why can't I cope longer?

💖💖💖

Thanks for the update @Former-Member , always good to see you. Hope the nesting process continues to go well and that you dont find yourself becoming too isolated in the new location. Any groups or clubs you could join there and mingle with others with similar interests? Hope to see you again soon.

Sherry 💕

Hi @Former-Member,

We have sent you an email to chat through this with you - no one hates you, we can assure you of that! We just want to work with you through ensuring there is transparency in the forums. Please feel free to respond to our email to discuss further via that channel 👍🏼

@Former-Member It is good that you are at the unpacking stage now and can build up your place as a home how you want it.

I understand that you feel like you are recreating yourself again here and irl but the move was necessary and could be a really good new start for you. As is concerned the forum - you are here and posting and whatever has gone before is in the past. Concentrate on the here and now as you deserve just as much support as anyone else. No-one here cares that you have 'reinvented' yourself. You have been posting as EOR for some time now and finding you place here again - that is all you need to do I am super happy that you came back and have thoroughly enjoyed our connection over the past few months - that means something Hon

I don't think anyone here has 'got sick of you' - we all have our own issues and things we have to deal with in our lives and sometimes it is necessary to minimise our interactions and involvement here - I am certainly doing that presently in only posting on a few threads. The fact that this is one of those threads means something to me and I hope it does to you too.

Been more than happy to share your journey with you over the last few months and will continue to do so when and as I can. That might not be everyday but I will continue to check in with you regularly because you matter to me

Hi @Zoe7, how are you? thanks for the reminder to live in the present. Means a lot to me that you're here, and the others who posted. I see no need to go more public here. They'll find me if they want to. I just trying to stay afloat.

Hi @Former-Member 💜

Keep floating my precious owl. Take care.

Sherry

Thanks @Former-Member , nice to be called 'precious' thank you. What are you doing this Sunday? I can't remember much of your history, can U briefly remind me who you are? Posts I've seen from you around are kind.

I'm not feeling well today, fuzzy heavy head or something. Another PJ day.

Haven't eaten yet, guess I should and take my pills.

Thanks for replying @Former-Member .

Oh I meant it in the nicest possible way, I assure you ... you are precious. By definition precious means .... of great value, not to be wasted or treated carelessly. Valued, special, esteemed. Thats you.

Today I have been throwing a few things in my suitcase ready to leave for a week long visit to aging and ailing parents. I will be taking the train, and its an 11 hour journey. Longer to get back because I have to stay in the city overnight due to connections not being very good. I leave a little after midnight tomorrow night. Besides that I have been making some marmalade from oranges, lemons and mandarins which we have grown and some we have been given. Needed to use some up before I leave. Good timing too because the last batch I made last year is almost all used up.

Ummm, not sure you really want to know all my history. But I guess I can tell you briefly and you may recall from some time back when we used to talk a bit. I suffer from PTSD as a result of a voilent sexual assault just over 23 years ago. Gosh is it really that long ago? You'd think I'd have gotten over it by now wouldnt you? I have had a lot of trauma therapy over the past 4 years, and I am a lot better than I was. But I have other traumas which have added to the PTSD since then. More recently I have become a carer of my husband who also has PTSD (from a military career) ie Vietnam and severe anxiety and depression. Over the last 18 months he was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer, followed quickly by a diagnosis of Parkinsons Disease and then autoimmune related issues including encephalitis. Its meant a lot of time in city hospitals for one thing and another. So he takes a lot of my time these days, and its really difficult to get away from home. I've been most of the week sorting out arrangements for him for the time I'm away this week. But my parents are both also suffering from serious life threatening illnesses and are both in their 80s. With hubby being so sick lately, its meant I haven not been able to see them much over the past 2 years. So I decided that there will never be a good time to go, so it might as well be now. I need to try to help them transition into accepting some home care, but they are stubborn independent old buggers, the pair of them, and keep refusing things which I put in place for them. So I figured if I was there, then they may accept someone coming in and doing things like meals, personal care and cleaning. I hope. Anyway ... thats me in a nutshell. And now back to you ....

So sorry you are not feeling well today @Former-Member . Nothing wrong with an occasional PJ day though, especially when its an overcast and miserable day like we have here today. Its a shame, because until today the weather has been brilliant ... warm and sunny. Not today ... and I have to admit I stayed in my warm snug dressing gown until nearly lunchtime.

I hope you have eaten since you posted a couple of hours ago? I'm about to go and put my marmalade into jars now, and then decide what to do for dinner tonight. I thought perhaps some chicken tenders which are of the frozen variety, plus some fresh steamed veges. Tomorrow I will do up a big batch of spag bol and there will be enough left over for a couple of meals for hubby while I'm away. He can heat that up in the microwave with little effort.

I hope you're feeling a little better by now EOR. And I am happy to chat if you'd like. Although I will be away from Monday night, and may not have much access to internet for the week. I'm sure @Zoe7 will check in with you at some stage. I'm sure she would have already but she had some wisdom teeth out on friday and was resting up over the weekend. If you're reading Zoe, I hope you're feeling much better by now and that the sore jaw has settled down. I know you plan to be back at work tomorrow, but please dont push yourself if you're not up to it.

Okay ... must go. Nice chatting EOR.

Sherry

Hi @Zoe7 😲ouchy! re wisdom teeth, hope it heals fast 💜

@Former-Member , that's a lot to carry, felt for you and honestly don't know where you get the energy to then go make marmelaid jam 😯👍 11hrs to our parents 😕 sheesh! I use to go from Brizzy to Sydney to my parents - kinda understand. Whose gonna watch after hubby while you're away? Its all so very sad - How do you cope? What do you do to feed your own soul amid such suffering? Are you on the carers side as well? Glad you found me here 🌷

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Yes, I have eaten and had my pills, twice in fact. Put the garbage out today, and fed the. dog. And started soaking washing - still need to get my w'machine outa storage, so have to hand wash for a while. Raining heavy since I started the wash :face_with_rolling_eyes: swept too, and sorted two boxes, but needed lots of rests. Thanks for askin' 💕

How offensive! this is what hit me just now as I seek support and going through RECENT POSTS. So much for acceptance & support. It's never happens before and I honestly don't understand moderators supporting this emotional abuse of Tawney. Why? Gonna be hard for this not to ruin my whole day. I don't understand.

@Appleblossom @Former-Member @outlander @Zoe7 @Adge

@Zoe7 @Adge @Faith-and-hope, @