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Something’s not right

why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

You have been with me for so long over this journey @Former-Member - no matter your occasional absence or changes of names - what I have always found is your warmth and honesty and I value you as a forum friend also Just wanted to let you know that Hon

Yes me and footy are pretty close lol - I do love my footy whether it be AFL, NRL or soccer. Have always been sport mad and played a lot of different sports before my injuries stopped all that. I was born in the wrong era - I would have loved to play footy but that wasn't an option when I was younger. We had a few women's matches over a few years but it wasn't an organised competition - just something organised by the club for fun (btw it was competitive and we certainly wanted to beat the teams we played lol).

I lost interest in shows like The Voice - especially when they brought back previous contestants and made it more about their stories than their voice. I have seen a little of Australia's Got Talent but not really interested in that either.

I do like my ABC crime shows - especially the British ones but there are not many of them on at the moment - several finished last week for the year.

Been doing some planning later this afternoon and it is getting there. Got to organise a few things later - and print out some things tomorrow - but I have a little time off to do that. Still have some marking and sorting of groups to do tonight but that won't take too much brain power so I am not bothered that I haven't done it yet.

The rain has just started here so I am glad I got the washing in when I did. Housework never ends hey!

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Aww, made me tear up. So good to have nice things said. Hey, do you like
Criminal Minds or
Rosemary & Thyme?
Death in Paradise
these are good.
Must say, a new show...
The Rookie (? Spelling) Monday is pretty good... Zbut not sure if I just have a little crush on Nathan Fillion :face_with_rolling_eyes:lol

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Former-Member No my energy has not picked up, even lower over this weekend.

I don't really have an active or favourite thread - I'm just not writing much (or often) on any thread.

The ones that I write on the most (still not much) would be Hot Choc & Long Rave (probably).

Always good to hear from you.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member 😍💐

I do like Criminal Minds, Rosemary and Thyme and The new one The Rookie (and yes maybe a little crush on Nathan Fillion too lol). Never really got into Death in Paradise but like Shakespear and Hathaway and Father Brown. Loch Ness just finished but that was good too. Been a couple of good Aussie ones on this year too - especially liked Harrow. Been watching Life is Murder too - love the female klead in that one.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Humm, a few I haven't heard of there Zoe7
OMG, just watching a huge disability choir onbAustGotTalent, "FindYourVoice" just beautiful 💜

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

We have a bottle brush tree full of hundreds of butterflies at the moment @Former-Member , @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope , @Adge @Maggie

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Most of them are on ABC @Former-Member but have finished for this year. I have just flipped over to AGT but missed the choir. Will look it up Plus 7 online tomorrow.

Got all my planning for tomorrow completed and a little for Tuesday. Need to go in early to do some printing and photocopying. I also need to be up early to get the things I need to plant seeds tomorrow - part of our Science unit. Too late tonight to get everything from outside (and it is still raining). Will pack some things into the car tonight so I don't have so much to do in the morning. Still have to do the kids spelling words for this week but that won't take too long.

Have you got any plans for tomorrow?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

awww how beautiful @Shaz51 🦋

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Sounds lovely @Shaz51 I don't get to see any Butterflies much.

I remember whole gorges & valleys full of butterflies - in the NT as a child, in the 1970's.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

That would have been amazing to see @Adge

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