why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Former-Member Impressive crop of Tomatoes (very nice).

Property negotions sound very stressful, I hate that stuff (mean stingy vendors)....

Very rough day, with work contacting me on Annual Leave - & requesting I come in (unpaid) for an Annual Performance Review (now).

Very very triggering, went into total tailspin (have not Replied yet) - & spent 5 hours attempting to ground myself (& come out of overwhelm).

I think @Former-Member said it very well (previous post) Re: property negotiations, etc.

I'm Blank & Wordless at the moment - cannot add anything to that.

Yes I did get St Helena Waxbill finches, Firefinches, & a Canary (Sherry) - very nice.

I may not be working, & am not being paid (except AL) - yet work is repeatedly contacting me, & have ruined my time off (No total break).

Sorry, not feeling great.

Have a good night.

Adge

Thanks for lovely reples @Former-Member and @Adge So good to see you... but I don't know what to say... not in a good head space sorry. Phasing or something, will try again soon. Stay strong guys.

"We're all in this together"

💙

Hi @Former-Member I like this one.

Oscar Wilde was a victim of immense persecution...

How does one resist SI when everyone irl seems to want you to disappear? External line of focus or something. I'm trying to be 'enough' - just me and God, but that makes heaven far more attractive. Than here.

Oh dear, betta go do something, get my mind off it. Sorry

Hello @Former-Member sound like you're having some SI thoughts and recognise that it might be a good time to find some distractions. I wonder what you have found helpful in the past when you have felt this way, perhaps you can use those strategies now?

Also, please remember the following services are available if you need to talk:

Lifeline - 13 11 14

Suicide Call Back Service - 1300 659 467

Dear @Former-Member ... sounds like you are really struggling again today. So sorry to know that.

By the way, I love the Quarantine Day 6 pic fwith the muppet eating all the cars ... so clever.

Ha ha @Adge ... that Oscar Wilde pic is so true, nothing better than to forgive enemies or protagonists. It leaves them with nowhere to go, and provides a sense of self satisfaction that at least you did the right thing. I know you are going through a hard time with a number of triggers lately Adge, so I really hope that work issues, people irl issues and Centrelink issues all sort themselves out soon. It seems that, despite being on leave, you really havent had a break. Soon ... I hope.

Awww @Former-Member .... I dont know what to say, I really dont. I do know that your family cant know what they are missing, by excluding you from their lives as they have done. You are such a lovely, kind, thoughtful, sensitive and intuitive person. I know I appreciate you so very much. How many times have you come to my rescue over the years? I can think of many.

As for why you are currently feeling so low ... does it have anything to do about your seemingly shattered dreams about the block you put an offer in for? Your dream is not lost, merely delayed. So dont give up hope there.

So what are you doing to distract yourself today? How is your beautiful doggie going? Still using the very creative doggie door?

I have just come in from out in my garden. Doing some trimming and some watering. We havent had any rain now for well over a week, and its getting very dry out there again. I havent had to water anything other than undercover pots in about a month I think. So it was a bit of a novelty getting out there and watering some of the garden beds.

I still have tomatoes ripening and carrots ready to pick. My herbs are doing beautifully, out on the deck and getting morning sun. Plenty of coriander and continental parsley happening.

Of course my little girl Holly followed me everywhere, doing all her usual checks and boundary surveilance. Cute baby she is.

While dead-heading some roses I found a particularly beautiful (prime) red rose, just past the bud stage and ready to open up. So I picked it and put it in a rose and gave it to Mr Sherry for his birthday today. He was having his usual sleep after breakfast, so he got it when he got up for a cuppa a little while ago. He loves roses.

I am thinking we need to make the most of this lovely weather, because it looks as though we are due for a change. Southern states are to be hit with a cold blast bringing snow to some areas. That wont reach us here, but it will mean a definite cooler change by the weekend. Rain would be nice, so I am hoping we get some.

Okay, I will leave you for now @Former-Member. Please stay safe my friend, you are important to me. And many others here too. I think its lovely of you and very brave too, to have seen you visiting a lot of extra threads lately. You are to be commended for that, because your posts have been lovely, caring and very encouraging to members. Certainly on behalf of me, I thank you sincerely.

Sherry 💕🙏

Thanks @ Moonstone, @,@ Sherry and @ Adge, you made me tear up, again, yes! (wonder if someone living with me would notice how teary I've been) // what am I doing today? the basics... trying to catch up on badics, dishes washing and putting away. I've got too much stuff 😒 OP shops mostly, even roadside pickup because my good stuff is still in storage in Qld (from selling my cottage 2018 - that was a mistake too 😢- so many regrets). I have a lot of hobbies too which doesn't help clutter - music, sewing craft... which require much space and organisation... I'm challenged with the later.

My mum was like this, but more sanguine, and stubborn, unteachable and well, anyway, she's gone now... hope she appreciates me cleaning up her hoard for her, it was yuk! . I gotta try not to leave such a mess for my family / son. I'm clearly too much of a 'burden' for him, and everyone in the flesh it seems. Who wants to be around such a docile depressive EOR? Its understandable I guess 😢. So, I'm just trying not to think about it, get some control of my environment... tidying up. maybe it will make me feel better, more organised / in control. Don't know where I've been, its like someone else has been living here, and I just unpacked my bag from trip up north over Christmas. Wondered where that stuff was :face_with_rolling_eyes: it's not good Sherry, but you sure know how that is. What an aweful time you're having. And in the midst of it you find the compassion to bring hubby his favourite flower 🌹 Wish you were in my world.
Yes, losing the property dream came with mixed feelings, but it's more my son's attitude to me. Damned if you do and damned if you don't routine. He's very unhappy. Makes me sad. Our conversation yesterday ended badly, he thinks I'm DEMANDING to want him to reply / acknowledge my texts or emails, said he's sick of it. THEN he said he "really loved last weekend with his phone turned off! AND (with agitation in his voice) said he's thinking he should do that EVERY weekend now! I've had a life tradition of contacting family Sunday afternoons, So I requested he take my call every SECOND SUNDAY. But . He snapped back some crap about that being the middle of his weekend or something... I burst into tears and couldnt alk or hadlisten toto anymore and had to hang. up. He text back later saying he was "sorry that he upset me, he upsets everyone and should probably give up" .. I don't know what to say, or want to have that affect on him, . I have to let him go, he's turned into his emotionally abusive father and I can't cope with it, feeling this alone and unlikable. . Its hard. Oh crap, sobbing again, sorry, I gotta go take something and do something and stop thinking about it

Thanks @Former-Member I'm glad you liked the Oscar Wilde quote.

Yep, my leave is over in a few day's time.

Feeling resentful, esp at work contacting me, & worn-out - not refreshed at all.

Adge

Hi @Former-Member Hugs ((((EOR))))

All Dressed Up with No Place to Go (I am).

I cannot make myself go for drives (to nowhere), just for the sake of it.

I have to have a specific destination (which is motivating) in mind - before I can make myself drive there.

That worked with the Big Bird Shops (35km each way) - I had intention to purchase bird, that's what got me out there.

Except for Saturday morning, when I drove 25km to Bird Shop - to find it unexpectedly closed (not open), even after I had checked the opening times.

Came straight back home, feeling thoroughly disheartened & very down (for rest of day).

Adge

Is it ok what my son said? (Above) Why am I so crushed by it?