Living with Ourselves

Hello @Maggie

Your having to wait so long and being handed from one person to the next is disgraceful, incompetence...

Why is it that often when we are at our worst our specialists are off on holidays?

I can't complain actually mine has most school holidays off, not all of them though, for obvious reasons..

Waiting to see a pain specialist for 10 months is also negligent in my book...the health system is always failing in at least one area...usually mental health even though the funding is coming through...

closing down of hospitals has not helped in the least...quite the opposite...

I feel your frustration and my own building up as I respond to you..

Yes I am surviving...

am bored out of my brain...

cannot go for a walk yet as virus is still zapping all of my energy...

did water my pot plants though..that felt good...running water is therapeutic for me..

Surviving? some days I feel as though I don't want to and then feel very selfish and inconsiderate...

have to acknowledge all of our feelings though don't we...otherwise we become even more unwell..

It is a pity that there is not a back up plan in place with your gp whilst pain specialist is away or even one of their colleagues...

Well one comfort ...very small...it is now 25 days in fact 24 and a half days...

good to see you about...I do understand as much as I am able to how hard life is for you...you do incredibly well..another warrior and survivor as I refer to exoplanet..

Sophia💜

Thank you for the beautiful flowers @outlander

I hope that you are feeling better, read somewhere that someone had posted that you were not well..

Also that you are closing that door on other family members and looking after yourself first and foremost...

Hard ....becomes a definite usually when we leave it too late...

Sophia 💜

I know that I have posted this in the past..

I do love it though..

hope that it brings some calm, comfort to you all @eudemonism @Maggie @outlander @Bunniekins thinking of you too pea..

@Shaz51 @Adge

@Sophia1 i gave the fig tree a heavy prune during winter. And it's just started sprouting again . I've actually got two fig trees . However the other one is alot smaller and doesn't appear to be growing as fast as fig tree 1.

Yes i do budgets . Every fortnight . But there is always something else to spend money on. Apart from my smokes it all gets put to good use . Going to try and get new shoes . A decent clock . Block out curtains (for summer heat ) and a digital radio/stereo next pay . I'll be dipping into smokes money to get this stuff . And going without as a result.

Yea. I was in a bind this morning. So i went for a drive to a small town close bye and sat on the jetty for awhile . Soaked up the scenary . Went for a quick walk along the beech . And then laid on the grass and did some cloud watching. It was a healthy distraction. It was somewhat therapeutic. Me dog came along also .

When are you expecting your new house to be done?

Thanks @Sophia1 Lovely.

I'm having a hard time of it, sorry to say.

My brother C (who is blind & intellectually disabled) caught himself on fire, whilst cooking on Friday night.

He is in the intensive care unit of the burns unit, at a major NSW hospital (yesterday morning).

He is sedated & unconscious (apparently).

He has already had a skin graft operation on his neck, & then more this morning.

I tried to talk to my youngest brother about what’s happened to C – his response was to abruptly change the subject & refused to talk about it.

That’s exactly what he did (his response), when Dad died.

People on this forum have been really nice - my only supports at the moment.

So tired - neighbour's boom boom speakers went all last night (couldn't sleep), & then all through today (when trying to rest).

Kind thoughts to you. I'm gona lie down now.

Adge

@Sophia1 Hey Sophia1 that is a beautiful photo :). Maybe a bit too many people for this little green pea but the water looks so blue and the sand so clear it is lovely. How are you going beautiful lady? I hope life is treating you kindly and with care. Love peaxxx

@Sophia1 I can hear your frustration. When pain, physical and mental continue, it wears us down, wears us out. I understand completely when you say there are times you don’t want to go on, it takes tremendous courage to do that. If we knew how long and hard the journey would be, many or most of us might not have taken that first step. Warriors we all are, no doubt in my mind.

The problems I’m having is with housing. That’s been going on since last December. They keep changing their story, and asking me to repeat mine.

As for the specialist, he’s the only one doing all medical needs at the general hospital. Even Politicians get it wrong. Some days I have fight in me, other days I have none.

Spring is here, and blossom and bulbs are amazing. Oh for small miracles everywhere.

I do like the pic you posted. Something about water. Read a book about its healing powers and frozen crystals recently. Negative words distort growth in plants and the formations of water crystals.

You are doing the best you can. You are good enough. 💕💜💕💜

Dear @Adge

That is alarming news..

I hope that he is in the best of care and feels some level of pain relief soon.

I do not know much about the treatment other than there are different stages according to the degree level of the burns..

Perhaps tomorrow you could ring the hospital , identifying yourself as his brother who lives interstate and ask for updates..or you might already have this in place...

Are you able to make an appointment with your gp or therapist to discuss what has happened...have extra support..even extra medication temporarily if needed...

I believe that it would be beneficial for your own health to be able to open up about this as it is also triggering how you were treated by your family when your father passed away..

Also very strange how your family are treating you...

then many families do this to certain members...

my mum is doing it to me again..

Continue to open up as much as you feel comfortable in doing, Adge..also on a thread where you have made connections and feel supported.

Thinking of you and feeling for you

Sophia💜

hello @eudemonism

Good that you already are budgeting...I am sure that you have noticed where it has helped having some money put aside in emergencies..

Using money that would otherwise be spent on your tobacco is also a strong move..as you are making that a lower priority and looking after your self, pets, home.

block out curtains are very effective with keeping heat out and keeping the house cooler.

I am sure that it would have been lovely sitting on a jetty this morning soaking up everything going on around you...

Then you laid on the grass and cloud watched...wow..did you see anything that resembled something?

Was your dog looking up at the sky also following where you were looking?dogs are man's best friend...a very true statement...

Unsure about the exact finish time of new home...our builder is a local builder whom my husband has known for decades...he has a very cool...laid back attitude...and is hopeless at returning phone calls or text messages...so husband always goes to see him personally...even then he doesn't always follow through straight away ...

I think that he is building about 10 houses about the place not all where we live but up to 30 minutes drive away across the hills...so is very busy...

There is still a fair bit to be done and husband is finishing off stuff and doing some of the work himself..

I do hope that we will be in there by christmas...

Thank you for taking an interest...

I should be feeling ecstatic....but this blasted depression is lingering and depleting any energy that I have as well as the virus...

Each night I try to think about the colours and flooring etc...usually keeps me awake though..

Every morning I get up with the intent of a new and better day..

It will come..

You sound like you have a green thumb with the success of your fig tree....

Well bedtime ...pill time...hopefully get some sleep

hoping that you have a restful night too.

goodnight Eude

speak soon

Sophia 💚