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why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

2720 replies

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor12 July 2019, 5:39 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member 💙💙💙

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember13 July 2019, 11:24 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @outlander, @Faith-and-Hope, #zoe7 , @@

@Appleblossom @ @Adge,

I survived yesterday and spent a 2nd day pretty much 'in bed' watching movies.rf

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor13 July 2019, 11:26 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member 💞 sometimes surviving is all we can do and that is ok

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor14 July 2019, 12:09 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I am in an energy slump at the moment @Former-Member @and spending a lot of time curled up in bed. I have uni commitments this week, so I am going to have to get up and into it from Monday .... but Monday is not here yet .... so I am staying in bed.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor14 July 2019, 12:19 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Knowing both of you @Former-Member and @Faith-and-Hope

Ladies who get going when the going is tough ... you need the rest and will start moving soon enough ...

Hugs @outlander

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember14 July 2019, 7:47 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @outlander 💞 surviving is 'OK' i guess... Needed the reminder 💐
@Faith-and-Hope, i so relate to "ENERGY SLUMPS" & sleeping days away. Does your jet-lag take a while to settle? Wouldn't help. I was so delighted way back when I covertly read you were doing uni studies. I hope you become an art teacher, your mum would be so proud 🌻 Hope you can stay awake through lectures and study 😳 by Monday / tomorrow 🤪
Two days in bed is my limit before I push myself to get moving, even if it hurts. Sunny morning Oday helped 🌞🌀

Aww thanx @Appleblossom, it's true, things do tend to run in cycles should bounce back soon enough. Actually, after 2days pretty much in bed, I got a whole heap done: load a washing√ unpacked x10 boxes bags outa car✓ vacuumed✓ dishes✓ good meal✓ gardening - saw/pruned big dead bush✓ made up a song to God✓ and even took dog for a walk 😁🎉

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor14 July 2019, 8:02 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I don’t usually suffer much from jet lag if I get some sleep on the plane @Former-Member, and which I did, as long as I don’t nap in the first day after I land, and keep meals according to local time, going to bed “as usual”

a time the end of that first day. The last couple of times I have travelled haven’t work out that well though. Maybe cos I’m getting older, or maybe due to a whole lot of other possible reasons.

I try not to let it go past two days, but all this week I came home from uni and just went to bed. It used to be like this when my mr. was being really rants and ragey. Every time he went away for a couple of weeks the kids and I fell in this sort of heap for days. It’s felt like that again, but we spent a full month with him, then had a week’s break, so maybe that’s it, even though he is not as rants and eager as he was ..... plus time difference and season change ..... and get older.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor14 July 2019, 8:50 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Former-Member Your tag to me didn't work (previous post). I only saw it by accident just now, when I came on here.

Like you, I struggled through this weekend.

Too much stress last week, with huge plumbing (hot water) expense.

Then the only thing I had to look forward to this weekend (Date), got permanently cancelled.

Emotional setbacks & disappointments worsen my physical fatigue (from ill health) - probably because they trigger dissociation (from trauma)(as psychologist would say).

Hugs...

I'm thinking of you.

Adge

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor17 July 2019, 7:34 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember18 July 2019, 10:21 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

These birds on my roof woke me up this morning. But what a joy to watch them 🤗 I just made the flimsy birdfeeder yesterday, for the little birds 😗 but think I need something stronger :face_with_rolling_eyes:.

Thanks @Outlander, @ for the pretty flowers. What you doing today?

@Adge these emotional setbacks do seem to pull us down. Try do the things you enjoy more. A companion would be nice but it's not for everyone. I talk to The Holy Spirit all the time, and my dog. Do you still have JellyCat? The birds are a great distraction 4me too.

Well, Betta go get something done...

Big hi to @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Appleblossom , @Former-Member and anyone I forgot 💌

🦉🕊️🙏💜🌷🌺🌞

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