A question for the ladies

It sounds like a bit of stuckness with your nurse @outlander. It is actually really great to take control of your health by asking for something if you really feel there is something not right. It took me some practice to build my confidence like that and to start with I'd quietly nod and do whatever, but now that's not me at all and I feel better this way. A supportive person you have built a relationship with, like your nurse, might be a good one to try it out with.

I get it with being afraid and with the male thing. I guess for me when my discomfort, pain etc outweighs the yuckiness of things like this, it makes it a bit easier. As far as tests goes my experience is that ultrasound, blood tests, physical examination (that one sucks but doesnt always happen and they try not to do it if they don't need to), and tests under anaesthetic via laparoscopy/hysteroscopy etc. are what has happened for me with the kinds of things you're talking about.

I think you're sensible to be thinking about how much you can take on. Weighing up the pros and cons of it all and working out what you can manage sounds like a good idea.

thank you @CheerBear
i see my nurse on tuesday for a sucky womens health test so it might be a good time to at least bring it up with her then, she may suggest instead of seeing another nurse/ gp to ask my gp to refer me to a specialist instead so that would be better as well this area would be their speciality. i do try to talk not just nod and do whatever but not being listened to in regards to this is starting to get a little harder esp when the pain, discomfrot and yukiness is there. yes your right, its abit of the trust thing when it comes to males but generally a females in the room if he is a he and not a she.
i can live with the ultrasouns, bloods and physicals but its the laparoscopy that sounds the worse esp since i dont have that family support. i cant even talk to my mother about anything esp this (or mh) so this whole topic seems to be extremely hard

on tuesday if i at least talk to my nurse then maybe she could help weigh up the pros and cons too.
can i ask what your suggestion would be since youve been through that stuff? do you think maybe waiting would be better?

Sounds like you have a bit of a plan @outlander. My experience is that it takes time for referrals and tests etc to go through and you can always reschedule them. But I also get how too much on can be too much as well and the chaos that can create. It's a tricky balance. I can't and don't want to suggest anymore than that as you know you and your life better than anyone. Trust yourself (easier said than done!) 😘

thank you @CheerBear for your help and everything. i very much appreciate everything you do for and with me
after monday when i find out when my oral surgury will be (monday i speak to the surgical team and anaethetist) so thatll help with abit of a time line too and how much im willing to put it off

thanks so much CB

Hey @outlander. Really happy to hear that you can go to the clinic if you choose. Well done you on taking that scary step!

I was thinking about your fear of the possible tests under anaesthetic the other day, but ran out of time to write my thoughts. You said "I can live with ultrasounds, bloods, and physicals". I wanted to remind you how much your bravery in the past has helped you out. There was a time not too long ago that each one of those things was very difficult for you with each being a challenge and source of distress. I hope you are able to take a moment at some stage, to reflect on the experiences you've had and how you've overcome them and grown from them. Maybe that's a key in surviving and getting through some of the challenges you have coming up. Sometimes our fear cripples us, but it can help to step back and remember the times fear tried to stop us but we didn't let it, and think about how we actually managed to do that.

We're off adventuring now so I have to run but wanted to write that one out before I forgot.

😘

Thank you for thinking of me in this tricky situation CB.
Yes you are right, bravery does help (even if we dont feel very brave!). I know that if/when that time comes itll be hard and scary but ill have to draw some of the bravery out and use it to my advantage.

I think most of the fear comes from not so much the tests (which yes are scary indeed) but it comes from having to talk and explain to my mother. Unfortunately she isnt as understanding as those here and it makes me nervous having to approach her saying that this or that had to happen. I dont really like talking about this topic offline as even though we are women its still really awkward and feels private to me so that is an obstacle in itself. As you would know its not just a procedure done at the gp so its not all to easy to hide...

Thank you @CheerBear ❤

Thanks little pea 💚 @Bunniekins

@CheerBear (and everyone is welcome too 😊) I hope you don't mind I just feel a little more comfortable over here just for the questions im about to ask.
but firstly I want to thank you for being open to these discussions, I don't have anyone offline and the only one who I kind of have to talk to is the gyno and hes a male :face_with_rolling_eyes:

so ive actually got 3 questions rather then 1..

The first one is- do you get like kidney/flank pain? ive been to the drs a few times with suspected kidney infections but the tests generally come back clear except twice. my gp doesn't know, and the gyno ordered a kidney ultrasound as well but that was clear so not stones or anything. so im wondering if maybe you or anyone else gets it at different stages of their cycle? im wondering if its maybe like a PCOS sort of pain. Gyno hasn't confirmed endo yet but hasn't ruled it out, he just doesn't want to keep running tests if its not necessary. it generally comes at the time when my periods or ovulation 'should' be even if its not happening. its sometimes worse then the cramping- which I know you know the feeling of!

another is- do you get ovulation symptoms more then once in your cycle? I told him about this and he said that I also get 'fake' ovulation. that's the way I understand it, as sometimes im 'ovulating' but its also the start of my periods and can happen 2 (sometimes 3) times in just one cycle but only one period doesn't matter if ive skipped a month or 2 or if its regular at the time) its very confusing- my poor tracker on my phone doesn't know what to do sometimes lol.

the other is- im super scared that my periods going to come when I have my surgery. its uncomfortable, heavy and painful enough without having this too and as you know general doesn't wear off very quickly. am I going to have to tell them I have it? I don't think they'll have to do any tubing etc down there as its not a long procedure but its still really worrying me. like its only 12 days away now and its already late by a week.