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why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor08 Jan 2021, 10:38 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

LOL naughty Jelly cat @Adge Cat is also still outside but she will come in when I go out to her. It is such a nice, mild night she can stay out there a bit longer. Does Jelly Cat roam at night or stay in the yard?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor08 Jan 2021, 10:48 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I never thought of a Diffuser as a Coping Tool before @Zoe7 Good point.

Now I can add the Diffuser to my "Coping Tool Box".

Would be nice to have something in the Coping Tool Box, that actually works (for a change).

I think Jelly Cat stays in the back or front yard (either), if she stays out for the night.

Which at least is something (she doesn't seem to wander).

My favourite Tortoiseshell cat liked to lie on my neighbour's driveway.

My neighbour is a reckless incapable driver - She insisted I remove a Shrub from the front Verge (2m away from her driveway) - Simply because she kept on running over it.

She ran over my Tortoiseshell Cat (Megsie died) - So I would rather my animals went nowhere near that neighbour.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor08 Jan 2021, 10:52 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oh @Adge That is heartbreaking. Bloody woman should not be driving at all if she can't stay on the road/drive way. My first cat was a Tortoiseshell - she was my baby too. They are certainly our little family

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor08 Jan 2021, 10:59 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

You had a Tortoiseshell @Zoe7 I grew up with a Tortie - They're my favourite cat.

My neighbour has a very Nasty Temper.

She's the type who does the wrong thing (eg running over Megsie Cat) - Then screams at you, & blames you for it.

Takes no responsibility for her own behaviour (or reactions).

Which explains why I do not feel safe at home, living on my own - It's not a nice neighbourhood.

Or at least I scored the worst neighbours known to humanity - even if there are other nice people, in this suburb.

My back neighbour is lovely, we're friends now.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor08 Jan 2021, 11:13 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I am so glad you have your back neighbour @Adge The others though seem to be self centred, disruptive and not at all nice

You should move to Tassie on a small country farm and have as many cats and birds as you like

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor08 Jan 2021, 11:17 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Sounds a Great idea @Zoe7

I much prefer Tassie's climate.

I'm a cool climate person - Living in a hot climate.

I've not been to Tassie in about 25 years.

My parents had friends living in Launceston- Then they moved to Hobart.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor08 Jan 2021, 11:34 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I love Hobart @Adge You are so close to so much whether it be the beach, the city or the bush. I love where I live too. I have a great neighbour next to me on one side - he is in his 70s and still works part time. He brings my bins in every week when I am at work which is so lovely of him. We have just spent the last few days cleaning up between our houses - his yard is a mess and it grows over my side so we have cleaned it all up. Tobes suervised lol.

I don't really know the family on the other side butI get on well with the neighbour over the side fence also. Over the back fence I have a half way house so the people change every six months.

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2021, 6:39 am AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Jan 2011 SEQ Floods refund on tv, coupled with best rain in as many years since, 10yrs... it's a trigger. My friends on Cairns holiday and my boy in lockdown. My treadmill broke already grr... mat folded under 😕 Warranty tech guy coming late next week to replace it. Just me and furbaby and bed. Staying in bed today, its cold. 💕🌻

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor09 Jan 2021, 10:42 am AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oh what a pain about the treadmill @Former-Member Sounds like staying in bed with fur baby is what you need today Hon

Good morning also @Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2021, 11:14 am AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks Zoe7 - are you functional today?

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