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Something’s not right

I don't know what to do

I don't know what to do

I have this love hate relationship with my mania and voices etc. The only reason I stay on my medication is because of my children and I really don't want to get into trouble with the boys in blue which can so easily happen when you are manic .... I miss the highs which are so high, I miss some of my voices and I have to be very strong to stay in this real world when the other is so enticing and exciting compared to this reality.

My psychiatrist says to develop relationships with neighbours etc (which I have been doing) study (I have been trying), all I want to do is to float away. I dont want to be apart of this world this consumerist society to be a cog in a wheel of some corporation ,but if I stop taking my medication I will go mad again so I am caught in this no win situation where I cannot go forward because I hate what I see around me and will not go backward because I do not want to go mad again.

45 replies

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In response to: I don't know what to do

Re: I don't know what to do

I hear you little pea @Bunniekins! I am middle-aged and in a permanent relationship, I want to be sane rather than be skinny and off the rails. A decade ago I couldn't be left unsupervised for more than an hour at a time, I certainly don't want to return to that!

In response to: Re: I don't know what to do

Re: I don't know what to do

@Queenie Jesus that was me! Just hold my hand Queenie and tell me I am going to be alright.

In response to: Re: I don't know what to do

Re: I don't know what to do

I have faith we'll both be alright in time @Bunniekins. Just think of how far we've come on our journey.

In response to: I don't know what to do

Re: I don't know what to do

HI @Bunniekins, heat is not good, especially with the humidity. Hope to see you on here again. Feels like ages since we had a good talk

In response to: Re: I don't know what to do

Re: I don't know what to do

Hi @Bunniekins hope you are well today and it is a little cooler for you 💖

In response to: Re: I don't know what to do

Re: I don't know what to do

@Former-Member I feel like I am in Singapore atm lol. I am alot better in my heart today. I think the extra medications I have been taking are helping at long last to be honest and I will let Dr G know what I have been doing whilst he has been doing his doctoring elsewhere (serves him right for not being around when I needed him!).

How are you going? Are your new medications helping at all? Or is it too soon do you think?

More so how are you surviving the school holidays with your children, your mother and your MI? That is alot to cope with.

In response to: Re: I don't know what to do

Re: I don't know what to do

@Bunniekins Is humid here too. I am the extra meds are helping you, that has to be a good thing. It is bad when our support people go away just when we need their support. Counting down the days till I see my psych next😐

Mum gone away to her sisters which gives me a break thank god. Meds increased during day and new overnight med included to my other one. These one are not giving me many side effects which is good. PDoc pissed me off the other day but another time. Spent last night in 😔 but home now.

In response to: Re: I don't know what to do

Re: I don't know what to do

@Former-Member Big hugs for my favourite girl .... count down to the new year. Let us cross our fingers and toes it will be a beautiful new year for all of us! xx

In response to: Re: I don't know what to do

Re: I don't know what to do

Hopefully so @Bunniekins. I know hubby wants to go out but I am staying in my bed I think. I don't like new years eve. I think Zoe is planning to do something on here so will probably spend New Years Eve with forum land!!!

In response to: Re: I don't know what to do

Re: I don't know what to do

@Former-Member Yay! I never go out ... did once when I was about 16 to a party and was bitterly disappointed lol. How is @Zoe7 havent seen her around ... I hope she is okay. I will stay up for the Forumland fireworks at 9pm for older members like myself and @Former-Member and @eth us old codgers need our extra sleep lol

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