living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@mudsum

the only good thing ive found and thats being here on the forums and yes ive got a lot of crap to deal with esp being a younger age- it really is hard and apparently no one else can see that

It is soo hard!!!! so extremly hard. And so exhausting, days that feel like youve got nothing left to give. but sounds as though your doing it. Good on you!!!

do you have parts? DID?

@outlander ohh sorry maybe thats what MI means? does that mean you have 5 parts?

Glad you're doing better @mudsum. I had more than a year of good times and then have just recently plunged again. I guess that's the way it goes. So many people = so many things that can go wrong. But we go on, right? That's the one thing we're all good at 🙂

Hi I am new to the forum. I also have DID. I was diagnosed around two years ago but had suspected it for many years. I have some child parts that are very prominant but also alot of adult parts as I sufferered horrific ongoing trauma as an adult too. I find that I am co-conscious with many of my parts but there are many I do not know. I have a long way to go in 'discovering' what actually happened to me, for now its trying to be patient and meeting my parts, learning thier roles, needs; setting boundaries and a lot of compromise.

hi @ludo,

welcome to the forums.

i only have child parts and im not co-conscious with any of them i know there are at least three but possibly more while i have trouble learning specifics about my alters apart from others telling me what i do and how they act. while i am almost completly aware of the trama i went through there is still some stuf that is vague. as for their roles well if i get stressed, overly upset, scared or emotionally overwhelmed they take over as my only experience with dealing with strong emotion is in a childlike state and i have never allowed myself the opportunity to deal with thing from an adult mind frame and that is what my psychologist is trying to help me correct in the hopes that i can control myself from switching.

Hi @Former-Member and @mudsum

Thanks for your kind welcome,

I guess I am pretty much co conscious most of the time now.

In my head, I will be either alone or other times parts will be with me and they will talk to me or influence my behaviour. I hear them talking to one another as well. Other times a part will take over by body and mind but I can still listen and watch or at least be aware. I can communicate with them whilst they are out. Other times I am really foggy and am a bit unsure of what is going on, but I don't fully disappear, i don't think - well, that's still questionable.

Its taken a long time to get to this point and a lot of writing in my journal, talking with counsellors, psychiatrists (good and bad) and inviting parts to come meet with me or write in the journal. Our biggest problem is the memories and whether to believe them or not. We have a lot of conflict over wanting to know the truth and staying in denial. Even when memories surface we don't believe them anyway. We just think we made it up and feel bad that we would make up such horrible stories.

@Former-Member Regarding controlling switching. I am guessing your parts will need to know that you can handle stressful situations before they will allow you to stay in those situations. With your psychologist you perhaps may need to role play what to do and say in particular situations and let them (your parts) watch you practice. Perhaps write to them and let them know what you are trying to do so they hold back and give you a chance to be assertive/calm/ground yourself etc. With me it was all about my parts trusting me that I could do it and me trusting myself. I know that if I get overwhelmed they will come out anyway or I will ask them for help.

Anyway thanks for having me on the forum