Living with Ourselves

oh bless you for letting me know @Jacques

It is awful not knowing isn't it....our minds think the worst things when we feel deeply..

I am so very relieved that you are still talking to me..as well as not affected..

Yes I will be off of the computer shortly...Just need to thank a few others..

I hope that you enjoy friday feast with friends..

Speak when we can

your friend...hugs...Sophia

Thank you @Appleblossom for all of your support always..

I am so pleased that we have become close in as close one can be in a virtual world..you have enough on your plate without adding my grief...

@Anastasia Thank you also for offering to listen and I hope that I have also not affected your health and situation further either..thank you friend...hoping that your circumstance has settled...

@outlander

I will be fine will be logging out soon..just responding to a couple of others..

How did you know that I collect teddy bears....

never really liked dolls too fake...teddy bears give cuddles...

look after you now..

take care hugs back my friend..

Hello @Clawde @Adge @HenryX for showing support..

very much appreciated from each of you..

hugs to you all ..

I will be heading over to creative writing then logging off...

Hi @Sophia1 Okay then - I may have missed you, if you've Logged Off (by now).

Yep, Blue or White numb Fingers for me too - On a regular basis.

I cannot always tell the reason (cause).

Adge

Hello dear @Sophia1

Not at all lovely 🌹

@Sophia1

@Anastasia

@outlander

@Jacques

Not much to say, but caring, checking in and sending love to you all.

Hello @Jacques

I hope that you have some sun shining down on you today..

I was able to get out in the garden yesterday....weed...reposition some plants....prune....as well as spread mulch around those thirstier plants needing watering more often...

The garden space lifts my mood slightly and keeps the darker side at bay...

I had my knitted hat on....sunglasses....

This is of course a way of protecting myself from the wind and glare of the sun..

There is also another aspect of protection...I believe that it is an extension of self isolating...

I am still hiding from the outside world at a lesser level...

I have many hats....hoods....which I use on my walks...when I get to follow through with them..

I read about your living next door to a farm....occasionally walking down to the fence...looking over and sensing that feeling of the landscape being in 3D..

Someone else reading this might think how fortunate...

We both know there is nothing fortunate about the experience...

There is something that I felt and wanted to share with you again....

3D view reminded me of me...I am still here..

When self isolating I can dissociate or degeneralise myself from my surroundings...this inducing a sense of loss of me only recognised after discussing in therapy..

I used to live on 5 acres before that place was sold and we moved here..

We had a farm next door...

The farmer bred cows...I was told the two different breeds..

They all had numbers in their ears..

They came to the fence as they found shade from our gum trees planted all around the borders of the 5 acres..

When I discovered this fact...I started looking out for them daily...this is when I had stopped working due to my ill health..

I would talk to them and refer to them by their number...

As I spoke to them gradually more would feel brave enough to approach..

There would be quite a gathering at the end..

They all seemed to delight in being spoken to...

I absolutely adore cows..

Are there any animals on the farm next to you?

You mentioned that you had been out in the shed which is still a form of working through the isolating..

I told my therapist that I leave the house where I self isolate and go into my garden house outside and self isolate in there...

Progress.

I have another story to tell you for another day..

I wonder if you might venture out to that fence for me and tell me about what you see...

A hat and sunglasses might help..

hugs from Sophia...dear friend...💛

Unbelievable @Appleblossom

I had just finished writing to Jacques and was ready to w rite to you..

You must have sensed the invisible bond..

I am aware that you also are struggling and am wanting to let you know that I am thinking of you when not on here..

You all have a place in my heart

@Appleblossom @Jacques @Adge @Anastasia @outlander

I really struggle finding words also..

As you are all aware I usually leave such lengthy essays..

Take care ....hugs all...

Sophia..

💛

Sun to warm your hearts..

No sun outside here today...sun within my heart though...

There's Plenty of Sunshine here @Sophia1 It's warm outside.

I can send some Sunshine to you....

Except that I'm inside, where it's Cold.

I would spend more time outside - if my neighbours were not so Loud, with their Outdoor Music Speakers & Yelling....

Never feels safe & comfortable Outside (here/ this area) - Even though the Front & Back Yards are Supposed to be my own Private Space....

Kind thoughts,

Adge