Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

2720 replies

1,011 - 1,020 of 2,720

1...101 102 103...272

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember06 Apr 2020, 5:18 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Finally got accessed for Beyond Blue New Access program today... but, Because I was honest about SI... they flipped me off to MH who'll ring me tomorrow... and it's with a male which i spacifically requested not. I'm so over being stuffed around trying to get support. Everyones so scared of suicide.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember07 Apr 2020, 9:08 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi there @Former-Member

I am just posting you a message to acknowledge your battle to find the right professional support. It is great that you have accessed the BB program. Yet then getting stuffed around would be no fun at all especially in these trying times. I really hope you are able to get the right worker for you, and not a male.

regards

Whitehawk

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor07 Apr 2020, 9:27 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

🌻💕 @Former-Member ....

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor07 Apr 2020, 11:04 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member 🌻💌

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember08 Apr 2020, 10:22 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope @outlander @Former-Member @@ thanks. Pleased to say that was brave enough to pick up the 3pm MH call yesterday (so to stop them coming to house re welfare check) and managed to convince him I'm fine as my birthday trigger had passed... He flipped me off to ''Likemind' (quietly relieved on both sides I'm sure) who just rang and booked me into intake assessment next week (not another ''intake assessment grr) get me in with a psychologist... Hmm, got that dizzy merry-go-round feeling again... dejavou. Still waiting for ACTUAL support, what's new. Having said that SI waves are less and less intense than last couple weeks, and crying less, and doing more. Maybe don't need to follow through now. I don't know. Been trying to get support since moving here almost a year back now.

On a good note:

Bit of aa win yesterday - found a thin door at tip last week, with doggy door opening already cut out. After a couple of strips if wood screwed into top + bottom, it dropped nicely into the sliding door frame grooves TADA!. Success! Less bugs, less breeze 😁