I know this post is going to be 'moderated', but I really don't care.

@Former-Member Well we all think you are a great asset to the forums! You are very likeable ... it will be okay you will be fine I am sure. Please don't talk about yourself like that because it is not true. You will have your relationships. I tell my son the same thing. There is someone special for everyone if they want it.

@Former-Member I can hear how angry and frustrated you are around this. Not knowing can be hard, right now it sounds pretty crappy, however just as your feelings come and go this urge for knowing right now will ease too. It sounds as though it is consuming you and that is ok. We are all here with you and want you to hear that we like you just the way you are. You are a great dinosaur to have around 🙂

Please remember the Help Centre is available if you feel that might be helpful.

@Former-Member is this something yo have spoken with him about face to face?

It sounds like its a very clear goal of yours and something you really want to achieve. Maybe that's an important point you can visit within therapy with him one session.

I'm hearing you 🙂

What I think you are saying @Former-Member is that you have clearly told him about your goal of being a mother, but he seems to be hedging about giving you a clear reply .... is that correct ?

I asked him clear and direct questions:

• How long do you think this process is going to take?
• Are my goals achievable (for me)?
• You’ve said a number of times that with therapy I won’t ever need to go into hospital again. Is this true and if so, would I be able to go off medication as well?
• I’ve noticed that you interrupt me every time I start to zone out, I have to confess zoning out is significantly more preferable than being in the present moment, but, why do I zone out the very second I get emotional/angry/sad etc? And how do I stop myself?
• Is it actually working? Am I doing the right thing? And I guess I also wonder how it works if I can barely remember one week to the next; is it dependent on me clearly remembering what you say?
• Why is my memory so bad? I know largely it’s got to do with how easily and frequently I zone out, but not being able to remember anything clearly drives me bonkers.
• What would you say my diagnosis is? Everyone else has been playing funny buggers with me around the issue - last time I was in hospital they asked ME what I wanted put down as my diagnosis, which I think is a f****ing joke. Everyone’s happy to hospitalise me, but no one's willing to tell me why.

Or at least, I feel they were clear and direct.

And I expect a clear and direct answer back. And I'm not getting it.

And what he has done is set me up to feel horribly about myself by not telling me and only giving me half answers.

Therapy will apparently take "as long as I want it" - how is that an answer? Will I never reach my goals of being able to have a relationship/have a family? Will I never get well and healthy?

Diagnoses can change is pretty much what he said to me.

All I got was jerked around and just reinforces that what goes on inside my head is true.

I don't know if I'm going to go back.

That is quite a list of things to answer @Former-Member .....

I am seeing several possibilities

a) that it will take several appointments to address the list

b) that the answers are not straightforward or black and white, and choices you make will affect the outcomes - if so he will need to explain all that to you

c) that he is considering his answers to you

d) he doesn’t know how to answer you and expects to work it out with you as you go along in sessions