why can't I cope longer?

LOL

Thanks @ @Faith-and-Hope we must have been typing at the same time. Appreciate your centanents about my boy. Yes he wants to pay be back all that money but in the meantime his savings have grown to 15k and I haven't seen a cent. You said "If

you are able to buy it yourself, I would advise you to continue with your dream, but not suggest his further involvement unless he shows particular interest" hmm, I love him so much but I think you're right. I've done a will in his favour. Its so so empty by my self.

And I fear for my son's mental health more than mine (thinking a retreat in the hills will help him) but also i fear my being around him may make him worse somehow. Its all just such a c#ck-up. Perhaps him giving me the "silent treatment" at this critical time is a huge sign from God to help me make the right decision 😞

No, I don't need a cent from my son. And yes, maybe he will show an interest one day. But Im not so sure people change anymore. Hes more and more heartless likelhis dad every day. And like mum on her death bed my mum held on to her stubborn cruelty, and my siblings behaved disgraceful. None of those assholes can even remember my birthday (my sis would but she prefers grudges to love). .

I just wanna die today... so everythings ON HOLD ''till I FEel BETTER and someone irl shows an ounce of kindness without money being involved.

I've organised a new phone number and along them all to Gmail.

I gottatago have a cry 😢 sorry. I'll be ok, don't bother moderators.

Hello @Former-Member I know that you said not to bother, but I am concerned about you. Please let us know how we can best support you right now?

Feel free to send us an email at team@saneforums.org if there's anything we can do 🌷🌹

I hope you got some rest @Former-Member Maybe feel a little better?

I've been really really needing to go out somewhere (for a decent drive) - a bit stir crazy, feeling penned in.

Could not come up with a motivating destination (or venue) to go to - so did not go anywhere.

The shops does not count as a trip out (for me), I do that all the time - yet don't go anywhere else (except shops).

Oh well....

Adge

@Adge can't you come up with an "essential" excuse (with proof) to go for drive where you want to go? Maybe:

1. computer repair... you need your computer as you live alone and it connects you to the world...

2. X-Ray apt or physio 🙂 don't you have bad back?

3. Car repair, you need your car Working

I donno, there'll be something

@Faith-and-Hope my son rang today. And thanked me for giving him space this weekend. He's adament that he needs to be 50% share ownership - said he's prepared to contribute an initial $5k and contribute remaining 1/2 ($25k) in developing the property over next 5 years. I feel I should trust him. I know he needs this, and if he does the dirty on me... what have I lost really?

I donno much but I do feel better for having talked with him, and shared aa dream. He even said if I don't buy it he's thinking of getting it himself - he said its beautiful up there, cool and quiet and the dive in thethills is great. His only complaint is that is being too close to neighbours (1/4 acre) This is exactly what I needed to hear - that my money is gonna help him and not just sit in the bank. He suffers anxiety and depression and I have the means to provide us both with light relief from that.

xox

That was an awesome response to get from your son @Former-Member, and it does sound like he is on the same page with you.

Also really lovely that he gave you feedback on how much he appreciated you allowing him for he space he needed this weekend.

I am having to give two of my dragons space at the moment, and it's hard, especially knowing that their father won't be ..... but that's another story.

Yes @Faith-and-hope, it's awful when their dad gets in their ear - hey're so vulnerable to it - and the general conflict. Wish I had more Kidz but guessing you still miss the ones who distance. Hope it comes good sooner than later. Good to see you're maintaining studies and Nelly cat settled in 💙💙💙

Mother's Day flowers have come out early this year 😁 bought it last year, in a pot, as a gift to myself, and planted it. The Garden is where I feel most blessed. Especially with this year's tomatoes. These are yesterday's harvest 🍅🍅

I went out yesterday, to shop, walked the dog, got mail & mailed dad a gift - an ANZAC DAY tin, and biscuits. Shoved his Easter egg in there. He's still in lockdown (no Visitors

@ nursing home + a war vet.

Solicitor advised me to pull out of buying property purchase re unfavourable wording of sale contract vendor won't budge on (eg no refund of deposit if checks bad). I'm disappointed, but also quietly relieved. It was stressing me.

Yesterday I showered, first time in... ... too long. Lost my hair brushes too somehow :face_with_rolling_eyes:, yeh, right, I know... 😕 so I bought new one yesterday 😏 Grabbed a rare treat -

cinnamen donuts, then a secret dash into the Reject Shop - had a little spend 😁... i do miss my retail therapy. Dog loved her walk too.

@@@@Adge @@ thinking of you, especially this morning, worried you've been crook and wandering if you're ok?? And you @Former-Member being so withdrawn. God bless you both, be strong, helps me to know you're ok. 💙💙💙

Dear @Former-Member ... Yes I have been a little withdrawn since my return. Hiding under a protective shell. I needed to find my feet, and a place I can feel safe again ... as well as to regain trust in both myself and others once more.

I have been following along with whats been happening with you though.

I was really disappointed for you that the block of land, and your dreams around it, did not eventuate. It sounds like the contract details were unreasonable, so perhaps it is best not to proceed. But now that you have this idea (and dream) in your head, then keep looking ... something else will likely come up. And maybe even better than the last one.

I am really happy that you are still gaining a lot of enjoyment from your garden. Your tomato harvest looks pretty impressive. And I love the little windmill you have in your garden patch. I still have my herbs in pots doing nicely ... still got parsley and coriander, which I have been using regularly in my everyday cooking as needed. Still got some carrots too, which I pull up as needed. And I have used quite a few tomatoes, with a new batch ripening currently. I also discovered a little treasure trove when I was doing some gardening last week ... a self sown truss cherry tomato plant, hidden amongst weeds and shrubs. So many tomatoes developing on it, that its sprawled all over the ground, hiding. So I staked and tied it up ... just waiting for the little toms to ripen now.

Hi also to @Adge and @Faith-and-Hope. I read somewhere Adge that you have a new birdie? Cant recall the type, but I do hope its settled in nicely and bringing you pleasure. Especially since you are not currently working, its always nice to have those small pleasures in life.

Sherry 💕