Living with Ourselves

Yes @Maggie

bureaucracy....mixed with incompetent staff who do not care....who treat people like a number....not what you need when looking for a permanent home.

that must be so frustrating for you...

the blossom has been beautiful..

I don't have any bulbs here ...there would be plenty sprouting at the house we sold last year...can't believe it is actually a year yesterday that we moved into here...good heavens..

I shall plant some bulbs when we get into the new place and get to the stage of planning the garden..

water is extremely healing...I can imagine the negative words impacting on the plant growth...that is why some greenhouses have classical music playing ...

You are doing amazingly considering what you have had to put up with of late in particular the housing crisis...

You are enough also Maggie....how hard we are on ourselves...

thank you for replying..

hope that you have some rest tonight.

Sophia 💚

Yes @Bunniekins

the people actually spoil the image...take away the tranquility...

I like quiet beaches and hate it when someone parks themselves close by when there are miles of empty beach for them to sit...

Look after yourself also dear pea...I miss my neighbours the cows...as in actual cows laugh...not rudely speaking about people as that term can be used that way...

I will leave it there before I put my foot in any further.

goodnight

sleep tight

Sophia💜

sorry to hear that you have had a hard day today @outlander

I imagine that it becomes all too hard at times of late...

do as little as others as is needed for their care..

then close your door and look after you...figuratively speaking also...

you are in preparation time for your operation ....your body needs rest...along with your mind...

you are probably sick of hearing all of this by now..

perhaps some of it might sink in...

I do understand as it is as though I am talking about myself from a younger age through many years....

up until my diagnosis really if I think about it..

hope that you too get some sleep...

we all on here need sleep that seems so hard to achieve..

goodnight

take care

Sophia 💜

@Sophia1 xxx

@Sophia1 last Thursday i changed the brand of coffee i been using for awhile now. And it seems to have made me start waking up early in the mornings. Which i hate because there's absolutely stuff all for me to do in the early hours of the morning . Apart from smoke and drink coffee + check my phone .

For awhile i was switching off all screens at sunset and just laying in bed and thinking in the dark until i fell asleeep and waking up at blue hour / day break. Feeling refreshed and ready for the day . But just recently it's been upset by something. Warming of the weather. A few big days of exercise (which made my depot meds release quicker ) food I've eaten . An alcohlic drink . Changing stuff around in the house . Not sure what's done it exactly... It's a process of elimination regards finding out and doing something about what's caused this waking up early in the morning . (Which i hate)

My dog just kept an eye on the other dog in the park . Who was there with his family . He's an avid watcher/starer of other dogs and animals. It's a collie or kelpie thing . I don't think he was overly worried about clouds . I do have to accept his behaviour and nature as he is . Otherwise I'd send myself mad trying to control him. Hence i just always keep him on a lead . I think the big thing with dogs . Is getting them into obedience classes and puppy school at a young age. But with my dog there was no puppy school or obedience classes because i couldn't afford it and i got him when he was already 2 or 3 months old . I've tried to teach him. But he's as arrogant and stubborn as they come. Likes to walk all over me if he can. However. Half the problem maybe myself worrying without good reason . Just seen clouds to, nothing specific came through .. I also seen alot of those black specs and squiggly lines in my vision .

Is it a brick or wood house you're having built? And have you been for any scenic drives recently?

Thanks for your kind thoughts & wishes @Sophia1

Much appreciated.

I'm totally overwhelmed, yet trying to be pro-active & caring.

Adge

ohhhh @Adge sorry you are feeling soo overwhelmed my friend xxx

Hello @Sophia1 , @eudemonism , @Bunniekins , @outlander

Hello @Shaz51 @Adge @eudemonism @Bunniekins @Maggie @outlander @Former-Member

I am not in a good state of mind at all..

my depression is back in full swing again..

I cancelled a carer's day out which would have been wonderful ...on the river...

I just could not face other people...I know that I would just melt and be crying...so rather than affect others and feel worse myself..I cancelled..

I mentioned on other thread I am putting off lunch with friends ...one in particular I get on very well with...I just cannot bring myself to go out to lunch with them...I am even frightened to tell them that I cannot make it at the moment...I hate being dishonest...

I don't want to see family...

I am just feeling blech..

will leave it there

do not want to bring any of you down as you all have your own issues..

You do matter to me..

Sophia

And you matter to us @Sophia1 . I am sorry you have had to cancel appointments today, I do understand why. Sometimes we just need space to cry and ease our way through our pain as best we can. Go gently if you can. 💜💕💜💕💜☕️☕️☕️