why can't I cope longer?

Love that you have baby Java finches bringing you joy @Adge. Good idea hosing down the aviaries re heat 👍

Hope those ignorant selfish neighbour's + Boom Boom speakers give it a rest soon. What a pain.

Yes, I think you should ring your brother briefly, let him know he's not forgotten, even if there's not much you can do. I understand the reluctance to get involved.

Pitty the heat gets to you so bad, can you move south? or the high country? It was only max of 14 here today, really cold wind.

That's a great idea... calling them mere "relatives" when they don't act like family. Gonna adopt that one 🤔👍

My mum was like yours by the sounds, scared everyone. But her passing last year seems to have ignited some strange behaviours in my brother's.

My sister wanted full control of dad and the estate, wouldnt even consider JOINT guardianship with me. Apparently she "can't stand me" go figure... So, she shot herself in the foot and quite peeved that I made sure PUBLIC TRUSTEE have control instead for everyones sake. So sick of them.

I'm sorry your family damaged you too Adge 💜

Have a good night (ear plugs)

(((Hugs))) back atchya 💜

@Former-Member 💐💕

@Former-Member @Adge hey so sorry your families are difficult. It is very tough situations. Mine is as well. Still try to recover from the intrusions my father did to me. The symptoms fluctuate . Feel vulnerable and sad often. And sort of broken in a broken family.Just resting by myself. It is good that I feel kind of safe for the night. @Former-Member you are so strong.lol admire you. @Adge really glad to hear your birds. Take care for the night.

Hi @Meowmy Glad to hear from you.

Very sorry to hear that your childhood & upbringing was tough too.

Yes recovery does seem to be a lifetime process - especially when trauma was from family members or relatives.

Have a good evening.

Adge

@Former-Member hey hope you are having a good day. Take care.

Hi @Meowmy , I'm happy someone gives a hoot enough to check in with me, thank you. I'll be ok. November s a difficult month with my departed girls birthday 25th. I go a bit strange at his time... lost. Cancelled my last two therapy sessions. Its batten down the hatches time. Just gotta get through it. Wish I wasn't alone though, but I am. My son still hasn't returned my call Sunday... So be it. I'm done being treated like crap, the crap is on the crappers, I'm not wearing it anymore.

Survived the house inspection today... without the dog rescue... "just thoughts" after all, as you said. Actually, today I had to go on a roadtrip - it was amazing. Accept the wind near blew the van off the road a few times, and the dust... crazy orange. Was out 6hrs... but glad to be home.

I went to an old town where my mums wforfatgers came from. Ive always been drawn to this area. Its unnerving to see places and buildings I've never seen yet remember. Its like I've been there before. An abandoned old church evoked sudden excitment within gasping "it's still here" Quite surreal. And the same when I saw the school "I went here" .Raises so many unanswered questions that I just not quite sure what to do with. Maybe with my mum dying and my siblings rejecting me, maybe I'm just desperate to find some roots, some sense of belonging somewhere, some kind of heritage. I donno. Hurts my brain. It excited me today, and that's energising and life giving and, well, those times are far and few between, real to me. .

At the cemetory, On a headstone of another lost 13yo girl, the closing words from her father to God - "so be it"

It is what it is

What a day 💜😢