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why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

2720 replies

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember27 Apr 2020, 8:57 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Zoe7 you've not supported me here for a very very very long time.

@Adge

@Former-Member

I see your supports.

They're deleting me again, and blocking my access willy Nilly, when I need support most, again, same person. @Nashy, @Former-Member @csn @you PLEASE deactivate EOR, this is not happening to me again when I'm struggling so much. And where are you @F

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember27 Apr 2020, 9:01 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I am really worried about you @Former-Member ... Please dont disappear. I want you around. 😒💕

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor27 Apr 2020, 9:07 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oh dear @Former-Member I did not see how this happened or escallated.

I'm really sorry it's happened.

Please find a way to stay, if you can.

You're one of my all-time favourite people on here.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember27 Apr 2020, 9:08 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi again @Former-Member

I am the only moderator on the forums at the moment. I am so sorry that you feel unsupported and upset. Please look after yourself.

take care

Whitehawk

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember28 Apr 2020, 9:29 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member ... I'm worried about you. Hope and pray that you are coping and doing everything in your power to stay safe. Difficult times ... I know the feeling that support is not there at the times you most need it. I hope you dont cut yourself off from here during such a time. I've been there and done that .. it didnt end well. Remember I, and many others here, care very much for (and about) you. I hope to see you back here again when you feel ready. Take some time now to allow emotions to settle, then return. I would urge you not to close your EOR account, as you may not be able to open a new account. Besides, I love the donkey ... probably more than any of your former profiles. I know you will be very welcome, when you do venture back. I will definitely be here and waiting. 💕 Please take care.

Sherry

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember29 Apr 2020, 10:11 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hello, testing...

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember29 Apr 2020, 10:12 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks for the EOR hugs @Former-Member, and you too @Adge, I'm ok, just needed space. I didn't know I was validated in Community Wrap, or whatever it was, that was encouraging thank you so much.
I'm just giving my son space again, wait for him to ring me. Have to let him go, give him to God, after all he is 30, a grown-up now. Life's simply not fair, and I'm alone and that just has to be well with my soul.
You don't benefit from worrying about me, just say a prayer and let it go. Ehatever will be will be. It passes, I've been here a long time now, 4yrs I think, keep coming back, less and less support... my fault. It always passes "storm in a teacup" You have lots of support here i see. Ha... the games people play. But ya quiet tonight so thought I could at least check in. Tell you I don't have any pressing SI tonight 🎉
Mowed some lawn and gardened.
Its raining a lot here tonight and they've forcast snow Friday so got heaters and winter stuff ready. Georgia is extra cuddly. Hope your Holly is good too, and Ya birds Adge.
Night 💜

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember01 May 2020, 9:55 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I was really happy to see you return a couple of days ago @Former-Member . Relieved that you are okay. I can understand your need for space. I also took a few days break from the forums.

Youve been here 4 years now? Much the same as me. It will be 4 years for me in September. You are right .. I do have some good support here, for which I am very grateful. It saddens me that you dont always seem to have the support you very much deserve. I dont know why that is. Its not a lack of likeability, because you are very likeable. Its probably more a case of people not knowing how to help you? If they dont know how to help, or a situation seems too complex, many can get scared off. I really dont know, Im only guessing. Or musing I guess.

Any plans for your weekend? How is cute little Georgia?

Sherry 😀💗🐶

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember08 May 2020, 11:13 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi there @Former-Member ... just wanted to drop by to say gooday. As well as to say thank you for your lovely posts to my thread the past couple of days. There is no need to apologise by the way ... I know you care. I also know you have a lot on your plate right now. I know your emotions can get the better of you. Like mine do for me.

I loved the pictures you posted on my thread ... of your humble abode. I noticed little Georgia's kennel out the back door. 🐶😊 Also love the sparkly almost diamond encrusted leaves from the trees. Have you had any frosts where you are? I suspect you have. My Dad said they had a light frost 2 days this week where he is.

I would love to drop by and visit you in real life. We could have a good heart to heart over a nice hot cuppa. We could take Holly and Georgia for a nice walk to explore the neighbourhood. You could show me your latest gardening ventures. Sounds like a perfect visit.

I really hope you're okay. If I dont hear from you before the day ... I hope you have a good Mothers Day and that your Son is loving and caring of you. I'm sure it will be a somewhat sad day for you too, as a Mum. It will be my first mothers day, without a Mum. Its been a bit hard already, seeing mothers day gifts and cards all over the place.

Anyway ... its bed time. I'm very tired and should try to get some sleep. I hope you are already sleeping.

Good night.

Sherry 💕🌺💤

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor08 May 2020, 11:19 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

thinking of you @Former-Member

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