I don't know what to do

Hi there little pea @Bunniekins, Apologies for not being around very much. I have been reading posts here and there and yours really struck a chord with me because I am going through very much the same thing. I struggle to stay in the world where others are (the so-called 'normal world'). The world which my mind has created is far too enticing for me. Where manic highs are so far removed from the depressing shackles of the normal world (where I am depressed all the time). I've been hearing my crew of voices more and more and the dangerous yet friendly Redman has made another appearance. I used to be frightened of him, but I don't think he means me any real harm.

My pdoc has reduced my medication instead of dealing with me. He is of the opinion my medication levels could easily become toxic, so I've been halved in dosage. This is allowing me to feel more highs again. I've been told to avoid shopping centres and although I went Boxing Day and it felt euphoric, all the same, I felt overwhelmed by voices vying for my attention above the crowds.

I hear you little pea of green!

@Queenie Hi Queenie I cannot tell you how happy I am to see you and hear your words that I am not alone with this. Not that I would wish this on anyone but to know that others experience the same things makes it seem more normal than it would otherwise. Making it more normal makes it more bareable.

I havent been to a shopping mall in about a month even talking about shopping in one makes me feel anxious. that I would have these urges ... around crowds I am not good.

Stupid MI.

Thanks again Queenie.

Good morning @Bunniekins, I hope you got some sleep last night and are okish today.

Worried about you hun

@Former-Member Hi beautiful NellBell am going back to bed as my sleep due to my son was awful last night. I hope you are oakish (actually I wish you were feeling fabulous! today). Have a nice day and take care of yourself. xx

@Bunniekinsok hun, get some sleep, will talk later

I do hope you got some restful sleep little pea @Bunniekins!

I've been absolutely crackers of late. Although my GP doesn't believe me, I believe the heat and humidity aren't helping my mania and voices. They are getting progressively worse, the reduction in medication isn't helping I don't think either.

@Queenie Hi Queenie yes this heat is affecting me too really badly the voices arent bad right now but am exhausted and feel ill. Definately affecting my mania as well ... feelings of being out of control so I settle down at home and feel better because of that. Cannot hide at home forever though can I ??

If heat is definately a trigger for you .... why are they reducing your medication? if it is because they are afraid it is becoming toxic why are they not chagning the medications around for you? I have told Dr G on several occasions that I am 53 I do not care if I am a bit over weight I just want my sanity ... this half half approach does not work for me as the temptation to go off my meds or act up is there ... my MI symptoms have to be totally quashed for me to have a chance at leading a normal life.

@Former-Member Hi NellBell I feel so sick and exhausted with the heat. The humidity is so high where I live I hate it it definately makes a HUGE difference to my MI. I hope you are okay and not dying from this oppressive heat ... I might go and have a shower.