why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member 💕

hello @Former-Member

You have been through so much ..given so much loving and caring support for your parents....

criticised for every support that you have given..

this is so common and often those who criticise do so out of guilt..

that does not make it any easier..

you do not need to question the loving support that you gave your parents ..

stand strong in your love and care that you provided...nothing can change that

others can protest...

that is their predicament not yours..

do not stop believing in yourself because others question... you are strong

a distant acquaintance..

💜

Thanks @Sophia, @Faith-and-Hope. Its flattened me, SI is really bad, and I dug up the means. But will sleep on it. Bad headache

Hi EOR,
I'm not sure what's going on for you that has you feeling so flat today. I'm sorry that you've been thinking of suicide. Taking a bit of a rest and sleeping may well get rid of the headache and help you to see things a bit differently. Please do reach out for support to keep yourself safe if that is necessary and I will email you shortly to check in with you that way.

Take care.

Thank you @Former-Member , I just took phone call from a friend who prayed with me, and told me I'm too precious to die (wow, go figure). Can't stop the tears and have a migraine so took a pill for that, closed the blinds and will have a sleep. Its nice to have got some support here too. Thank you 💜🌷🦉

I'm glad that some prayer and a conversation with a trusted friend has helped. Rest well @Former-Member.

@Former-Member ... so pleased to hear you're okay. Really happy that you took that phone call from a friend. She's right too ... you are way too precious to die. Yes I figure they are spot on about that. You are precious, a very good soul, one who has suffered way more than she should ever have needed to. I hope that pill does the trick for othe migraine. Tears unfortunately make headaches/,migraine worse I find. Anyway have a good rest and I hope things look a little more rosy upon wakening ... precious lady. You deserve all the support you get ... plus some. Keep little Georgia close by you too.

Sherry 💕

Hi @Former-Member I'm thinking of you (but this is me)....

Aww shucks, that's cute @Adge thanks for thinking of ke. Yeah, we're kindred spirits in the low energy department 😴 Had to take lots of breaks today. Need to build stamina and start walking again, somehow. Got down after my neighbour / new friend died, shifted everything. Nee counsellor is a disappointment. What did you do today? How's our birds?

II Go another bad email letter from toxic bro2 yesterday. He even called me a cnt:nauseated_face:, who does that to their sister? Its like he doesn't see me at all but some hidious creature from hell he must destroy. He scares me. I'm even scared to go visit dad now. Maybe he hates himself, not me, it's awful, so irrational. Not sure how to get him to back off. Good thing is I must be stronger because I'm not crying my eyes out this time. Learning O not reqc has been my biggest challenge. Know you understand re your own family. How's that brother of yours managing on his own? Life is hard, hey 🐦💜☔

@Former-Member

@Sherry, love that saying you posted above. Really spoke to me. Have you had to evacuate yet? Hiwvl's hubby coping with the fire crisis around Yas? Had it triggered his anxiety? Hope he's words are kind to you the wk. 💜💜�

Yes life is hard, for us both (I think) @Former-Member

What your bro said is just horrible, totally unacceptable. It would really hurt, & is no irrational (& uncaring).

My baby Java finches are so cute - with their little heads all poking out through the nestbox hole.

They're very curious about what's outside - one almost fell out, whilst looking out.

It was so hot today (40C), it knocked me for six - plus my neighbour's Boom Boom speakers (all day) driving me nuts.

Now they're having an all-night party (No thanks).

I hosed the 3 aviary roofs, to cool the birds down - I don't want to lose those baby Javas (or any birds).

My bro is in a bad state, since going home. They did not provide any extra support.

He has extensive scarring, & is losing mobility & body flexibility (as a result) - just as I feared.

I should chase him up (contact) - I've been so exhausted, that I just haven't.

My fatigue is worse in Summer, or as the weather heats up - my body just cannot deal with it.

My family - or relatives I call them, because I don't consider them family. They're totally weird.

My Mum in particular, does not take responsibility for anything she did (as a parent) - even though it was emotionally abusive. Severe childhood neglect, my Psych calls it (plus SA, EA, & PhysA).

Have a good night, I've goto go to bed (even if I don't sleep from neighbour's noise).

Hugs (((())))

Adge