Niquas Notes

Dear Niqua. Only just found your post. How sad this time of realisations about some of the dynamics in your relationship with your child. I can feel the pain in your heart and mind.

Limited by an overcrowded brain in this hectic time and place, I first of all think: most situations are not fully black or fully light. At the moment, justifiably feeling betrayed and neglected, the shadows are deep for you. But it may be more possible than it currently seems to salvage a better, more equal and respectful relationship with your child. It may involve a lot of patience, some missed phone calls, and continued standing of your ground. But don't give up on some faith and hope that, with time, things can improve between you and your child.

Complete despair is to be avoided, as it is likely to be one of those biochemical extremes we can be prone to.

I wish I wasn't on this slow old mobile and could convey better thoughts to you.

At the least know that you have many 'penpal' friends here who have come to care a lot about you, and who will do our best to walk alongside you in this journey and struggle to love both your child and yourself in a more equal balance.

Lots of love, Mazy oxoxoxo

@Former-Member

I got a call from my child tonight. I genuinely forgot to take my phone with me when I went to the next town over for my Sunday movies. I hoped when I saw that I'd missed 3 calls that they were concerned about me, as they hadn't called last night. I found out that my childs new cars motor has overheated & no longer goes. I don't think I've mention the large scratch, well it's a long dint, that was put in the car whilst I was there over xmas. Both these things have happened while the partner had the car.

Niqua, so sorry to hear of the latest bad news with your child's family. Love and hugs to you. Mazy oxox @Former-Member

😔💜 @Former-Member .....

I had a terrible argument with my child when they called this evening. My anger really is totally out of control & it spewed forth in a yelling, shouting, swearing mess. I ended the call. My child rang back, hysterically crying, whimpering - I could not feel sorry or sympathy for them. The anger spewed out again. The call ended with them screaming. I don't know what's happened. I don't know how I feel.

I went into the bank today to see how the loan is going & why I have no information about it. They set it up so I could check it online. I knew I was looking to see the thousand dollar gift I'd given my child at xmas, I wanted them to come into the bank with me to make the payment, but they were too busy. They told me to put it into their account & they would make the payment. It wasn't there.

I feel kind of hollow, like a big hole has been blown out of my middle. I don't think I have ever gotten so angry at my child. I really attacked their choice of partner. I think it was to try & stop me attacking them - though I did that too. They're very frail at the moment, they're very frail all the time, I don't think they are being honest about their own neuro-biological disorders, or their partners, they both make such unhealthy financial decisions. What have I done to those poor children, their Mother was screaming.

@Former-Member Oh Niqua most parents do the best they can with what they have at the time. I just know you are one of those parents. Sweetie dont torture yourself about what ifs, the past is the past the future starts today. Grab hold of it and move forward head held high .... please foremost look after yourself. Lots of love the pea xxx