FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

why can't I cope longer?

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

2720 replies

371 - 380 of 2,720

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Former-Member ,

Thanks for sharing this, however to clarify we have not blocked you in any way - this seems to be a techincal glitch. The best action to take is to email us and we can investigate further for you. We really appreciate respectful interaction and will be happy to work with you to sort out what is happening here- we do not want you feeling unsupported. team@saneforums.org

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

hey @Former-Member
im sorry to hear how hard things are and how youve felt youve been treated. i love having you here

there seems to be a glitch happening within the forums of late. that pop up msg has been happening alot on here though. the other day it told me that i was banned from the site (i wasnt it was a glitch) and ive read others have said its come up they cant access the site cause they are in australia (which they are). hope this eases how you may be feeling atm, just wanted to share that it wasnt only you having some troubles with those sorts of msgs.

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Dear @Former-Member
I'm so sorry to see the message you were confronted with when you came to log on earlier today. That is upsetting indeed, especially when we come here each day to receive much needed support. However, I suspect this message is not because of who you are, but rather one of a series of technical glitches the Sane Site have been experiencing over the past week or so. I was one of the ones who could not log in last week, because the site told me it was only accessable by people living in Australia. Which of course .. I do. But the site thought differently and logged me out and would not allow me to log back in. Strangely enough I was able to log in using my mobile phone, but not the PC. I know a number of other people have experienced this too. For me, it has since been rectified, but it took a few days. And those days were frustrating in the extreme.

I hope that knowing this, will permit you to not allow this to ruin your whole day. 😊 And with luck, its been fixed by now as I note that your post was some 3 hours ago. I only just saw it now, as I was out for a dental appointment and grocery shopping ahead of my trip away tonight.

Also my apologies for the late response to your post to me of yesterday. I have had a busy couple of days and have not been on here as much as I normally would.

Ha ha ... yeah the marmalaide is all done and looks fantastic. I will give a bottle to our neighbour and another neighbour up the road who both keep an eye out for hubby. My energy levels are feeling very depleted now though.

Yes you would understand because its a bit of a long haul from Brissy to Sydney for you too when you were doing that. Did you drive or take the train? I'm taking the train because its a long drive without a relief driver, and I'm not comfortable driving through the city. Last time I drove on my own, I got so tired I almost ran off the road. So I dont want to risk that again.

Hubby has a great mate who lives right across the road from us. They have known each other for about 50 years now after they were in the Navy together. He will be checking on hubby a couple of times a day and also having him for most evening meals. I have done up all his many and varied medications all in the daily packaging and explained them all very carefully to him. Plus I will also phone him every day to check. Fingers crossed he doesnt miss too many doses of the most important ones.

Yes it is sad. I also have a brother who was involved in a tragic car accident a few years ago where he lost his 11yo daughter. He has been in a bad way since then, and I have been supporting him from afar through the worst of it. Though he now sees a psychiatrist and psychologist, and is on ADs to help with his SI. Sadly he and his wife suffered a miscarriage at 14 weeks gestation only a couple of months ago. They are now considering fostering a child, as they cannot go through the risks of a further miscarriage. They live near my parents as well, so it will be nice to see them again, along with my 2 teenaged nephews.

What do I do to help me cope .... you ask? I see a really fantastic psychologist at least once a month. She has really helped me through some really dark times, and its with her that I have done some trauma therapy including CBT, Exposure Therapy and EMDR. Other than that, I do some volunteer work in a nursing home nearby. That forces me out of the home and away from a quite abusive husband. I was working part time in admin and accounting, but had to quit that almost 2 years ago when hubby got so ill. Its important I have something for myself. Besides that I try to get to a pilates class once a week. Sometimes I get there and other times I dont, beit because of clashes with hubbys commitments or because I'm just too darned tired to go.

Yes I also reside on the Carers side of the forums. And I tend to flit from one side to the other, depending on which side of things is foremost in my mind. Sometimes its to do with my caring responsibilities and other times it more about my own ability to cope when PTSD triggers bring me down.

Glad to see you eventually ate yesterday and had your pills, put out the garbage and fed the dog. Sounds like you achieved quite a lot in fact. Well done. What sort of dog do you have? My Holly as per profile pic is a little mini foxy / chiahauhau cross. A delightful little thing she is. She will be chief minder for hubby in my absence. Thankfully hubby adores her too, so she will be safe with him.

Sherry 🌺

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member I am really pleased to see that @Former-Member jas been supporting you here over the last few days. I have been managing my wisdom teeth extration and off forum - lots of icing and rest over the weekend. There is still a fair bit of swelling but the pain has lessened. I did manage to get to work and that went okay. Laughing hurts and I did that a bit today - those kids can be really funny sometimes

I hope your day wasn't ruined - I can see how you would feel like you were being somehow excluded with that message so I am glad @Former-Member posted to you and that it was a site glitch and not personal. It does seem lately that there are lots of tech issues with the site so don't let that deter you from intercting here.

I personally love getting your messages I do hope you have had a good day - maybe unpacked a little more and got some of that hand washing done.

I will not be around much over the next few days but will look out for you when I am. Much love and some huge hugs for you Hon

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Ooooh @Former-Member I was really glad that you showed up again. I seriously missed you.

Sorry that you are upset by that sign. I have had it a few times. In the early days on the forum I would get paranoid about the technical programming and how they had set up the site, but I challenged a few of the words that were excluded by email and gradually built up a sense of what was coded and computer generated and so never took them personally.

Still when we are super vulnerable thats where our minds tend to go.

Hugs.

CandlesticksOwl plus friendOwls Nest by H Bosch

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Former-Member Yes that would be upsetting, to get that message.

I have trouble just navigating my way around the forum.

I was looking for your (this) thread, a few days ago - I couldn't even find it.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oh wow, here you all are, you haven't left me @Adge @Appleblossom @Zoe7 @Former-Member @outlander @Former-Member

I cried a lot after it (the timing re Tawney I guess), but just he last straw on top of some hurtful interactions from family this week. Lies and back stabbing, and being left out. Maybe paranoid, maybe "a normal reaction to an abnormal situation"

It helps Al lot to hear that nearly every one of you have had something similar happen. Really not good enough for a sight with so many vulnerable people about,

Meditated on my faith a lot today, how the love is still there and always will be, no matter what's happening...

And your posts confirmed it. Thank you 💜

Really tired so good night 🦉

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member youve got my support always xo
it can be really upsetting when msgs pop up seemingly without reason but im glad hearing its happened to others here too has helped. the tech team is working on the glitch though xo
im sorry about your hurtful interactions with family throughout the week. do you want to talk about it abit more?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @outlander, nice to see you. How's things? I best not open a can f worms and or go down rabbit hole discussing my earth family. I 'm taking a break from. Strange how just a tx from them hooks me in... I wish I didn't need anyone, it's so lonely without a supportive family.
When I found this rental after months of application declines, i was so relieved because I just needed to get away from them and REST.
Now I'm resting too much and death keeps coming to mind. But nobody would find me, nobody knows, unless I time it with rental a inspection lol just kidding.
myGov & C'lnk website shut me out after trying to update details... Now I worry they'll cut me off because I haven't told them... so stupid. Gonna have to go in but... so cold, just wanna stay under doona 😴
Rego is due too, need to go out to get that sorted in person too... annoying
Everything's an effort atm but guess it could be so much worse.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Evening @Former-Member

Thats ok i get what you mean by opening a can of worms when speaking about family. Its hard wanting their approval but knowing its unlikely youll get it huh. Wanting to be love and accepted (esp by those who are suppose to love and care) is normal and natural though. And yep taking a break can be a good thing.

Urgh technology. It sucks when they dont want to work! Hope you got centrelink stuff sorted out and your rego too. You know you can do your rego online?

371 - 380 of 2,720