Living with Ourselves

Hi @Sophia1 Thanks for your interest & understanding.

Buddleias are lovely, I remember. I've never had one.

It sounds like you have many lovely plants (some now gone, like mine).

The Sleep Clinic was where (how) I had my Sleep Apnea diagnosed - 2 overnight Sleep Studies, & 1 daytime one.

As for whether they helped me to recover, or manage better - no, because it's supposedly incurable. I do manage much better on the stimulant medication though (for 11 years), which has to be prescribed by the Specialist.

Antidepressants are not generally recommended for CPTSD or for Grief (which I've had lots of).

In any case, my body will not tolerate virtually any antidepressant (yes I trialled many).

They all put my blood pressure up to dangerously high levels (200/100).

I have always seen a Psychologist, not a Psychiatrist. They are far more accessible to me.

I saw a psychiatrist only once, more than 20 years ago - he said that I did not seem at all depressed (to him), when I probably was. He recommended that I see a psychologist instead.

In any case, I have much more faith in Psychologists (& psychology) than I do in Psychiatry. I've had almost 14 years of therapy, in bits (not all at once) - spanning almost 25 years.

You take care too Sophia.

Adge

Hello @Owlunar

So pleased to read that you are enjoying your luxurious accommodation...your apartment sounds lovely...

swimming in the pool whenever you can will be so relaxing for you..

I can't remember if you are able to read these days...do you read any current fiction? or are you a fan of the classics only?

I started doing some research on William Shakespeare the other day and The midsummer night's dream....can't remember if I mentioned this before or not...starting to sound familiar as I type the words...laugh...

oh well you can read it again or skim read like many people do these days...

I can actually tell when some people on here respond to many posts that they skimread...their responses out of context ...makes me laugh when I am feeling positive and strong...when very sensitive I at times find it insulting ....

we must accept each other's differences....

we certainly do have some parallels in our earlier lives....with family situation..

lovely that your father was able to say that to you in his last days....it clearly meant a lot to him...he needed to say that to you before he passed...I do wonder if that moment of irony was actually lost on him....or perhaps he took in every word and with his waspy stoic nature struggled to respond....I think that was lovely that you shared that conversation ...for both of you...

When my dad was in his last weeks he confused my sister and I...he would say that sister visited and brought me flowers....when I had just given them to him and spent some time talking about what he could see out of his window....that used to hurt me so much...then mum told me when she saw my tears one day..".oh he does that with your sister too..thanks you for her visit and even forgets that I have even been ...even though I am here most days..." They did not live far from the hospital and visited more often...where as I lived over an hour away...worked fulltime...on own with boys when they were at my place and not their father's...

I love the seat window on an aeroplane ...always ask for a seat window when I fly anywhere...fine with husband..he is not keen on taking off or landing....whereas I would love to be in the front with the pilot...working the controls myself...

it is an incredible feeling watching the landscape patterns and colours change as the plane reaches different heights...seeing the ocean meet the land...all of the matchbox cars....

looking forward to hearing more about your adventures.....

people you meet

breathtaking sights

enjoy Dec

big hug so that you don't feel so far from us here on the forums

Sophia

Hello @Adge

I was pleased to read that you have some benefit from all of the years that you have continued with the sleep clinic..

the part where we take responsibility in our health improvement is learning to accept our limitations and making ongoing adaptations as the need arises..

far harder than writing the words..

I do feel for you going through so much physical pain...altering your lifestyle....affecting the quality of your life....grief playing a major part...

I can understand now why you would not be on antidepressants....

I do hope that the psychologist you see specialises in grief training....it is quite a separate condition to generalised anxiety..

Yes I love my plants...I forgot to mention lillies...irises....calendula....clivia....native violets...proteas....callistemons...diosmas...other bulbs that continue to pop up even after being mowed over laugh...

is it possible to take a cutting of the yellow banksia rose...if so how would I best manage that?

@Adge@Owlunar@Maggie@Zoe7@eudemonism@outlander@MDT@Exoplanet

We are starting to prepare for packing...

oh my goodness...

is taking me all morning shuffling stuff ...

my head is in a spin..

I said earlier to husband...I cannot lift or pull..push therefore I will be calling you repeatedly as I need assistance and fill each box....knowing full well that is not going to work at all....oohhhh tension tension....!!!!!!

He hurriedly responded that hmm might have to see how that goes....might just have to do it myself...

Yes perhaps I said..however there are certain items that I want to pack myself....

The games begin laugh

stay tuned...

cooling off period over...house sold....cheque received waiting for settlement date...two weeks tomorrow laugh

all packed and out by then....cats moved and safely confined...hmmm interesting times

have been talking to both cats about lots of boxes coming...furniture going out of the door.....new visitors....

they dont like seeing suitcases appear ....so fun fun fun

Sophia

Moving is hard work at the best of times @Sophia1 so I can imagine it will be so much harder for you with your oresent limitations - that is tough Hon. You can only do what you can though

It will take time for the cats to be settled in the new home - they are very territorial creatures so the move will be a big deal for them. When I moved I got a room set up for my cat first with all her things in there and shut the door while I was moving everything else in - it made it so much easier for her to feel like she was 'home' and didn't take her long to get settled after that. She still has her own room and spends a fsir bit of time in there 0 especially in the warmer months. In winter she 'lives' by the heater though lol

@Sophia1 I have just done the move myself, so my heart goes out to you. It's hard to go gently with a deadline date. Listening if you need to get things off your chest, but I know sitting typing is hard for you also. Warm thoughts for what they are worth. 💜💕💛🐾🐾🐾

Hi @Sophia1 I love Lilliums, Irises, native violets, & virtually everything you said you have.

The yellow Banksia Rose should strike from cutting - a softwood stem might fare better than an older (harder) one. If you get some striking hormone (powder or gel), you success rate will be higher.

Nearly all roses are grafted onto a different root stock (different rose species), mainly because it's more resistant to root nematodes (which chew the roots).

I've seen Banksia Roses for sale, on their own (natural) roots - so maybe it's a type that is nematode resistant (& has strong roots).

No, my psychologist does not seem to be trained in grief work. She is well-trained in trauma work, which was the main reason for continuing to see her.

However, I've never accessed my trauma memories, due to generalised amnesia (covering childhood & early adulthood) - so it's been almost impossible to actually do any trauma work.

Adge

Hello @eudemonism@Adge@Maggie@Zoe7@outlander

Yes I am very happy at the property finally selling....

it has been a great pressure on my husband and I for too long

along with everything else that has been going on...

We will both miss it here of course as it is so private...quiet....a beautiful environment surrounded by cows and sheep on one side....horses opposite...no longer next door...even the alpacas are no longer next door...

many different types of birdlife also

beautiful stretches of dawn......and part sunsets ....we are on top of a hill....

a mass of stars at night...

we will still see some of this on a far smaller scale...there will be street lights where we are going to build

we will have some time now to do more that we want to...

so it is a huge relief...

much to do in such little time ...

I had a setback yesterday ....specialist rang last night...ringing again this morning...

hopefully will settle down...happened when I was sorting out office for packing

I just need to remember that there is very little that I can do and to take lots of breaks...

I just feel in the way and annoyed with myself....

it is my nature to help...

have to listen to my own words for a change...easier said than done

take care all