FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

why can't I cope longer?

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

2720 replies

2,231 - 2,240 of 2,720

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Its a pleasure @Former-Member ... I got your tag as I was about to go to bed.

Holly is sore and feeling sorry for herself. But she is okay. And getting spoiled even more than usual. 😄🐶

Good night my friend. 💤💕

Em 🌷

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

So glad you finally made it @Former-Member and have had a good time with your son so far. Hope today is filled with joy for you both

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

He was working hard today and can be snappy but I'll go tomorrow. We've had healthy exchanges in between life's worries.
Kinda feeling needy here on the forums, forgotton - stupid I know.
My son wanted me to watch an animated movie called 'Soul' - was very phylosophical / deep... An animation so the sky was the limit with their imagination. We watched 'Lucy' & the day before 'Peppermint' - pretty good run of shows. And we've enjoyed pizza, walks around the block, he showed me his workplace (when he actually goes into the office) and I got to see him in action online working today. Was good. He's amazing, but yep, I am bias 🤗
Furbaby has been soooo good too. Waits to be toiletted - little walks down elevator & up the street and back. She wasn't eating much but today she did better. My son's cat still terrifies her... weird since she nearly took out a Great Dane walking by yesterday. I can't figure her out. Angel one minute ferocious Monster the next and fearful quivering nervous Nelly the next...

Anyway, gonna take something for this backpain.
😴 Night 🌜🌟

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Goodnight @Former-Member ...... lovely to hear your news.

💖💤

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Good morning @Former-Member 💜😊🐶💓

I'm very happy to hear that your visit with your son has resulted in some really positive and healthy exchanges between you. And how lovely that you were able to see your son's workplace and watch him at work. A mothers bias aside, I feel sure that he is very good at what he does, and you are right to feel proud of him and his achievements. You are clearly a very good mum and have done a sound job of bringing him up well. So kudos to you dear EOR.

Ahhh dear little Georgia ... what a little sweetie she is. Ha ha, I can well imagine her being a total wimp with the cat but a ferocious little monster with a large great dane dog. Her wimpiness with the cat may have something to do with the fact that she is aware that she is in the cats territory right now, rather than her own? And when you were both walking past the huge dog, she was protecting you, hence the bluff and bravado. Aren't they just wonderful?

Sorry to hear the backpain has persisted, and I hope whatever you took to relieve it last night, has helped.

Looks like you are back on the road today. Please do take care and take time to smell the roses. There is no hurry to get back home. Make this your time.

One final thing ... I was concerned about your Worry Room post overnight. Are you okay EOR?

Emelia 🌺🌼💞

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Former-Member

I am worried about you. Please check in when you can 💖🦋💖

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I have Peppermint recorded to watch one day @Former-Member 👍

So glad to hear you have had some lovely moments with your boy and you have gotten to see him at work - pride is 100% allowed in your boy Hon

Our fur babies can be funny at times - Tobes will chase Cat up the hallway but cowers when she turns to hiss at him then he runs back to me lol - pretty funny to watch

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Faith-and-Hope @Emelia8 @Zoe7 @Eve7 @Adge ... thanks for your posts, care and support. Don't worry about me, I'm ok. Don't remember writing that 'worry' thread post, must of had a bad moment sorry. But as you can see, by the photos, I'm out and about. I got brave & took the long way home after Brisbane.. I've spent the day discovering the Sunshine Coast, lots of driving. The first pic is decorated wall of a quaint little Cafe I found at the back of a florist, and just some views from top of carpark. It's an adventure, and GG is so well behaved. She has her bed under mine and snoring away atm 🤗

Finally settled, after a lovely Tai dinner out. I CAN hear the ocean waves outside, and spasmodic rain on the van roof - both relaxing. My back hurts 😟 but just took strong analgesia waiting for it to work. No radio or TV here, just you guys here online. Anyway, hope ya'all staying afloat. I'll post tomorrow's adventure too if you like. Got some amazing things at an Op shop today. Show ya them too if you like 🙂

Good night 😴💙💛

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Lovely pics @Former-Member and thanks for the update.

Happy exploring.

🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Good morning to you dear @Former-Member ... thank you so much for sharing some of your pictures. And yes, I would love to see some more pics of your continuing adventures of your roadtrip. I'm intrigued and very interested to hear or see what treasures you managed to pick up at the op shop yesterday. I know you love the op shops, and I hope that you come across many more during your travels.

Love the idea of a yummy Thai dinner and then the sound of the ocean and rain on your roof. Your little GG doggie sounds like a very willing and happy participant in your road trip adventures. It must be comforting to have her there with you. Sounds like you have things worked out very well with her bedding arrangements.

Does driving adversely affect your back pain EOR? It does mine I know. I hope a good nights sleep last night has seen you awaken feeling less sore and much refreshed. And ready to take the next step in your roadtrip journey.

Talk to you again soon, next time you check in. Meanwhile I'm sending lots of love and a little guardian angel to watch over you and keep you safe. Although I'm sure little Georgia Girl is doing a good job of that too, but perhaps she may enjoy a little helper.

Emelia 💞🐶😊

2,231 - 2,240 of 2,720