why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Former-Member ,

Thank you for sharing and reaching out today. Sounds like such a complex and tough time for you right now. I can really hear you feeling very lonely and isolated at the moment. The forum community are all here with you during this tough time. Please take care and reach out if you are feeling unsafe. We all very deeply care and appreciate having you around.
Thinking of you during this tough time,

Radius

Oh @Former-Member I am so sorry you have to deal with all of this and I wish I could just come and get you but I’m sending love and hugs and sitting with you.

Big love hun

❤️💚🙏💚❤️

My dear @Former-Member 😔💞🤗

Thank you so much for sharing all that ... you are very brave. There are so many emotions and past/present hurts expressed in that post EOR. I appreciate your honesty and trust to have shared so much.

I am so sorry your feelings and needs are not being considered by your son. That must be so hurtful to you. I feel your pain around all that, as you expressed it so clearly in your post. I'm sorry too that you are no longer able to spend Christmas with your new friend visiting church and sharing lunch. That is an unfortunate consequence of your sons visit being on again and off again and back on again. I hope you can arrange an alternate time to go to church and share a meal with your friend. I feel sure she will understand why you have had to change plans. Is it an option to invite your friend to share your Christmas lunch?

Perhaps by now your Son may have arrived. And yes, I will pray for strength and resilience for you to make this Christmas special, or at least pleasurable, for both your son and also yourself. I really wish you were treated with more respect by both son and other family .... god knows you deserve to be treated with respect.

Being a loving Mum is a tough gig EOR ... I hope you can negotiate a path through this ... one which satisfies him, without compromising your own wishes and needs.

Emelia 🤗💞

Hey @Former-Member Could you still attend the 8am service with your new friend? Then spend the rest of the morning and lunch with your son? If he is there for the rest of today and some of tomorrow then you will have time with him also. I know it is a difficult situation and you risk him being negative towards you if you do leave him for a while but you also deserve to have this time for yourself.

🍒 I'M DOING IT! Don't know how but I've made the Fruit Jelly ✔️ cleared and set the table ✔️ set the Christmas tree up ✔️ dragged the gifts (sacks) under the tree ✔️ cleared spare room and put fresh linen out ✔️

Pretty good since I'm feeling so crappy. Having a laydown now. Hearts pounding and head and muscle fatigue bigtime.

All I gotta do now is take bins out, vacuum and 🤔 tidy bathroom. Oh God knows I'm so tired.

He just tx me saying he's on his way, via long scenic (more dangerous) route through the hills (🙏 prayers) so I got a couple more hours. Tempted to just stay in bed though, rest.

I'm glad he's extended his roadtrip, so 'get' the feeling of 'it allfreedom from it all when ya hit the country roads.

Did tell you I paid for half he's new car? Its red and his choice 4yrs back. He Betta bloomin' drive careful lol

Gotta straighten my hair, clean my heart and put on a smile for him. Lvevmy kdz to pieces 💓 oh he better drive careful 💓

Sounds like a very fruitful flurry of activity today to get ready @Former-Member

All looking good 👍 well done 😄

Yes I do recall you pretty much paid for his car. You are a very generous as well as loving mum. Im sure he appreciates that, but men are not the best at showing emotions or gratitude. They seem to think it shows weakness. Where as ... really ... I think it shows a very strong and confident man to put their emotions on display for others to see. Perhaps your son lacks confidence?

You have done so well today EOR. I hope you get a bit of a break to relax for a while before son arrives. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself during the visit. You have done all you need to do. Let him take some responsibility for making it a nice visit too. It should not be all about him. You are just as important.

Emelia 😄🍒🎄

Yeah I thought that would be how you would feel @Former-Member No matter how old your kids are, waking up with you there matters, so I get it. I also hear you about the questions and looks you may get at a new church - so whilst it would have been nice if you were alone, you can do that at a later date with this new friend and hopefully it (and she) help you feel less alone.

You have done an amazing job getting things ready - but that does not surprise me because you are a determined and capable women when you set your mind to something ...I have seen that so many times from you and that is one of the things that I admire about you

I am doing okay Hon - been flat out since I finished work last week but once the next few days are over I can finally relax a little. Next week I will be going to my parents' to start on their garden - it will take a few days but will be one thing I can do for them that they just cannot handle right now. I know Mum especially is really upset at the state of her once beautiful garden so getting it back to some sort of place she once had it would be a lot to her - so that is my plan. Then when she is able she can sit outside for a time and not feel so down that it is in such a mess.