Living with Ourselves

@Sophia1 take care. Hope all get better soon.

@Sophia1

Hi 💜 just contemplating life and my situation at present...

Doing what i got to-to get through ...

Eude

@Sophia1 and @eudemonism

@Sophia1

@Appleblossom

I freely & wantingly give my support @Sophia1 , as do many others
If I was with you I'd freely & wantingly give you a gentle hug & sit quietly beside
you
I don't think having your routine out of whack would be helping, I hope your therapy
session went well
My Father had a big booming voice, just his voice alone could reduce me to a shaking,
blubbering wreck. Sticks & stones they say about the bones, but words they lie about
them; they break the thought & emotional process in the brain - which affects the
whole body & that does hurt. I'm sorry your receiving verbal abuse from some family
members
Dealing with people that have known you your whole life, as family members do,
is exhausting; there is so much information involved, so much emotion, changing
so many thoughts so often.

The all powerful void of darkness,
nothing can withstand it,
it consumes all,

All a person can do is avoid it,
Not walk along the edge,
avoid the fall,

For once you have started the falling,
you may be forever
slowly falling

But even falling must stop one day,
then there is just darkness
empty delay

Everyone has so much going on in their lives. Particularly the forumites from this site; this site is sort of an official way of accepting that everyone has so much going on in
their lives, that those with different thought & emotional processes really can end up struggling a great deal.

I will be thinking of & supporting you, with or without words. Your post did not upset me in any way, I was grateful to receive it

Your state of mind at the moment is very important, it's a part of who you are & you are strong, you are healing & dealing with so much. You will get through

You look after you, believe in you & let yourself be proud of how compassionate & supportive you are

Love to you @Sophia1

ohhhh hugs @Exoplanet , @Sophia1 , @Gazza75 , @Appleblossom , @eth

Hello all

I had my therapist session on monday...prn increased...he listened to the message left on my phone by family member and confirmed that member was in psychosis.

I am so torn between wanting to support ..at the same time aggressive abuse triggering memories from my past.

I have been advised to step back for a while.

if I am no better or worsen in a couple of weeks he wants me back in hospital.

A part of me wants to go to escape the whole world..

the other part knows that everything around me will fall apart...

Everything that I have spent so much time on building up for younger son...older son with listening carefully...husband...new house...

I just dont want to think about it.

I am so very weary and worn down...I had lunch with son yesterday and my confusion and forgetting words, what I was doing was so obvious..

then I just hate myself..

old habits of mind destruction when illness takes over..

I spoke to husband about depression again and he was good, washed up the dishes and cooked dinner.

My back where latest operation was is very sore and a lot of bruising has come to the surface...I cant do my stretches for other major back operation...This is making me worse.

I have another therapist appointment in half an hour.

Thank you @Exoplanet

Feeling the gentle hug and your presence..warm and reassuring..

Thanking you for being over here also when you have far too much to deal with..

I find that in supporting others, recognising their pain distracts me from mine.

@outlander noticed you on the worry room. I am sorry that I did not remember to ask how your infection was affecting you still. I hope that your doctor is keeping a close check on your health. Also that your poppa's doctor is monitoring the situation there.

The crochet blanket must be starting to grow.

@eudemonism I understand the scenario of being able to put one foot in front of the other..one step at a time..You are a survivor and have such a good heart..

I am going to force myself to go outside for ten minutes to bring myself back to reality and try to shake off some of this blech...

To all others whom I have not specifically written to of late, I sincerely do not know where you are up to with your own struggles. I still feel for you the same

💚

Love to you @Sophia1 I'm a bit the same with losing track of what's going on for people. I'm always busy midweek and it feels like i lose track on those days and spend the weekend catching up, often missing out on real time connections with almost everyone. I want you to know I think of you often and send my warmest wishes when I do.

@Gazza75 @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Exoplanet ... you too

Hi @Sophia1 its nice to see you as always

I am glad that you have your therapist and your husband helping you offline with what I can imagine would be such a tough situation. When there is so much happening its hard to know whether your arther or marther and somethings thats ok.
I know that hospital can sound good but might not be ther best option at the time. Do you think hospital would help? Would it be worth asking about getting some extra supports rather then going to hospital such as a support worker, peer worker or somesort of other service that comes to your house and can take you out if you wish- would that be an option for you?

Im sorry to hear your in so much pain. Pain , limitations and mental health dont seem to go very well together. Can I ask when you may be having your other back operation and if youll have some good supports in place?

Please dont apologise for not remembering things or asking how I or others are. I can tell your not in the best place and I would like to be here as much as I can for you without you feeling any pressures or worries about how I am ok? The infection may/may not be gone pending another test. The symptoms have reduced which is a good sign but not completely. I see specialist on friday and will go from there. The blanket is slowly growing, I havent had as much motivation to do it as I would have liked but seem to be gettng one or 2 rows done each day-its a queen size so it takes a long while.

leaving these here for you too