Good morning @Former-Member 🌼🤗
The steel flowers are a good substitute ... they look colourful and happy. So well done for doing that in the absence of any real flowers for now. With winter not far away, real flowers could be pretty limited anyway I suspect.
I had wondered if you may have missed my post from earlier. I'm sorry that being on this thread reminds you of your loneliness. Would it be worthwhile do you think, to open a new thread ... one which you can concentrate on some of the positives in your life? You could keep them both running ... but depending on your mood and your current needs .. you could alternate between the two. Just a thought. 😊
Oh yes, I love autumn too ... probably my favourite season. Love the autumn colours, falling leaves, the cool nights and warm sunny days. I miss the frosts that are common on the Southern Tablelands where we lived before moving up here 11 years ago. 11 years ago yesterday actually. We sold our small superfine wool merino farm and moved to warmer climes. Hubbys choice, not mine. But its nice here too. Though I'll never get used to the humidity. So draining.
Ahhh yes ... of course Georgia is an outside dog! 🐶😉 Ha ha ... sweet little Missy she is.
Do you have good places nearby to go for walks? Is Georgia good on a lead, and does she enjoy her walks? Do you enjoy a walk too? Yeah .. it does ... sound a bit like a family, that is. We could even go for a coffee/tea/hot choc/chai latte at a local cafe. Sounds as though some will likely be opening up again for dine-in soon. That will be good ... a lot of people really miss that. Its always been a rarety for me, but I do enjoy it occasionally once I make the effort to do it. But I would enjoy doing it with you.
Not sure why you assume that I would not stick around if I knew you in real life. I actually LIKE you @Former-Member ... my loveable donkey friend. You have a lot of wonderful qualities. Do you think people may not stick around because you dont allow them to? Maybe you subconsciously dont even want them to be there for you? Do you find yourself pushing people away, or not letting them into your world? Do you think you may be afraid that people dont like you, and so you push them away before they have a chance to do that to you? I think some of that is true of me. I'm just thinking here @Former-Member , so please ignore my ponderings if they are unhelpful to you.
No ... you're right ... mothers day will not be fun for me this year. I miss my Mum and have been thinking of her a lot lately. I still feel like I can just pick up the phone and give her a call every day like I always did. I forget that she's gone and then I get a sharp pang in the heart when I remind myself that shes gone. Perhaps its similar for you with your lost 13yo. As for the 2 miscarriages ... I can only imagine the pain you went through with that, and I know that sense of loss will always be there for you. I know how it affects my brother and his wife, since they lost their unborn baby just over 12 months ago. And of course they lost young Emma when she was 11yo. Some parallels there.
I'm sorry that your relationship with your son is as poor as it is. He does not sound like a happy person at all. Does he have help from a professional for his MH? I cannot recall you saying before. None of this reflects on you as a Mum though EOR ... you are not a failure for any of your losses, nor for the way your son is. I feel sad for you though that its unlikely you'll ever have grandchildren. As you may know ... I have step-kids, who are grown up and have children of their own. My grandkids, of which there are 6 of them. But my stepkids have their real Mum still, so I do not get the Mothers Day thing. But I do get on well with both kids and the grandkids treat me as if I were a real grandma. So thats nice. Its unfortunate they live so far away though.
You have suffered great loss @Former-Member .. and you continue to experience great pain. No ... life is not fair, certainly not what you wanted or deserved. But I have great admiration for you for continuing to live life the best way you can. Your beautiful babies and young child will be watching you from above and wishing you well on Mothers Day. I have no doubt too that your son loves you, he just doesnt know how to show it.
Love and hugs to you EOR. Stay safe and well.
Sherry 💕🤗🌺
