Living with Ourselves

Good morning @hanami

How are you?

I am starting to feel paranoid, like Sane is following me around. It’s all good, I am fine and so are my friends. We were just dealing with some past issues here. Stuff from 2021 - ancient history really.

Meggle

Hi @Oaktree !!!

Oh no, don't feel that we are following you around! Just making sure a very valued member is ok. That's so important to us ❤️. I'm good! It's a nice sunny Friday. I hope you don't mind me popping onto your other space to say hi. I promise I'm not following you around lol.

Hanami

@hanami

It’s totally fine if you are following my trail but I am totally fine. I know you are just doing your job. Must be difficult keeping us all in check. Bit chilly here but the sun is shining. Still early, only 9:30am. Need to shower and get dressed. Going to knit and natter a bit later. It’s a group of mainly older ladies but it’s enjoyable. It’s held at a library about 45 minutes from here. Glad you are feeling well.

Meggle

Hello @Oaktree

I was in town....Greystone then found your post.

I respected your not wanting to go back over the past.

Purely a suggestion.

I am thankful that you did as my intentions were from the heart to help you, help put it all into perspective. Reassure you that I have never been upset by you more frustrated I suppose, that I could not reassure you. That is the nature of the forums though.

Very brave of you to read and I hope that you believe also, will help you moving forward in not being so cautious around me.

This will take time and I will give you as much time as you need.

Thank you also for acknowledging my adult child situation.

Sadly that has worsened again of late.

Missing again.

It is hard to carry this on my own, of my own choosing to protect my older child.

I too feel very judged at times because of my keeping this close to my chest.

@tonysknows some of this story...

So I am hopefully explaining this without further concerning you.

You have helped me by validating my loss and load.

Meggle, I often read other posts and think that people are talking unkindly about me so I withdraw.

I have a lifetime history of being judged and not accepted as I am.

I have a few true friends but distance and health has stopped me catching up with them. My choice not theirs.

I also struggle with missing person and lifetime of trying to help....

hard to catch up with people when they ask how is....? What have you been doing>>>?

Oh looking for missing person......In and out of hospital myself.....

I am learning to look after me better

I also lost my mum last year. Twin had stopped me seeing her for 5 years and I stayed in mum's room through palliative care....she was in advanced stage of dementia and unrecognisable. Three days was very hard...

Very moving though as I was able to reach her through talking....I would not change those three days for the world. She actually said sorry to me..

I was able to let her know that she could continue on her journey, not stay and suffer any longer...she left moments after...

Hope that does not upset you.

Wanted to share something that was so very special for me, even though twin tried to take her away from me...twin could not stay...

the essence of this world brings gifts when we are open to receive them.

Hope that helps you feel more comfortable with me as who I really am.

Not aloof and withdrawn as some perceive.

Talk to me anytime here @Oaktree when you have doubts.

This is my safe space.

@tonysvisits me here so you will always be safe.

Sophia1

Oh @Sophia1

So sorry for your troubles regarding the loss of your Mum and your missing son. That must be so hard for you. Will pray that he is returned to you safe and as well as he could possibly be.

When I read that history back I could sense your frustration. You only tried to reassure me but I was in my own troubled head. I was hurting so much at the knowledge that I had deeply hurt someone I really cared about so much! There was nothing you could have said any nicer than what you tried. Sorry I was in such a bad place. I am personally glad that I kept reading through the following pages though. They reminded me of the love and care we truly felt for each other. I hope never to hurt you again. Please tell me quickly if anything comes up so that it doesn’t get worse. Remember the wooden spoon

meggle

Lovely @Oaktree

We are able to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and express the love of a friendship that does not waiver when put under such huge tests.

We both are so busy worrying about one another that it takes this long laugh

wooden spoon will be invaluable.

I think that we better have a special place for it in Greystone with a custodian... the guardian @tonys seconded by Town Sherriff @LeChuck (your name is so hard to find) having the combination codes to the safe in the Town.

Back to the Town.

Sophia1

@Sophia1

Thank you for trusting me with some of your story. I know that means a lot.

Meggle

be back soon. Dinner

@Jacques

hi @Sophia1 im glad you are doing things at your own pace no need to reply straight away my friend, just when you have the energy.

i hear you about being wary of people, i have had my trust broken so often when i was younger i promised myself i would never trust anyone again, then my partner came along, it took me the longest time to trust her as i was so scared of being hurt again. i do fully trust her now. im not sure if i will ever fully let anyone else in. i guess time will tell.

i hope any carers you get and any help you get treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve. you are so amazing and im so proud of you noever giving up. you are so strong and kind.

hugs my friend.

Hello @Jacques

sorry that I missed you.

I do know that you enjoy Friday feast with Bill and other friends. I love that you have that connection here. You are so worthy of friendship as you are a good friend to others.

I hope that you are still enjoying gardening and projects around the home .

costly exercise renovating even when doing all of the labour yourself.

Trust does take a long time to build ..

Once broken takes time to trust again

can be worthwhile when you meet someone important taking a risk…

Look at what you have now ..much to look forward to..

Thank you for telling me that you feel proud of me..never giving up.. not everyone agrees.. To me there is no option B..

The exercise physiologist is lovely. .. Not much time:…is what it is

Enjoy receiving your news and love the friendship..

Look after you too

-Sophia1

big hugs