Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

Thats a compliment to you. Drugs and alcohol arent great if he wants to keep health and intelligence though. Can I call you Ann?

Oh My, i can't believe what sort of treatment you both have recieved from men @PeppiPatty and @Former-Member, it breaks my heart to hear such horrid tails of men and their treatment of you both and others on here, i am starting to wonder if i am abnormal, so many men are abusive. i could never do any of that to a woman, you are such kind people, how can someone do this to you!!!!

life is just not fair.

Often people can rise to the occasion even though they dont have self belief .. other times, sadly, people dont.

I havent had a enough good chats about this kind of stuff. Its my pleasure @Jacques

@Appleblossom,

Dear appleblossom, you are allowed to call me Anne. What about you ? Ive always personally liked the name Maggie or Isabella. How about that?

It shouldnt be normal for men to hurt women, but it is common, and your instincts seem pretty good you should not have to 2nd guess your self. So we are back to the what is normal issue. But most times I go round the merry-go-round, I learn something, with just a little more sensitivity.

OOOh I prefer Isabella .. not much of a Maggie .. I think of the iron English lady or the magazine oz one and cringe.

It shouldnt be normal.. and i dont think it is really.. just over represented here maybe..

You're a wise soul @Appleblossom, you're right, going over things, hearing different perspectives and stories, does deepen our understanding and awareness in new ways.. which really helps me... because it depersonalises it a little bit.. i can think about it through a new 'lens' so to speak instead of just not being able to breathe because of the memories it brings up. so it is good to be able to have these discussions. Thank you all

lj

Hi @Former-Member & @Appleblossom, this topic is very close to me as i live in a town with the highest domestic violence rates in NSW, it is so sad to think it goes on where i live every night of the week, and no one cares.

Week after week, the reports in the paper are just full of police reports, so much violence in society. to much

my son stopped talking to me because i told him he's cut me out of his life and now hes moved out of Grandmas home, hes cutting her out of his life. also i owe him for his birthday I forgot. Ille try and repair tomorrow with his present and card. I actually think I forgot both of their birthdays so Ive got severe being nice to them for a while. In the olden days. When they were young, no expense was spared for amazing birthday parties. But now. All I pray for is a bit of slack.

@Jacques, this is how I see it. I'm hoping that @Former-Member will agree..

We basically live in a paternalistic society .....and how me and @Former-Member and I respond to whats happened to us is what matters.

how i react to my father and exboyfriend and stalker is what matters. In the past, i found out that the stalker had a partner who was very scared of him and she ended up moving state. But she calls him on the phone all the time.

Yes @Jacques the prevalence of conflict and violence is sad and so common that I am amazed.

But I dont think it is all men's fault and I am glad that there are a lot more men's groups than there used to be. The way males were socialised was often unhealthy but probably the best fit for the time and place that was possible,

In spite of all the good reforms .. it is the pressure of today's society that often renders some of those advances inadequate. Thank you all for chatting. I need to go and do some music practise. Goodnight.