Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

2720 replies

1,691 - 1,700 of 2,720

1...169 170 171...272

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Emelia8Senior Contributor07 Dec 2020, 4:45 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I'm sorry @Former-Member ... I didnt know until you posted here this morning about your Dad. I dont subscribe to your weather thread, and only occasionally browse it. So I didnt read your sad news there yesterday. I am very glad however, that you had support there yesterday from other members.

Your son sounds like he is not coping well right now. You are right to be concerned about him I think. Dear me, family squabbles really are the worst arent they? So hurtful and also so unneccessary. I'm sorry he has been hurt by your toxic Bro2. And over politics! Very sad.

What a shame your friend could not have been more supportive of you when she rang today and only wanted to talk about her bad dream. I'm sure it was distressing for her, but surely when you told her about losing your Dad, she could think of you instead of herself? I dont understand that of people, I really dont. I think my sister is a very similar type. She thinks of nothing other than how something with impact her. And that stretches from decisions around my Dad (who is now on a wait list for a nursing home because he says he cant cope at home any more), to christmas plans.

Anyway I dont blame you at all for losing patience with this friend of yours today. I would have done so too. There really does come a time where you have given all you've got and you need to stop and recharge your own resources. You have always given so much @Former-Member ... I really want to see you take better care of yourself now.

That could start with care of your surgical wound. You mentioned this morning that the dressings may need seeing to. Can you visit your local GP and have the practice nurse check and redress it for you? That would be appropriate self care right now. You have a bad headache today too ... likely due to stress, crying, heartache. All of those can cause a headache in my experience. You were going to bed for a rest when you posted an hour or so ago. I hope you manage to get some rest and that you feel a little better when you awaken.

I'm sorry to hear that your computer mouse is not working. Very frustrating to say the least. I'm not technically savvy enough to offer any advice on that, other than "is it plugged into the computer properly"? Perhaps its become unplugged somehow.

Will you be attempting to make it to your Dads funeral? It must be very upsetting for you to not be included in funeral planning or arrangements, and I'm really sorry thats the case. I guess it could be because you are in a different state and its difficult to do much from there. But you should still be included in the decision making process. Thats a really tough one for you. I hope at the end of the day .. however it happens ... that the funeral is one which your Dad would have been happy with. And I hope you are able to be there too. But if not, a livestream may be an option. It worked well for my father in law in WA some 10 days ago. Almost like being there.

Thinking of you EOR and sending you a big hug, much love and lots of compassion. Please give Georgia a hug from me too. 🐶

Emelia 🌹

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor07 Dec 2020, 5:22 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I'm so sorry your Dad has passed away (gone) @Former-Member

So much harder when there is no support or kind words, from those you might hope for (or expect) support from.

I was over here in WA, when my Dad died in Sydney (almost 5 years ago).

A death in the family should be a time for supporting each other - Yet sadly that does not happen.

Not for you it seems, & not for me either.

My brothers refused to talk of my Dad, when he passed away - They all left me to deal with it on my own.

💖:pile_of_poo:

So sorry.

Adge

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor07 Dec 2020, 6:30 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oh @Former-Member you do not need all that extra crap from everyone Hon - it is so unfair ...especially from your friend Making it all about themselves and not supporting you is heartbreaking on top of your loss - I am so sorry you have not had that support - seems really selfish ...and over a bad dream I hope with all you have done for your Dad and all that you gave to the family that your needs are taken into consideration with the funeral. It is so hard when others take over and do not have the care and consideration that you would give if you were there. Please look after yourself though Hon because your health and welfare is just as important as anyone else's right now - you deserve the right to grieve and to be supported

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor07 Dec 2020, 8:38 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Other forum friends have said it so well @Former-Member .... your family, your self-absorbed friend, the difficult choices ..... we all make the best decisions we know how to, in the moment, when we lead with the heart .,,,, don't let anyone try to tell you that you did the wrong thing Hon - they were your decisions to make, and you made them with more information than outsiders can see when trying to look into someone else's situation.

Just let yourself grieve, knowing you did the best you could, and that is all anyone can ask if themselves.

💜😔💐💞

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember07 Dec 2020, 9:40 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

My son has checked in, he's fine, had big storm there in Brisbane. Bits are seeping through to me, I had organised was gonna attend funeral Livestream & submit a slideshow tribute (same church mum buried, was requested on dad's prepaid funeral plan) but Bro2 has changed venue because my 'gay' cousin hates the church :/. which is amazing because nobody has asked what I think. It's upsetting me again, I'm feeling under spiritual attack, struggling to not crack, lose my mind.
My friend was sympathetic but then still had to offload. I just can't do it all anymore.
Oh one piece of good news, my wound looks ok (accept huge bruising all round it (breadplate size) but skin clinic rang said extracted fibroma is NON cancerous 👍 thank you guys, I'm praying for protection and in the process of blocking all my former earth family. Not good. Hope I get through it, always have I guess.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Emelia8Senior Contributor07 Dec 2020, 10:11 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Im really glad @Former-Member that you have at least one piece of good news ... that the skin lesion was non-cancerous. 👍💞

Good also that your son has checked in with you, and is safe.

I hope you can get some restful sleep tonight beautiful. 🌹

Emelia 🌷🌻

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember07 Dec 2020, 10:20 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks Emily💕

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Eve7Senior Contributor07 Dec 2020, 10:36 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hugs @Former-Member Here with you tonight and every other night for as long as you need.

Its too hard tonight...I know

💙🤗💙

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor08 Dec 2020, 7:21 am AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Still praying for you @Former-Member and sending you love and strength in droves xxx

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember08 Dec 2020, 7:42 am AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thank You @Anastasia, I've been rereading all these beautiful msgs here, over and over, since news of my dad. Not able to THINK clearly enough (concentrate) to reply to each one as I'd like but hope Yas know I read them and feel loved, somewhere on he planet, even though it's 'out-of-this-world' cyberspace, it's like personal hand written letters in my mailbox.
Thank you guys 🙏
My head is reeeely thick and fuzzy and caring for myself ain't good, think I dehydrated yesterday, the amount of times I walked into the kitchen and forgot why I was there... but if I work really hard at it - put my whiteboard list on toilet door to remind me what I'm doing... hopefully it will work today. Its like I've had a little stroke but I can write here ok I think so I'm probably not as bad as feel. First priority today must be - shower
Thank you all so much. Don't wanna burden too much as know we all who come here have our heavy loads, our own 'cross to bare' Can't - I can't help atm or even know what's going on, but God does, and can meet you where you're at so much more than I ever could 🙏

1,691 - 1,700 of 2,720

1...169 170 171...272