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Niquas Notes

Unknown userMember07 Feb 2018, 1:09 pm AEDT

Niquas Notes

I thought I might try some 'journalling' . Just write a little blurb out each day, basically what I'm already doing . . . just giving it a name . . a title, I suppose? But to give it some 'umph' in my head I'm going to try & remember how to start a new thread & call it 'Niquas Notes' 🙂
It's not even 11.30am & I'm having a tomatoe & onion sandwich for lunch 🙂 I think I've been forgetting to 'get around' to a few meals lately. It's pretty good 🙂
I think I need to go into town today & check the post office, I may have a parcel to collect (evil ebay again!). I might get some meat while I'm in there (probably sausages ;)), I don't think I've had a lot of it lately - though I had Tuna in some fried rice the other night 🙂 Pretty sure I've got a couple of DVDs to collect from the library too 😉 {which means waiting until after 2pm at least as they close from 1-2pm for lunch} Today being Wednesday, it's an off-lead walk day, so I'll take the puppies along & drop into the local Forest on the way back home 🙂 I really enjoy that walk myself, it might be one I've done a million times, but that's sort of part of what I think I really enjoy about it?;)? & of the camp trips, beach walks & places that I have been going to for a little while now - the local 'home' forest walk still gives us the most freedom & me the most confidence 🙂
I think I am recovering from the xmas kerfuffle. I've just polished off a banana, which I would normally have at breakfast, so I've just combined morning & midday meals 😉 & I've got a bottle of water with just a touch of Apple Cider vinegar in it :x I actually quiet like the tang & I do beleive my insides appreciate it 🙂 I've been having quite a few nasty waves of nausea washing over me for a while now.
I need to start 'beating myself up a bit' about the housework! I did get some dishes done before I went away, but there's still a mountain of pots and pans there!! & my mountains of dirty washing are growing death defying peaks!!! I did also get 1/2 the yard mowed, but the other half is overgrown & the 1st 1/2 could do with a trim (00)! & the general clutter continues to compact.
I must look online at what the costs of registering my puppies will be in my council, maybe I can do that while I'm in town? If I got the genny going & started tackling the dirty washing, I could mow my little fella's feet inbetween cycles . . . & then we could go to a favourite 'look-out' spot for a walk 😛 . . . that'd be nice 🙂
Well, by the time I get online, it'll be past Potatoe hour. So I'd better stop blurbing & post 😉
Love to all that need or want it, everything positive gratefully accepted 🙂
❤️

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In response to: Niquas Notes

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor04 Apr 2018, 2:45 pm AEST

Re: Niquas Notes

That’s true @Former-Member ...... you have the choice to self-preserve and step away ...... and if you do that, it can just be for a while ......

These are very difficult decisions to make, and it can become very confusing ...... so yes, a short list is best, and you can always repeat the process later if short lists (short term goals) are working.

💜

In response to: Niquas Notes

BunniekinsSenior Contributor04 Apr 2018, 2:49 pm AEST

Re: Niquas Notes

@Former-Member Niqua before you send any letters to your daughter in all honesty I would like to see your pdoc or psychologist. You have to get yourself better first sweetheart have a clear head before you send any letters to your daughter. There is no rush to do this but you want to do it right. But you are an intelligent woman with a good heart I know you will come to the right decision.

In response to: Niquas Notes

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor04 Apr 2018, 3:00 pm AEST

Re: Niquas Notes

I am concerned about you making such an overwhelming decision alone @Former-Member ...... I would be running it past a counsellor first, Not because you can’t manage, but because they may be able to see something you are missing ...,,. Or they may have enough experience to be able to give you a stronger idea about what is likely to be the most workable approach.

Hugs ...... sitting with you ......

💜

In response to: Niquas Notes

TABSenior Contributor04 Apr 2018, 3:24 pm AEST

Re: Niquas Notes

thats a lot to put on yourself @Former-Member isnt she an adult and has choices despite the generational thing .. its a sticky one, do whatever feels right I guess

In response to: Niquas Notes

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Apr 2018, 4:07 pm AEST

Re: Niquas Notes

Oh..i didnt realise she had a mh issue however it can still be pretty confronting reading that.
@Former-Member i agree with the others. This is a big becision and think it would be worth speaking to a psych about and het their take on things too.

Theres always the option to take a breather and come back to it when your ready. I can hear how worried you are though and stewing on it might make it worsr for you too. Can see both sides.
Perhaps you could try to organise a visit with them and express your concerns in person and just msg that your really worried about them and theres some things you would like to talk about with her and to arrange a time to meet up?

In response to: Niquas Notes

CheerBearSenior Contributor04 Apr 2018, 4:38 pm AEST

Re: Niquas Notes

Not lots of words but lots of these ❤ @Former-Member . What you're going through is painful, so painful, but you're getting there and you're doing it with a lot of consideration, reflection and thinking it through.

Hugs x

In response to: Niquas Notes

Unknown userMember04 Apr 2018, 5:17 pm AEST

Re: Niquas Notes

Hi @Former-Member - I have been in a similar situation to yourself and it isn't easy at all. There are no easy answers and the outcome is not always the desired one. With my daughter and her risky lifestyle - I did talk to her and advise showing compassion - "but at the same time I had to eventually step back and let her make her own decisions and let her live her own life" - as it's her life and my daughter being an adult is the one responsible for her decisions and the consequences. This has helped me preserve our relationship.

Throw away any guilt from the past, it's done and dusted. What matters is doing the right thing for all concerned now. We live and we learn - that's what matters.

But if my daughter - or anyone I knew for that matter, had offspring and was placing them in danger because of their negligence (no lock on the garage door where children can access drugs etc) or where being abused or at risk for any reason - I would try to reason with my daughter or whoever responsible first yes; "but if children still remained at risk after trying the latter first I would not hesitate to act where necessary to prevent any harm to those vulnerable children". That is the pressing issue. Living with the consequences if anything happened to them and I did nothing about it turning a blind eye, would see my mental health decline rapidly.

Wishing you and your family healing, love and peace ❤️

In response to: Re: Niquas Notes

Unknown userMember04 Apr 2018, 5:58 pm AEST

Re: Niquas Notes

Thank you everyone for everything.

I seem to be having difficulty with time. I just checked my phone, the last message I sent I told my daughter I didn't want to talk to her right now, I couldn't control my emotions. I checked the date, it was 2 weeks ago, I was thinking it was only days ago.

That's a really weird feeling.

For now I've decided not to do or say anything, I'm not in the right state of mind.

I've gone from feeling desperate to feeling burnt out.

In response to: Re: Niquas Notes

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Apr 2018, 6:04 pm AEST

Re: Niquas Notes

@Former-Membersounds like a good plan. is there anything you can do tonight as abit of self care?

In response to: Re: Niquas Notes

AppleblossomSenior Contributor04 Apr 2018, 6:11 pm AEST

Re: Niquas Notes

Gently @Former-Member

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