @Zoe7

@oceangirl we have been trying to keep the communications open with

our son, it’s so hard to speak to him privately. He and his partner and the baby live with her parents under their roof. When we call him he has his phone on speaker and the family are

listening in. He has to go along with the lies because they are listening in, so we have to tread carefully so as not to put him in a terrible situation.

We know they are lying, he knows we know they are lying, but we just can’t speak to him on his own.

The latest text that pretty much told us we are out of the picture came from our sons phone, he was able to speak to us for a few minutes today and admitted that he didn’t write or send the text, his partner had done it.

I will always be here for my son, but I have to step back before I harm myself, and that thought is with me all the time at the moment. My marriage has been in trouble for years, and it’s disintegrating at a fast pace now. I don’t have my husbands support, I feel like I’m out here floundering on my

own. I don’t think I can do this anymore.

@Razzle You have our support to help you get through this Hon. It is incredibly difficult for you at the moment and I hear that you feel very much alone in all this. It is good that you were able to talk with your son and know tht the message was sent by his girlfriend. Having that contact with your son is super important - even if it is just a little it does show him that you are there for him - especially now that he is being 'kept' from you. It must also be so hard for him - being torn between his child and his family - no-one should have to make that decision.

As for how you get through this - that is one day at a time and with support. What support do you have around you - someone you can talk to ...a friend, psychologist etc.? It is really important that you do not try to handle all this on your own. Of course we are here for you also and will provide whatever support we can

@Razzle That is such a tough situation to be in. I don't know what to say. How long has your son and partner been together? Are they married?

It sounds like a very controlling relationship and I feel sorry for your son. But I think he needs to be able to stand up for himself. He should be able to do as he pleases too and talk to whoever he wants to. Its quite an unhealthy situation. And I know you know this.

I am not sure of the lyes they are telling because thats really none of my business. But thats horrible and that is not okay. Surely, your son could ring when he goes out by himself. It seems to be a lot of jealously and insecurity happening.

I am sorry you feel so alone and floating on your own. Is there anyway you and your husband could repair the relationship. You just never know- tell him you need his support.

Thats a lovely message @Zoe7

Thanks @Zoe7 I see a councillor for both marriage counselling and CSA. He also knows what’s going on with the baby. My last session was a few days after the baby was born, I see him again this Friday with my husband for couples councilling. There’s too much going on in my head, everything is slamming me all at once and I’m losing it. I’m going mad