Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

2720 replies

731 - 740 of 2,720

1...73 74 75...272

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember06 Sept 2019, 9:19 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Faith-and-Hope 💜 I see you there. Hope you survived the week ok. And planning something for tomorrow?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor06 Sept 2019, 9:40 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Trip to Bunnings for some art stuff @Former-Member, and need to fix a broken nail before it’s infected. I also have an assignemt due in on Sunday night, so will have to keep ticking over.

Hahaha I have dozed off three times while writing this post .... think I better go to sleep.

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

MaggieSenior Contributor07 Sept 2019, 5:09 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member Sorry I dropped out yesterday. My diagnosis......DID.....hate that one.....CPTSD....hate that tooo........severe depression and anxiety......OCD.....anorexia ..I’ve dropped the others I though just labels.

Yes I do live alone with my furry companion. I don’t have friends, and had a husband, they all left together and seem to keep leaving. I choose not to make friends now, I don’t trust people.

Good on you for having a shower. Hope you get to the chemist today, or before you run out of meds. Planting a few bulbs ✔️✔️ Yes, spring does help. Opening the doors airing everything. Unfortunately summer is my worst season. Though Tassie doesn’t have extreme heat, I still wilt, so energy levels hit zero. At the moment I’m struggling with RA pain waiting 9 mths to see a pain specialist still waiting. It affects depression being in constant pain. That’s a very long post from me, sorry, you don’t have to read. 💜💕☕️

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor07 Sept 2019, 7:27 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Morning @Former-Member @Maggie .... anyone else around.

I dozed off again before adding “Goodnight” last night ..... I have hubby-away-flat-as-a-pancake-itis at the moment ..... I can’t quite believe how quiet it is .....

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember07 Sept 2019, 10:14 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Good Morning!

everyone seems so tired lately. I blame the weather LOL

@Faith-and-Hope @Maggie @Zoe7 @Adge @outlander ...

Need to reply to your posts with the dignity they diserves but it will have to be later as I just realised I have to ease up the shop before MD 😯UGG! forgot again as engrossed in writing letter - a heavy legal matter. But have to fly ✈️

EOR & GG 💗💜💙💚💛🧡💗

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor07 Sept 2019, 10:17 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hope you get to the shop and chemist in plenty of time @Former-Member Will catch up with you later Hon

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor10 Sept 2019, 11:43 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

thinking of you @Former-Member hoping things are ok xox

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember10 Sept 2019, 4:23 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @outlander, i've been drafting replies to you all this last few days. Been in lala land or something... What you doing today? 💜💕

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember10 Sept 2019, 4:33 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Zoe7, yes, I got to the chemist on time. Had a great time in Bunnings, with furbaby (spent too much). Glad your cats ok, always worry they find bate or something. Is it still cold down there? Snuggling under the doona is the best place. Who won the footy? Sad about Danny Fawlty yesterday, hope it wasn't suicide 😞 Toby sounds good, like my Georgia, but she snores quite loud at times, hard to believe sometimes - being so little an all...

Good on ya for getting so much done on the w-end. You said "we play" - who? is that your town? You don't actually play yourself with your past injury do you? Why you buying "baby food" ? Has the weather picked up for you? We had lovely rain over the w'end, but lovely sunshine atm.

Thanks for your encouragement over my gardening, need that - I remember all the help you gave me with the chest of drawers too a couple of years back... You're good at that 💜

Did you find branch for thethe birdhouses? Might need to go bush 😯 all the best at the Art Expo. 💙💙💙

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, don't worry about dozing off, I do it too, it's hard when ya so tired. Glad you're taking "me" time with empty house. Know how that silence can be deafening.

How did you go at Bunnings? I was thinking of you the whole time I was there on the weekend, wondering where these "art supplies were" ? Went up every isle... and 😯 wow... there it was 😁 - I never knew. Do you use sperglue on broken nails? Works a treat for me. Hope you got the uni assignment in on time?

Hi @Adge, How you battling? Love it when you post and sorry to take so long to reply, been zoned out or something here. Can some of your "Irish Whiskey" or Irish Cream? Got some bad news today, shook me up 😞

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember10 Sept 2019, 4:34 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Maggie, so sorry it's taken days to answer your very heartfelt post. Don't know WHERE I've been. bit of DID I think, I like your long posts - you really opened up and connect, and I appreciate how hard that is when we're so vulnerable. You have much going on, so it's any wonder your so tired (like me), I get it. That's so slack that you have to wait so long to see a specialist for your pain. Physical pain sure compounds our mood, so be gentle on yourself. Hope your GP can help in the meantime. Don't worry about dropping out on the forums, I do it all the time and feel bad but we're all human and its a good reminder that we all live in the real world too.
Sorry you don't have hardly any friends irl, and lost trust to care much... I can relate to this a little, just seems too hard to bouce back some times, but keep your heart open so our don't miss those rare diamonds that do come.
Living alone has its pro's & cons, just gotta build on the positives... It takes work, and organisation and focus... Sheesh, i feel tired just typing that lol I am hoping to get all my craft & sewing stuff set up soon, and get creative again. Do you paint or something?
Wow, your diagnosis... there's a lot there 😞 don't blame you for hating those labels, I'm not sure they're that helpful for us. How did you get the DID diagnosed, I disassociate a lot, and have huge lapses sometimes. Dr says it's the cPTSD / A-Depression... I got lost at the shop once, it was aweful.
What you up to today?
Sending hugzz 💜💕

731 - 740 of 2,720

1...73 74 75...272