Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

2720 replies

2,221 - 2,230 of 2,720

1...222 223 224...272

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Emelia8Senior Contributor05 Feb 2021, 11:22 am AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi there @Former-Member ... and I love the picture you posted above ... ie making the heart smile. 💕🤗

No, my hair isnt grey. They say that redheads dont go grey anyway, they tend to go a nice shade of white. But at 61yo I still have most of the original red/auburn colour, but have some white strands evenly distributed amongst it. So the original rich burgandy colour has faded a lot in intensity. But I quite like it, so have never bothered to disguise the colour. Even when I was younger, and hated my rich red hair ... I never bothered to change the colour. Then I started to actually like it from about my late 20's. I think it went from a bright carroty sort of red in my late teens, to quite a nice deep auburn. Now its fading, but still okay. As for your 'salt n pepper', I like that in people.

I am not taking anything for the inflamation pain, other than OTC analgesics if I need to. I prefer not to take anything. Although I do have anti inflams for my back and shoulder pain, but only take them when I'm desperate. Turmeric is a good natural supplement and I have taken it in the past, as well as fish oil. Although I was advised not to take it while undergoing radiation. I should start back on it again now though. I may help.

Ahh thats good you are now able to edit posts, although its a pain having to log out all the time in order to do so. I use my mobile most of the time too, but do not have any issues with editing posts when using it.

Are you happy with your new haircut? It sounds nice, and I'm sure it will be nice and easy care. Perfect for your upcoming road trip.

Holly is having a large lipoma lump removed from her neck/throat today. Its benign, but is growing quickly and has been affecting her breathing. Its hoped that removing it will remedy the situation as well as make her much more comfortable. But its risky because its in the same area as the windpipe, jugular vein and facial nerves. So I'm very worried about her. Its very much a waiting game as I wait to hear news, and be allowed to go and see her and hopefully bring her home later. Yes, you are so right ... its so hard to see our furbabies suffering, and not know what best to do for them. But she is only 12yo, aged but not exactly old. She is only a small dog and is in overall good health, so I'm hoping she will be around for a good 5 years or more still.

Sleep hygiene ... eek ... mine is very bad right now unfortunately. I'm pleased that you can recognise that yours needs attention, and I'm sure you will do something about it when the time is right. In the midst of traumatic anniversaries is not the time to do so. Meanwhile there is little to be gained by stressing about it. So you are doing the right thing there.

I hope your day is a good one, and that you are putting further plans in place for your visit to your son, the beach and your extended road trip. Do you have a departure date yet?

Sending you much love EOR, and a big hug. Cuddles for your Georgia as well. 🐶

Emelia 🤗💕🐶

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember05 Feb 2021, 3:06 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

EMELIA, so you're a fiery redhead

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember05 Feb 2021, 3:11 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I'm sitting at Bunnings cafe, wondering which Bunnings I'm at (town), where the exit is, wondering what I'm looking for, getting bum-seers from staff, started to break out in cold sweat, so at cafe with furbaby & both having drink in the garden. Think I'll go home. I'm in Qld right? :face_with_rolling_eyes:

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Emelia8Senior Contributor05 Feb 2021, 3:13 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Yes, thats right @Former-Member ... a carrot top, a bluey, a ginger, and all the other (incl some not so nice) names that redheads naturally get as kids in school. 😄👩

How is your day going?

Em 💞

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor05 Feb 2021, 4:26 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Adge Hard to find silver linings with so much going on and so much you need cancelled buddy You have had that nerve issue in your hand for a long time now so I hope they reschedule quickly and you can get it seen to.

Hi @Former-Member A trip to Bunnings with fur baby is my idea of bliss - small things hey

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor05 Feb 2021, 5:05 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Zoe7 Well some "Personal Silver Linings" (Gains/ Achievements) Will Do Fine...

I just need to find some....

No issues that I'm aware of @Former-Member How could you possibly do anything wrong (in Cyber Space), when you're not here in person?

Now my neighbours (who are Very here in person), are a Different matter...

With them it's "When can they actually be kind or thoughtful", & "Do something Right"...

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember06 Feb 2021, 1:35 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

My son's not happy ive delayed my eta from 1030 to 3PM (because I had syncopy, shouldn't drive yet, but not telling him that) but i have bathed the dog✓ packed car ✓ having a laydown till the faints & cold sweat leave ✓ then to shower. The Muscle fatigue gets to me. Maybe some agrophobic anxiety. I Might have to plan short trip this time, longer roadtrip another time, or I'll never get out the door.. Just not as good as I use to be 😢 God knows how hard we try 🙏

Hope y'all doing ok 💙

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember06 Feb 2021, 11:51 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Made it 🚘🛣️🚦⛽🛣️🌆🏬 and I think he's really glad to see me, as I him. Georgia dog and his cat got on, but keeping a constant eye on each other from a distance - quite funny to watch. My son's unit is immaculate (opposite to me) and it's nice to see him finally settled. We ordered in pizza, went up the rooftop at dusk saw all the lights etc and then watched a movie - on his big projector image on the wall 😯 and now I'm in the spare room with furbaby, after toileting her (in the street), trying to get to sleep, thinking of you guys. Such a big day, and such a dither getting away... Don't know how I ever survived city trips without GPS - it's like having God in the car with us. Good night 😴

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Emelia8Senior Contributor07 Feb 2021, 12:10 am AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

So happy to hear that @Former-Member . It sounds like a lovely afternoon and evening. I have no doubt that your son was happy to see you! Glad you and little Georgia have settled in nicely. And its good that your sons cat and your Georgia dog are keeping a respectful distance from each other.

Yes, its been a huge day for you ... but you got there safely and thats the main thing. You did it ! 🎉👍🌸 Oh yeah, I agree ... I'm dreadful in the city too, or even bigish towns. I could never manage without GPS. I get lost so easily. And if I dont know where I'm going, I'm totally useless.

Good night @Former-Member ... sleep soundly and be satisfied that you've done very well today.

Emelia 🌺💤🐶

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember07 Feb 2021, 12:16 am AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Emelia8 & for answering so promptly. Hope your little Holly is ok? Good Night 😴💙

2,221 - 2,230 of 2,720

1...222 223 224...272