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It's time I disappear

BlueBaySenior Contributor16 June 2018, 3:50 pm AEST

It's time I disappear

I've been struggling for awhile and today is a really bad day. I'm emotional overwhelmed angry at my BPD. Not coping. Im having thoughts to disappear fir a while where no one will find me.

I am so confused in my head.

I am thinking my family will be better off without me. I am a bother to then.

Pls tell me I'm wrong. Someone tell me to not do it.

Ir seems wrong but my head is telling me very strongly to do it.

Easilt psck a bag and go.

Fragile is how I feel.

97 replies

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In response to: It's time I disappear

BlueBaySenior Contributor07 July 2018, 9:19 pm AEST

Re: It's time I disappear

I don’t know @Muzzie

I need to log off here and go to bed

I feel very alone

I feel so lost in life right now and need to shut my mind off for a while maybe quite a while.

I need to think

its hard you know it’s hard to live like this

but don’t worry

I’m going to go

In response to: Re: It's time I disappear

outlanderSenior Contributor07 July 2018, 9:22 pm AEST

Re: It's time I disappear

i care @BlueBay

In response to: Re: It's time I disappear

BlueBaySenior Contributor07 July 2018, 9:25 pm AEST

Re: It's time I disappear

@outlander

Im crying

I can’t think

i need to log off

I don’t know what the he’ll is going on with me lately

everything is getting on top of me

csnt cope

I need to disappear

I need to run hide

punch kick hit dimething

sorry I’m going xxx

In response to: Re: It's time I disappear

BlueBaySenior Contributor07 July 2018, 9:27 pm AEST

Re: It's time I disappear

@Muzzie@outlander

Sorry I’m going I csnt handle this tonight.

Im really sorry. I just can’t.

In response to: Re: It's time I disappear

outlanderSenior Contributor07 July 2018, 9:31 pm AEST

Re: It's time I disappear

@BlueBay your sounding really overwhelmed, would staying here and talking to me help at all? we can talk about anything you like it doesnt have to be about mental health, sometimes it helps to take to focus off it all...

In response to: Re: It's time I disappear

BlueBaySenior Contributor08 July 2018, 11:53 am AEST

Re: It's time I disappear

Hi @outlander

just letting you know I’m still here.

In response to: Re: It's time I disappear

outlanderSenior Contributor08 July 2018, 2:37 pm AEST

Re: It's time I disappear

Thank you for checking in @BlueBay im glad your still here

In response to: Re: It's time I disappear

BlueBaySenior Contributor08 July 2018, 2:42 pm AEST

Re: It's time I disappear

@outlander I’m sorry I couldn’t tslk last night to you. I wanted to but I couldn’t work out what to say.

I am really quiet today. Just sitting here doing nothing which isn’t good. The weather is terrible

Im not sure how I’m feeling to be honest. I feel I may need a hospital stay but I know my gp doesn’t agree. Might need to talk to him about this. Seeing my psych in a few weeks. If I’m like this still I’m worried he’ll admit me. I csnt think.

I feel hopeless helpless and just lost. I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry xxx

In response to: Re: It's time I disappear

outlanderSenior Contributor08 July 2018, 3:46 pm AEST

Re: It's time I disappear

hi @BlueBay
thats ok, sometimes words are to hard to find. is there anything you can do to fill in your day at all?

if things get to bad, remember you can self admit too by walking into the emergency department yourself or calling an ambulance if unsafe.

your gp may not agree but if it something your willing to do and if you think it might help then dont be afraid to say something.

In response to: Re: It's time I disappear

BlueBaySenior Contributor08 July 2018, 3:51 pm AEST

Re: It's time I disappear

@outlander

Just did a bit of crochet. Now having a coffee. Nothing else to do.

Its hard to decide about hospital I need to talk to my gp.

I need to go. Thanks for chatting with me. Xx

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