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why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor15 Mar 2021, 5:30 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member Have read the original post (and those following) and also wanted to drop by quickly to let you know I am hearing you. Just got home from work so will come back later to reply more fully. Sending you massive hugs and love right now 💖💖💖

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember16 Mar 2021, 7:42 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Zoe7 @Anastasia @Emelia8 ... appreciate your posts. I'm better'ish now. Had exPhys today, got my exercise routine. Found a Cottage cafe & had quiche & coffee for lunch - thing is, the birds, there were little wrens bouncing around, and sparrows and even a willy wag tail. You'd love it @@ @Adge @ The pet shop had canaries this week. And so many finches you've mentioned. I wish I had birds again but planning a big roadtrip soon. I hope you're not angry with me Adge, don't mean to offend. Your party thread looks great. Hope you got to do something special irl too?

Thinking of you2 @Eve7 💙

It's cool here today, im under a doona watching tv 💙

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Emelia8Senior Contributor16 Mar 2021, 7:56 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Good to hear you got to ex phys again today and that you now have an achievable program. The cottage Cafe for lunch sounds nice @Former-Member . I think willy wagtails are one of my favourite birds ... such little characters, and lots of fun just to observe.

Im glad you are planning another road trip. Last I heard, you were saying it may be getting too hard. I guess this new exercise program has had some benefits already.

Its cooler here today too, in fact quite a chill in the air last night when I took Holly outside. And again this morning. I like it. 😄

Emelia 😊💞

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor16 Mar 2021, 8:21 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Former-Member Exercise routine sounds good - You sound very motivated.

Quiche & Coffee sounds perfect (Yum).

I bought Seafood Noodles tonight (1 day late) - As a Belated Birthday Dinner.

I had no energy yesterday (Birthday) - So things did not work out.

I could not/ did not go anywhere for my Birthday - After usual 40km round trip, into City for Appointment.

So if I can Go anywhere, or Do Anything Special - It will have to be later in the Week.

In Competition with St Patrick's Day (17th).

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember16 Mar 2021, 8:39 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Never mind @Adge, birthdays are meant to be dagged out for an entire week in my book. Do you like Green? Maybe you can COMBINE (not complete) with StPatrick's day, pretend it's all a show put on for you maybe ☘️lol

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Eve7Senior Contributor16 Mar 2021, 8:42 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks for the tag @Former-Member It’s good you’re feeling better.

Take care hun, You’re important.

💜🙏💜

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor16 Mar 2021, 8:59 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Green is good @Former-Member I have a Shirt that looks a bit like this (closes picture I could find).

It has bright White Hibiscus Flowers all over it.

A short-sighted Bee mistook the Shirt/ Flowers for Real Flowers (once) - It landed right in the middle of one of the Flower Pictures (on my Chest).

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember16 Mar 2021, 10:35 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Wear a green hat and you'll blend in nicely @Adge 🤣lol

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor16 Mar 2021, 10:42 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Very good @Former-Member Preferably I want to Catch that Lepracaun (very difficult I'm told) - Then he will give me his Pot of Gold.

That's the whole point in Catching a Lepracaun....

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

MazaritaSenior Contributor16 Mar 2021, 11:45 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Adge @Former-Member @Emelia8 and anyone around,

Adge: I really like that shirt. It's a beautiful green. I like to wear floral patterns and colours. I feel a bit cheered up by what I wear.

EOR: I don't think we've met. Hi. I like that you had a cafe treat around an appointment. I often do things like that when I go on my own to appointments, give myself some time for solo enjoyment while I'm out there.

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