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Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

AppleblossomSenior Contributor17 July 2015, 9:58 pm AEST

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

I get so tired of being strong and being positive and thinking of a new approach. I feel pull out positivity like a rabbit from a hat but that it can become false. I am now hypersentsitive and ambivalent about whether I should continue to post or withdraw.

I have had low self-talk and concentration poor.

My son has been the most loyal of all my family to me ..it worries me because he is vulnerable too.

Nobody else cares and I put a lot of effort into family events for decades.

I started swearing and calliing myself piece of dirt and other things like I am becoming a teenager.d .. but i dont want to have to be teenage boy all the time ..

I would like to have been useful

I have managed to get some help and am grateful, for what has worked.

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In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

AppleblossomSenior Contributor18 Oct 2015, 12:32 am AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

I like my mince ... making up a huge batch of spag bol tomorrow .... lots for the freezer.

Yes I get a lot out of our extra MI conversations ... not just question and answer ... or problem and solution ... but sharing about the whole caboodle ...

I am seeing my GP finally this next week ... I wonder how it will progress

@Jacques must know I think he is gorgeous and has just gotta get himself a lovely lady one day.

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

PeppiPattySenior Contributor18 Oct 2015, 4:18 am AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

I love eating veges chopped up small heaps of garlic soy sauce : oyster sauce an sweet chilli sauce mince all tossed up with rice
Then .....Fish the next night
I love that @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

AppleblossomSenior Contributor18 Oct 2015, 8:41 am AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

except for the son's girl .. doesnt like the smell of onions etc... which means I have had to develop recipes without onions and garlic or leek ... which for me are a staple of cooking.

Its lovely for people to be PROUD of their sense of smell ... but it isnt everything ..

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

AppleblossomSenior Contributor21 Oct 2015, 8:27 pm AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

Had a lovely walk (30 min) by the river yesterday ...I noticed the algae was out of control on the river ... and made a couple walking their lovely labrador laugh ... by saying I'd fall for it ... not them.

Today I had long awaited 2nd appointment with GP she could be perfect for me .... and wants me to keep booking double appointments, so we can talk, and agreed to do referral to psychiatrist in a month ... I had to tell her I couldnt see 3 of the local shrink cos I had taught in their families ...She offered to up anti-deps which I refused but I opened a discussion re anti-psychotics ... she wanted to know about intrusive thoughts and agreed they were difficult, that I am angry and have a right to be angry ... but I loved it when she used the word "Bourgeousie" ... cos she can see, and I know, that I my rage against middleclass hipocrisy gets in the way of making a flourishing business.

Oh I was anxious again and arrived 2 hours early for GP's appointment time ... made receptionist laugh when I said "at least I am keen" and came back at correct time. I was terrified I would miss it ... so afraid If I relaxed guard ... 3 hours in dream land would flash past and my credibility would be down the tube ... so bad at judging the passage of time ... was that 1 min or 1 hour ????

The GP also understood my frustration with psychologists ... for not wanting to talk about blood ... or my lack of being impressed by being told to put a piece of chocolate in the fridge and tell son not to touch it ... as example of healthy boundaries. I told the GP I did not want to waste tax payers money ... she said You are not ... but do need a diagnosis ... she cant give more than anti-deps without an official label ... I am ok with that ... but I still have to wait ...

I had hoped I would walk out of her session with a referral in my hot little hand ... oh well .... maybe I should take all my clothes off and walk down the street .. will that get me psychiatric attention do ya think?

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

Unknown userMember21 Oct 2015, 8:42 pm AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

Oh no @Appleblossom police would probably just put you in the drunk and disorderly cell 😀

I'm so glad that the social worker was nice and glad that you upended up to her. Fingers crossed they can help you out!

The dr sounds great and really supportive. And might even know what she's doing!?!? Finding someone you can b honest with is so important... I like my gp but he is a bit domineering for me in lots of ways but understanding too... I agree you are not wasting tax payers money when you do indeed need and deserve the help. But I struggle a bit with that and feeling like a bludger not working etc...
I am always early like that too!! I can't stand to be late or miss something because i just think oh my gosh what will they think? Will they be angry with me? Etc etc kids get so frustrated waiting places because we so early! Time sometimes goes without noticing too.
I used to have private health but I realised that by the time I paid the gap and the monthly premium it was more than o would have paid anyway but out here there isn't much that's really worth going private for whereas the clinic you looked at maybe really worth it for you!
Please keep your clothes on 😜
Hopefully this month will go quick for you to get that referral
Lj

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

MazaritaSenior Contributor21 Oct 2015, 8:46 pm AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

Hi @Appleblossom

Lovely to hear about your river walk, passing time with strangers and meeting a labrador. Those kinds of experiences happen more often to me now that I'm getting out of the flat regularly. The beach is a quietly social environment and also has dogs. I'm now also enjoying walking trips to the local shopping precinct. That's a motley collection of op-shops, cafes, take away places, hairdressers, bulk-billing doctors and other services. Sometimes I instead bus it up the road to the next suburb, another interesting beach-and-shopping area. Smiles and hellos to strangers at times and sometimes a little conversation.

I understand your anxiety surrounding appointments. It's only recently I've been able to keep them regularly without the huge anxiety. Before that it was several years of almost giving up on trying because I kept missing them so much. Just couldn't get myself out the door.

Glad to hear you are developing a good rapport with your GP, even though you sound a bit disappointed that she didn't refer you to a psych straight away. Are you thinking of seeing a psychiatrist or a psychologist or both? I've got an appointment with my GP tomorrow to get a 'mental health care plan' to see a psychologist specifically about my addictions, past and present. My psychiatrist agrees I could use specialised counselling about this. I haven't spoken about it much on the forum before because I don't think I can be completely open about it here.

You've certainly got a few things to think about and research, which could be interesting if the mind doesn't whirl you away too far. Warm feelings your way.

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

AppleblossomSenior Contributor21 Oct 2015, 9:32 pm AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

Thank you ladies ... I will try and be good.

At least I have proved to myself that i have a sense of humour ... and can make others laugh .... with me ... not at me.. well but I give them permission to be light-hearted in many presence.

Just hugged son good bye on his 2nd mini trip away this year ... to Wilson's Prom ... with Japara, Akubra and board shorts ... so ready for all weathers.

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

MazaritaSenior Contributor21 Oct 2015, 9:41 pm AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

@Appleblossom Yes, I hear the humour in some of your posts. Funny that you turned up so early for the appointments and afterwards contemplated nudity. Hope the time out treats you and your son well. 🙂

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

PeppiPattySenior Contributor21 Oct 2015, 9:43 pm AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

Hi @Maritza
I've only been able to get a grip on my addictions this year .... I feel they get triggered very easily whenever
I see my Mum .....
I'm very tired
I need to have a very calm life

My oldest son spoke to me today ..... Amazing. He is trying to quit smoking.

I stay very calm on the phone to him. My husband as usual was good good ' okay buddy catch up soon.'

Please stay in touch with me about addictions.

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

PeppiPattySenior Contributor21 Oct 2015, 9:47 pm AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

@Appleblossom is drunk and disorderly ! Isabella !! We are getting. Kitten for Arlo before Christmas and calling her Isabella

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