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why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor31 July 2021, 7:57 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member @Appleblossom

🌻🌻

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor31 July 2021, 10:03 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hello @Former-Member

Drifting off to sleep and I thought of you and the cupboard. Have you had time to clear the energy yet?

How are you doing, are you ok?

Brought you some flowers for your home.

Night EOR 🌷

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Emelia8Senior Contributor31 July 2021, 10:10 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Worried about you @Former-Member and sending some love and light to you and little Georgia Girl. 🐶💕🙏

Please take care.

Emelia

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember31 July 2021, 11:19 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks for caring @Anastasia @Emelia8 ... I've been really triggered (in pain) had some coinciding powerful waves of SI - but holding my own (it's so tempting to give up with such emotional pain, even had to breathe it out a few times, ouchy.

Need sme white sage for cupboard An... haven't been able to do more than sun it really, not sure I'll handle those images just yet.

Bit worried about my boy in Brizzy lockdown again, he has asthma (my girl died from asthma). Such a bother this CoVid.

@Eve7 @Thanks for your lovely post yesterday too @ - thinking of you re Brizzy. 💙

Take care guys, talk tomorrow 💙

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor14 Aug 2021, 11:57 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hello @Former-Member

I haven't got much in the tank but wanted to drop in to say I see you.

The smoke detector situation is ridiculous, I am happy you are clever enough to sort it out yourself to keep yourself safe.

Hope your ok.

Lockdown here just seems to be the "gift" that keeps in giving 😔

Take care sweetheart 💗

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember14 Aug 2021, 1:24 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Understand, Haven't forgotten you either @Anastasia and wishing you all the best. Everyone seems frayed round the edges of late. Life is hard atm. All these NSW towns being mentioned. I worked 12month contract in Broken Hill Health Care system back in the 80s, travelled few times to&fro to Sydney. Know it well. Like 'home' more than Qld is for me. Had hoped to C more of my son here but they're restricting regional travel still. My son's happy playing games on his day off anyway i guess, just miss him that's all.
With smoke detector (mentioned in worry thread), no surprise the boss didn't turn up to finish the job this morning as planned, and has both contacted me. If only they knew how much i hate tradies coming into my space. Yes, glad I'm more gifted with common sense lol Are you NSW? Hope @Emelia8 is ok 🤗💙

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor14 Aug 2021, 1:49 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Yes one of the strict LGA's @Former-Member

No fun here at all...

Hope you can see your son soon 🙏💞

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor26 Aug 2021, 10:14 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

😭😭😭😭

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Emelia8Senior Contributor31 Aug 2021, 3:33 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Dear EOR

I hope you may find this message and know I am thinking of you.

I was so sorry to log on a few days ago and discover your account closed. I already miss you, and truly hope and pray that you are okay.

Sending best wishes and a hug to you. Always in my heart dear lady.

Emelia 🙏💞😊🐶

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor31 Aug 2021, 11:44 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hello EOR,

I just want to say hello and let you know I have you in my thoughts. I miss you very much and hold hope that you are doing ok. I'm so grateful for all of the times you prayed for me and my boy. That was very special and I hold a place in my heart for you. I do hope that you return when you feel safe to do so. In the mean time take care of you 🙏

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