Niquas Notes

Oh, dearest Niqua! How awful this frightening moment between you and your child. I am reminded of an occasion several years ago when I had a similar wildly angry episode with my mother. We couldn't speak to each other for a few months. And yet here we are, having just spent three peaceful, kind weeks together and all is well.

I know that at this moment things feel very dark for you, that you are afraid of what has occurred, that you are understandably concerned for your child's wellbeing. I know it might feel there is no hope. But I am here to tell you these things are survived and overcome with time, that great healer. Mum and I have had so many awful times over the years and decades, with anger and abuse thrown from either side. But peace has prevailed in the long run, as it can too for you and your child.

The fact is you have been driven to this point of anger by financial abuse, neglect and lack of respect. It may well be that there was no other way to wake your child up to how truly unacceptable it has been. Please forgive yourself this outburst and give yourself as much time as it takes to do this.

Mum now says that my terrible outburst several years ago taught her so much, including things that have led to a better relationship now and beyond.

But enough banging on about hope from me. It may be hard to hear when you may be feeling so much despair.

Know at the least that I write all this to convey my love and caring for you, even if it is not all that much help.

I am waiting to board the plane home as I write this. Looking forward to being there and able to write more often and easily, with better focus and connection.

Biggest hugs, Mazy oxoxoxoxox

@Former-Member

@Bunniekins @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Mazarita

Thank you for your light

@Former-Member ..... ❤️

@Former-Member

I don't know what to do. I even pressed the button for the lifeline online chat, but they don't work until night time. I can't make phone calls, I'm usless. I can't trust my own judgement, am I blowing this all out of proportion - have I ruined everything over nothing - have I just put my child through more misery. I think my childs partner has been abusing my child financially since they met. I don't think it is love that keeps them together, I think it's tolerance of the problems they see in each other and that they enable those problems with each other. I don't think the partners parents are making the situation any healthier, they made the statement that the 3 elder children were not their grandchildren, only the 2 younger children were; that is genetically correct and probably legally, but I think it is blatently obvious they are only supporting thier grandchildren. I am very concerned about my childs state of health right now and all 5 of my grandchildrens. My eldest grand daugther seems to be going off the rails, but I know some time ago she came home one night very drunk & told her mother she'd been through rape, yet to my knowledge all her mother did was get very angry at the disgusting behaviour of her daughter being so drunk. If she was raped she needs help, if she wasn't what made her so desperate to make such a serious accusation - she still needs help. I know there is marajuana in the shed at all times, and the shed doesn't even have a latch never loan a lock - it is completely accessable by all the children, I think my eldest may already be doing so. I smoke marajuana, but I do not condone children being exposed to it. I don't know what to do.

@Former-Memberwhat about connecting to chat with Sane?

im not sure on what to say to help but am listening

have you spoke to your child about your grandgirl and your concerns?

Hi @Former-Member,

I can hear that things are overwhelming right now and that you're unsure of where to turn. I hope that we can support you somehow. I'm sending you a check in email.

It's so hard to talk to my child, I've never been honest about that to myself. I have just let this happen for too long.