Living with Ourselves

Thanks @Former-Member I really appreciate your positive feedback (& thoughts).

I'm glad you like the pictures & quotes.

As a long-term survivor or SA, severe neglect & other abuse (spanning decades) - which gave me complex PTSD - I find the assumption (only some people made) that it never happens to men very hurtful.

I try not to take that personally (from people), which is hard.

Adge

Yes @Adge I do understand. I too am a victim of SA as well as ongoing mental (and intermittent physical) abuse, thus leading to a diagnosis of C-PTSD. Of course I know its not just the female of the species who experience the trauma of SA. And ... you know what? ... despite the extreme trauma I personally endured, I suspect it may well be even more traumatic for men. Perhaps because men are typically the strong ones, the ones who are in control ... as society and tradition seems to dictate. Probably this leads to the common misconception that "it doesnt happen to men"? Probably as a result, men are more likely to bottle things up more than women do, and try to hide what happened. Thus I believe the trauma of SA has the potential to be more extreme for men than for women. Yeah I'm sure its hard not to take things personally at times, although I feel sure any hurtful comments on the forums are not intended. Perhaps people are forgetting your history?

How are your remaining birds going, after the recent loss of some, due to water issues in the aviaries? Will you be replacing any of your prized bird companions?

@Sophia1 nice to see you being a bit more active on the forums again. I have been away for 10 days, but returned home yesterday. I subscribe to your thread here, so keep abreast of happenings, although I havent been posting a lot over the past month or so. All sorts of reasons, which I wont go into here.

Sherry 💖

Hi @Former-Member Yes there are quite a few of us with C-PTSD, aren't there.

Although it's only mentioned when people feel comfortable enough to say.

My psych thinks that the impact of long-term childhood neglect is possibly worse than SA.

There would be many forum people who would have experienced that (including myself).

Abuse & trauma is shattering for everyone (any survivor), I feel.

I bought some new Goldfinches & a new Red-Faced Parrot-finch - after a search. They are lovely.

I posted pictures on Friday Feast.

They are fast fliers, & were zipping around the aviary, just a short while ago (bed-time now).

The goldfinches hang upside-down from the aviary roof, which is hilarious - they are the only bird I know of, that does that.

No Bengalese finches are available (my favourites) - so the sole surviving Bengalese is on it's own (with Goldfinches & Canaries), for the moment.

Thanks Sherry

Adge

@Adge 👍💔

Glad you have found some new bird buddies, they sound lovely. I didnt know that about goldfinches .. very interesting. I only have budgies in my aviary. Although I used to have quail as bottom dwellers. Unfortunately a rat managed to burrow in and it killed the few I had. Very sad. I hope you manage to find some Bengalese so your one surviving one has some like company soon. I will go and check out Friday Feast to see your pics.

Good night @Adge .. nice chatting this evening. I needed that, its been a difficult day here, in fact a difficult 10 days.

Sherry

Goodnight @Former-Member I'm sorry to hear that it's been a tough week (or more).

Quails are lovely.

I have Budgies too.

Just 2 to start with, then they didn't stop having babies....

Now about 12 Budgies.

Adge

Ha ha ... yep same here with the budgies @Adge . I started out with a pair I was given by a neighbour who was leaving and didnt want his budgies any more. It was a lovely white female and a blue male. They bred and bred some more. I ended up with about 20, so I sold some to our local Petbarn. But I bought a new male ... a dominant pied ... and ended up with skyblue, cobalt, purple, grey, a beautiful violet coloured one, plus all colours in between. And the pet shop always loved it when I took along some of the beautiful pied babies. But I havent put the breeding boxes in this past year, I have been too busy to be bothered, not enough time to care for them properly with babies. I have retained 12 budgies now and they are all paired up. Same as you I see ... you also having 12. My favourite of them is the violet coloured one with black flight feathers. Its a female and is very friendly. Usually the males are the more friendly, but she is equally so. I also had a pair of cockatiels, also given to me by the neighbour when they moved away. But he told me they were quite old. The female died soon after unfortunately. But another neighbour had a female without a mate, so I gave the male to her. She still has them both, so I suspect they were not as old as I was led to believe. Or else the male was a lot younger than the female.

Okay ... good night. 😴🐦🦜

@Sophia1

Trying to find peace in this world and in people is hard ... it's not hard trying to find peace in my mind...

I suppose we're all heavily reliant on other people to find meaning and purpose and a sense of satisfaction and completion in life (among everything else we need ...) ... a doctor spoke about the God complex to me once... sort of suggesting that i suffered from it... and i get what he meant now... but my arguement is ... trusting in people ain't much better... to that doctor i say 'the people complex ain't much better '

@Sophia1 hi

Sorry my notifications have been playing up. I think there might be wires that need reconnecting at the sane headquarters ...

This is my third attempt to respond to your post @eudemonism

nothing to do with you..

totally to do with me..

I am not in a good way today and will be heading off to bed shortly...bury my head in a book then hopefully be tired enough to get some sleep

engaging in the world is important to a certain degree..

however there can be too much emphasis on that..

discovering your own interests that enlighten you is just as important..

when you feel refreshed by your own activities you radiate a vibe that draws more positive people to enter into your zone..

that is why group activities can be successful..

relying on people who live close by...spend time with you for their benefit and do not take into account your feelings and needs is not healthy for your growth..

setting those personal boundaries for those that push into your private space..

I have met people like this when I was in hospital...

I have had to separate myself from their company.,.

I understand your desire to be a part of a group or have a friendship...

the takers in the world are not a healthy mix for people like us who work twice as hard to have a quality of life..

They will not provide you with the meaning completion of life...they will zap your energy..

you are already on the right path to finding what your life is about by asking yourself questions....

needing to take a break from this at the same time too...

engaging in conversations with people with whom you connect on the forums..

even your humour in your last post about
wires..

Can you look at this from a different angle and ask yourself what you already have that is good in your life..

By the way have you been to visit the beach lately?

might be time to watch those waves....observe the clouds..

sorry I am not much help tonight..

I have not had a good day

goodnight Eude 💚

Sorry @Adge @Former-Member @eudemonism @outlander @Bunniekins

I wrote a lengthy post releasing my pent up emotions

talking about how blech I am feeling

it was very morose..

it is suspended somewhere ....

better left there..

I do not want to further upset you all as I know that you have more than enough to deal with already...

another time

💜