Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

2720 replies

1,041 - 1,050 of 2,720

1...104 105 106...272

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember19 Apr 2020, 9:59 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member 💐💙💞

@outlander 🏵️💙💞

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor19 Apr 2020, 10:01 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

hey @Former-Member

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember19 Apr 2020, 10:07 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member

Depending on what council area you are in there will be some requirements for converting a shed to a dwelling. Here is a link to an example:

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.clarence.nsw.gov.au/page.asp%3Ff%3DRES-LEX-33-26-08&ved=2ahUKEwj8v8aGufToAhV7yzgGHasQDGMQFjAAegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw06iVvZMULwvmCoMV7WrHed

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember19 Apr 2020, 10:17 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Former-Member that pdf came through great. It energises me to take on this process, even though I feel so tired ordinarily. Gets my mind off my family all abandoning me - the loss pain and loneliness. Another reason I want to do it... since I can't do my road trips anymore re COVID craziness THNX

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember19 Apr 2020, 10:27 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member , are you doing ok tonight? No pressure to talk, only when ya ready 🙏

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember19 Apr 2020, 10:41 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Sheesh! how can I have all this good stuff going on, and beautifful weather... and still feel I'm gonna die soon???

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor20 Apr 2020, 12:57 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member

https://landing.tinyblox.com.au/?adgroupid=76190475565&campaignid=6490097225&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgvfert706AIVCLeWCh25iQ7NEAAYASAAEgKspPD_BwE

This is one where you can start with a tiny space that has all the basics, and then add another "cube" (room) if you want ..... they can just keep adding on, and bits can be added on as you go, like hit water system or aircon, in little sizes to suit the tiny home.

Also says you don't need council approval.

Dont know if it's any good to you, but thought you would find it interesting anyway.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember20 Apr 2020, 9:47 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

WOW! @Faith-and-Hope, great link, reeeeeealy good idea & good re council. I saw one of these tiny homes at a Caravan + Camping show here recently, my son would really like it. If I can get him on the title he'll probably pay for one for himself. Thanks.
Things still up in the air though. He's not talking and I have a contract waiting to hear from him, if if it needs to edit him in. But then a friend pointed out yesterday that "if he's do disrespectful ted you now, why would you trust him with this joint venture, giving him control over your dream? He could sell out from under you... and you've already given him 28k this last year, with his business floundering. Nothing will ever be enough for him it seems, we need to move on without our Kidz..." Oh dear, another friend thinks I should leave $ as cash in the bank, for you, and that I'm being released planning to live off DSP 'till I die... And of cause blackdog is transmitting loud and clear "just do nothing, lay here 'till you die, nothing matters, its hopeless..." Having a dream kinda drowns out blackdog, or am I just joined on the adrenaline rush and running away? Still haven't heard from son 😞 it crushes me. Did I tell Yas that not one family member sent me a card for my recent birthday. All I got from blood was a phone call from my son. So glad I have friends. Two of them rang. I'm just trying to keep going.

Do I sound rational? Don't wanna make decisions when not well. I can't tell if I've drifted to far, except a couple of warning signals, like SI and tears and phasing. Anyway, need a cuppa. 🌻

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember20 Apr 2020, 10:42 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hey there @Former-Member just checking in around the suicidal ideation, are you travelling okay? Did you need any further support with those thoughts? It's great to see you connecting here, and as always thank you for keeping us updated and sharing your journey

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor20 Apr 2020, 11:30 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Former-Member

It'a lovely that you are sharing your dream with your son. That much is not only sensible, but loving also.

are you saying that you need his financial support to purchase the block, or are you able to buy it yourself ?

If you are able to buy it yourself, I would advise you to continue with your dream, but not suggest his further involvement unless he shows particular instead. I am hearing that he lost $28k of your money that you gifted to him, and in my thinking, he is not demonstrating any gratitude for what you have done for him. To pursue his interest and involvement is setting yourself up for more hurt ..... let him come to you when you keep a bit of distance and he becomes curious about what you are up to.

You are not leaving him bereft. You can Wilk your dream to him in the future, but live and enjoy it for yourself in the here and now, and let that future take care of itself.

If you do purchase this particular tiny home, or one like it, and it appeals to your son, he can initiate conversation about it, and enquire about buying one of the "cubes" for himself, perhaps as a weekender to start with.

1,041 - 1,050 of 2,720

1...104 105 106...272