Living with depression is debilitating!!!!!

Hi FairyFox,

Great point about RUOK? Day. I think the strength of RUOK? Day is that it educates people on what to do after that question has been asked.
Nik

Thank you for your honest posting FairyFox. I will write a proper reply but in the meantime wanted to send you a virtual great big HUG.

On the other hand, being part of an overly involved family can also be overwhelming too..as families often have high expectations of its members. Like not bringing shame to the family, setting a good example, following the norms..

Thank you Maude, that hug was much appreciated. Sending one back to you. I made a conscious decision when I came on here that any post I might contribute would be straight up & honest, really no point otherwise. Mind you this new meds they've added has had the effect of dyslexia so I keep having to go back & correct lol. Have also noticed I've become a bit clumsy. If it kicks in & actually helps I will put up with the side effects for a while 🙂

Yes I guess you're right...I hadn't looked at it that way. Still I think I'd prefer the close large family to the one that isn't close at all & don't talk about anything that matters. I couldn't count how many times I've been told to stop being so sensitive if I want to discuss anything. The ironic thing is, I think that comment & the reaction has created in me an overly sensitive person. That doesn't sound right but I think you'll know what I mean.

Hi fairy fox, you have been quite brave and strong for such a long time I am familiar with what your saying in regards to hiding it away I called myself a chameleon for awhile... I went thru a massive MI 6 ish years ago and I pulled away from everyone I had one support person who persisted with me thankfully still persists with me this year I started forcing myself to call friends who I haven't spoken to properly in awhile ie 1-2 years they have been amazing with actually being able to relate to my situation. I don't know if that would help but it has somewhat for me

Ruok day needs to be more then asking that question I can be full blown manic and tell someone yes I am fine its believable and they go ok excellent and it is left at that. It has to be ruok lets sit down and really talk about things

Hi Kato, I'm pleased you've had the opportunity & been able to reconnect with some friends. That they understood was even better. It really does make all the difference in the world if there's someone that shows they care & sticks with you.
Hopefully by next RUOK day they might include the 'let's sit down & really have a talk" bit in their advertising as I'm sure the majority of people on the receiving end of the question feel exactly as we do.

The hardest thing to realize fairyfox is that friends know when something is up... they then also allow us to push them away. When we realize that we have pushed them away it is the hardest part to reach out and ask them back in. <br>I know with mine I asked one why did you leave me? What did I do wrong. His response, bro I came round and you ignored me, you stopped answering when I rang and wouldn't write back to my text's. I realised then I had pushed him away.<br>The reason for me was I didn't want anyone to know my secrets. Now I don't want to sound like a know it all, I know I am coming across that way.<br>It's very difficult for me to even write this stuff it might not be the same for you. <br>From what I have read on your posting is that you are very strong, in mind and spirit....<br>It reads in everything you have written. <br>I have no answers and millions of questions and my usual tact is to make jokes I like to make people smile <br><br>It gets me in trouble tho.... <br>My family is very supportive yes I thought we are close knit family.... until I started explaining to people about the general workings of the dynamics,<br>My dad is just like me same humour same alot of things, but thats where it stops he only started showing me proper affection when I broke 6 years ago. My mum is probably classed as serious ocd or control issues she has had it all her life. My siater is a hypo chondriac she has had everything wrong with her. My other sister is agoraphobic on a slight scale and germ scared. And then me who has always been the sad clown (painted on smile)sad real lol<br>Now doesn't sound too bad right.<br>Except every single one if us is severely private we don't discuss with each other what is going on with us until we had too.<br>My sister had cancer and didn't tell me! I was like why didn't you say something, she didn't think I needed to know. 6 years ago it took a month for me to tell my parents what was happening and a year or so to tell my sisters. This time a week has passed. <br>If your dr or psychologist or who ever is saying that these drugs are all they've got... then you get a second or third or fourth opinion, I would even suggest something like holistic or something but remember don't take what they say as being the only truth because each of us is unique and special in our own ways.<br>My wife when she has to take any meds always gets the opposite side effects to what your supposed to. Example these meds here will stop the nausea - result for her severe nausea lol makes life fun. <br>Goodness I am making this all about me, ummm right if you like you can always write here and I will always reply maybe take a day or so but I am trying to keep a daily eye on here.<br>You are awesome always think it and believe it<br>